The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 5

paybacktime2008

Big hugs DB.

Try and look at the positives. It's a great opportunity to sot down with yourself and have a good talk. later it's an even better opportunity to sit down with your son and talk about the role alcohol played in the evening for him, his friends, and you.
A massive opportunity to discuss and learn from a very scary first hand experience.
Maybe this friend who helped you will be supportive and sympathetic...only you can know that.
It sounds like you had a very scary 'lightbulb' moment. Try and take what sounds like an awful situaution and turn it into a positive.

Good luck.

Lurkio

jo1972 wrote: »

My mutant phone is posting messages by itself!!!!!

one way of getting your thanks count up *rolleyes*





Morning all

Another one for me :j thats a big 20 - almost my age, don't you know

maman

DB, while I agree that when you get the opportunity you need to talk this through with your son you mustn't beat yourself up. Loads of people would have been in your situation (had a drink at home and so unable to drive) so you needn't feel so guilty and responsible. Try and separate your problems from whatever happened to him/his friends. I think the worse thing would be for you to pour out all your concerns about your relationship with booze to your son and/or family friend now when you're feeling down. Deal with your son's issues first (he may have been scared) and then your own after carefully thinking it through in the cold light of day.

Hugs to you and yours.

Lurkio

DecemberBaby wrote: »

I'm full of "what if's"......

DB - Life is full of "What ifs". Don't beat yourself up too much. It may be worth working out a contingency plan with your DS for such occasions (there are many reasons it may happen, not just because you've had a drink). It may help ease your anxiety.


I have all this to come in a couple of years.......

Lurkio

maman wrote: »

DB, while I agree that when you get the opportunity you need to talk this through with your son you mustn't beat yourself up. Loads of people would have been in your situation (had a drink at home and so unable to drive) so you needn't feel so guilty and responsible. Try and separate your problems from whatever happened to him/his friends. I think the worse thing would be for you to pour out all your concerns about your relationship with booze to your son and/or family friend now when you're feeling down. Deal with your son's issues first (he may have been scared) and then your own after carefully thinking it through in the cold light of day.

Hugs to you and yours.

and that puts it FAR better than I did (or ever could)

saorsie

Hugs to you DB - what a scary experience for you both - however there are some positives if you break it down

• you did respond and were able to help him even though it wasn't as quick as you would have liked
• It's made you take a long hard look at your drinking and acknowledge that it's causing you a problem
• you have a tried and tested support network available in a crisis - they may be willing to help you on your journey to be AF if that's what you decide
• As PBT so rightly said - this provides an ideal opportunity to sit down with your son and discuss the impact that drinking alcohol had for both of you that night and maybe agree a support plan for each other

Anyway enough rambling sweets - take care of yourself and keep looking in - they're fabulous people on this thread who genuinely care about the wellbeing of others

Jo hope you're ok today

Budgie that was a lovely post - without doubt you are one of the fabulous people that I referred to previously :A

-s-

ooooops nearly forgot 19 for me please

jo1972

Lurkio wrote: »

one way of getting your thanks count up *rolleyes*

Errrrmmmm, no actually

Everytime I wanted to go back to last page viewed it asked if I wanted to resubmit form or summat, and then it re-posted a message which wasn't even the last message I'd posted iykwim or even on the reply to message page *confused*, then I did it again!!!

Anyway, stop bothering me, I'm in the middle of a Budgie-esqe post, been doing it all morning inbetween scanning this darn laptop. I've been very selfish on the personals recently *rolleyes*.

Don't get too excited though

Lurkio

jo1972 wrote: »

Errrrmmmm, no actually

Everytime I wanted to go back to last page viewed it asked if I wanted to resubmit form or summat, and then it re-posted a message which wasn't even the last message I'd posted iykwim or even on the reply to message page *confused*, then I did it again!!!

Anyway, stop bothering me, I'm in the middle of a Budgie-esqe post, been doing it all morning inbetween scanning this darn laptop. I've been very selfish on the personals recently *rolleyes*.

Don't get too excited though

do it in word, so you don't lose it.......;)

graemecarter

DecemberBaby wrote: »

I'm sorry to be rambling on like this but I don't know what to do with myself. I drank on Friday despite intending not to. Like so many times before. I just must be an alcoholic.It is the only answer to explain how I behave.Never thought of it until I read posts on this thread.

Please don't be too hard on yourself. Alcoholism is an illness, not a moral weakness. Alcoholics are so hard on themselves when they should be kinder to themselves. The way to be kind to yourself is to get help and not drink. Doing nothing and hoping this is an episode that won't be repeated may not be successful.
I tried with all the will in the world to control my drinking. Like you, I would sometimes not intend to drink, and then find myself with a drink in my hand!
Alcoholics change their goals and plans to suit their drinking.

I have to stop - I know. This has confirmed that I need to be available at all times. I suffer from anxiety at the best of times and use booze to try to cope with that. It is not working. I'm full of "what if's" and tears at the moment. I have to stop - this lesson should be enough to make me just do it but I think I need help. I'm too weak.

You don't need to be available at all times (say when you go on holiday? or are not well?) but I think for your peace of mind you need to know that alcohol is not going to prevent you being available.
Most alcoholics suffer from high levels of anxiety and fear. You are not alone.
Using booze to self medicate is a dangerous path.

Go and seek help - giving up drinking is so very difficult that we need lots of support and encouragement. This thread, while worthy and fun, has obviously not been that effective for you. Perhaps you should use it as well as reaching out for help.
The way to make yourself feel better about this episode is to take action and reach out for help. Sitting with your feelings and thoughts will not be as effective as taking action

Good luck, and please go easy on yourself

Pippilongstocking

Hugs DB and Jo - morning to you all - Lurks - didn't peg you for a day over 21........


Well I can't rack in anohter AFD last night - ended up drinking again and alot.

I'm going for a walk on the beach later and spending the day with DD - we've alot to do.

I think on Monday I need to pop into/email/phone our local advice place and start speaking to someone there. I can't keep this up - I know there's many reasons why I use alcohol to cope with life - I think I need to change my life a bit to cope without it.

As always many wise words and thoughts from here have led me to that decision.

Hugs chaps - much love to you all - trying not to beat myself up too much at the moment - I didn't drink til everyone was in bed - so that's not a social thing - and I need to address that.

Nice to see you about Jo - sorry for the late text mate........