The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 5

squizz_2

Hello again and thanks to everyone who posted in reply to my NYE comment. It's tricky because the venue is managed by my mate's husband and everyone's going, he has given us all 50% off so £35 a head, however it is not in the most accessible part of London, so that means apart from the drinking thing, I'll have to wait for the others to go home (and I am not a late night party girl!) or make my own way and I can't afford a taxi and I can't risk my safety travelling back alone on foot, train, bus then tube. If I tell them this they'll tell me not to worry but I don't want to end up in a difficult position

The alternative now is spending it in my flat which from a cost and travel perspective is great, but I spent last NYE alone and feeling lonely in the flat I was sharing at the time, everyone else had plans so I sat with a bottle of Champagne watching Mad Men and went to bed at 12.10!! I'm feeling particularly low at the moment due to a man (naturally) so perhaps I should go out and be with people who care about me and will cheer me up. Its a quandary...

Now my lunch date just texted to say he can't meet today (this is not the man over whom I suffer so) slightly relieved but will be alone all day again, best crack open the Bridget Jones DVDs!!! :eek:

Sorry for offloading, you're a good natured bunch

Changingways - thanks for the website tips, off to have a look now!

:xmassmile

squizz_2

Hello again again - here are some upcoming events and resolutions from my own debt diary for 2010 that I thought I would share:

1. I will be 30 in September :eek:
2. I will be starting divorce proceedings around the same time, or the ex will because he has a new GF :eek:
3. I will pass my final law exam in August and be qualified and demand more money! :j
4. I will will will will still be living in my flat and more comfortable with less debt
5. I will find a nice man who is not married, only interested in sex or a f***wit - or I won't and I will be happily single :smileyhea
6. I will keep trying to be AF and stop smoking
7. I will start volunteer work at a cat home to compensate for not being allowed a friend of my own in my flat

xx

DecemberBaby_2

changing_ways wrote: »

Welcome DB

Your post rang a bell as this was me a few months back. I am older than you so it's never too late to start stopping or cutting back. For me it has to be stopping and with the aid of this thread and a complete change in my mental attitude I have now been AF for longer than ever before (and am not planning to start again as I just don't want to).


Thank-you Changing Ways.
I will look up those websites. I'm glad to hear you've moved on now from the situation I'm in. I'm interested in the complete change in mental attitude you mention. I believe that has to be the key - but how do you do it? I've seen others mention it too.

I'm full of admiration for those committing to 365 days AF. Good luck to you all. The idea of trying that actually scares me at the moment. My own aim I guess is to drink moderately on social occasions only. I don't go to many of those anyway so that would drastically cut down my intake. Someone mentioned earlier that she had completely stopped drinking at home alone. That's the problem I'm trying to tackle. I'm a mum of two teenagers and I'd like to set a better example than I am doing at the moment. I don't get drunk particularly but consuming way over the safe limits and feeling guilty every day.

I have a couple of perhaps daft questions but I'll ask anyway!
Do/did others have difficulty sleeping when having AF days? I know alcohol disturbs sleep but at least I fall asleep when I drink - although do wake in the night. Without booze, I can still be wide awake at 2.a.m. and it I do fall asleep it it only for a short time. Will this get better do you think?

When I don't drink in an evening, I feel so excited the next day and think I've cracked it! I might manage a few days then something will happen and I'm on it again and then it can be months before I try again. Do others experience this? I find it hard to understand why it goes like that for me.

Best
DB

SiannieLaz

Hi DB,
For me, becoming AF means sleep issues for a while. It usually takes me at least 3 weeks totally AF to start sleeping properly again, as well as waking up feeling refreshed. Today is only my 2nd day AF in at least 3 months and I hardly slept last nite! It does get better tho, and everyone is different so it may be easier for you. However, if you're going to keep drinking moderately every now and again, I don't know how it will settle down.
I have also tried many times to stop, and my problem is that after the initial high of being AF for a while, I feel like I have total control and let my guard down. The thought 'just one won't hurt' creeps into my head and off I go, as one is never enough. I also need to starting learning again how to cope with the sh**ty times in life without reaching for a bottle. Drinking when a problem arises is just avoiding the problem, it is still there in the morning, along with a hangover! I can't tell you how to deal with these setbacks, some people go for a walk, or call an understanding friend, read a motivational book or come on here. There are lots of helpful and understanding people on here who will be able to offer you much more advice than I can.
Take care xx

DecemberBaby_2

Thanks SiannieLaz,

Sound like there is hope for the sleeping getting better then. I've certainly never made it anywhere near to 3 weeks to find out. I hope your sleeping
gets better quicker than that this time.

Thanks for your advice,

Best wishes x

*Mari*

Can you put me down for 1 more AFD please marru, have really screwed up this month and am way off target :mad:

HB can you put me down as a ? for Jan perhaps I'll do better without pledging!!

Catch up later

Mari xx

shaggydoo

........

graemecarter

squizz wrote: »

Hello again and thanks to everyone who posted in reply to my NYE comment. It's tricky because the venue is managed by my mate's husband and everyone's going, he has given us all 50% off so £35 a head, however it is not in the most accessible part of London, so that means apart from the drinking thing, I'll have to wait for the others to go home (and I am not a late night party girl!) or make my own way and I can't afford a taxi and I can't risk my safety travelling back alone on foot, train, bus then tube. If I tell them this they'll tell me not to worry but I don't want to end up in a difficult position

The alternative now is spending it in my flat which from a cost and travel perspective is great, but I spent last NYE alone and feeling lonely in the flat I was sharing at the time, everyone else had plans so I sat with a bottle of Champagne watching Mad Men and went to bed at 12.10!! I'm feeling particularly low at the moment due to a man (naturally) so perhaps I should go out and be with people who care about me and will cheer me up. Its a quandary...

Now my lunch date just texted to say he can't meet today (this is not the man over whom I suffer so) slightly relieved but will be alone all day again, best crack open the Bridget Jones DVDs!!! :eek:

Sorry for offloading, you're a good natured bunch

Changingways - thanks for the website tips, off to have a look now!

:xmassmile

Sounds a good plan, and remember you don't have to drink. I think you have it in your head that you will have to drink to enjoy it, but that isn't the case.

graemecarter

squizz wrote: »

Hello again again - here are some upcoming events and resolutions from my own debt diary for 2010 that I thought I would share:

1. I will be 30 in September :eek:
2. I will be starting divorce proceedings around the same time, or the ex will because he has a new GF :eek:
3. I will pass my final law exam in August and be qualified and demand more money! :j
4. I will will will will still be living in my flat and more comfortable with less debt
5. I will find a nice man who is not married, only interested in sex or a f***wit - or I won't and I will be happily single :smileyhea
6. I will keep trying to be AF and stop smoking
7. I will start volunteer work at a cat home to compensate for not being allowed a friend of my own in my flat

xx

These 2 are massive, and difficult enough without the others!!

This has good advice for those with resolutions (ignore gloomy title)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/dec/28/new-years-resolutions-doomed-failure

graemecarter

DecemberBaby wrote: »

changing_ways wrote: »

Welcome DB

Your post rang a bell as this was me a few months back. I am older than you so it's never too late to start stopping or cutting back. For me it has to be stopping and with the aid of this thread and a complete change in my mental attitude I have now been AF for longer than ever before (and am not planning to start again as I just don't want to).


Thank-you Changing Ways.
I will look up those websites. I'm glad to hear you've moved on now from the situation I'm in. I'm interested in the complete change in mental attitude you mention. I believe that has to be the key - but how do you do it? I've seen others mention it too.

I'm full of admiration for those committing to 365 days AF. Good luck to you all. The idea of trying that actually scares me at the moment. My own aim I guess is to drink moderately on social occasions only. I don't go to many of those anyway so that would drastically cut down my intake. Someone mentioned earlier that she had completely stopped drinking at home alone. That's the problem I'm trying to tackle. I'm a mum of two teenagers and I'd like to set a better example than I am doing at the moment. I don't get drunk particularly but consuming way over the safe limits and feeling guilty every day.

I have a couple of perhaps daft questions but I'll ask anyway!
Do/did others have difficulty sleeping when having AF days? I know alcohol disturbs sleep but at least I fall asleep when I drink - although do wake in the night. Without booze, I can still be wide awake at 2.a.m. and it I do fall asleep it it only for a short time. Will this get better do you think?

When I don't drink in an evening, I feel so excited the next day and think I've cracked it! I might manage a few days then something will happen and I'm on it again and then it can be months before I try again. Do others experience this? I find it hard to understand why it goes like that for me.

Best
DB

Similar to my experience.
This is a common pattern to alcoholics