The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 5

graemecarter

jo1972 wrote: »

GC, just posted this on the smoking board:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=26058117&postcount=2046

Why was it so much 'easier' (not easy but ykwim) with smoking to have this mind set, I'm presuming this is the mindset you are talking about with quitting drinking?

Good post

For me, drinking changed the way I felt much more than smoking. Smoking would 'relax' me a little bit, but drink could totally change my mindset.
Smoking was an addictive habit for me (I was addicted) but drinking was much deeper than that. Drinking had much more to do with the way I was feeling about myself, and my fears, self-pity, not fitting in, lack of confidence around women, etc

Both things I am happy I will not do today - and I think about them everyday day and say to myself I will not smoke or drink today.

For smoking I admitted to myself I was hopelessly addicted to nicotine, and I gave up cold turkey. Alcohol for me was much more difficult, and I needed help from others to give up. There is no shame in asking for help to stop drinking.
I suppose one only really asks for help when they have hit their rock bottom, and is prepared to do anything. I still think some people on this thread have a long way to fall before they hit their absolute bottom. I really hope they don't lose too much on the way down.
That's the nature of alcoholism - it will tell you your problem is not that bad, and you can stop by yourself. The reality for many is that stopping drinking (and being happy) is monumentally hard without support from others.

graemecarter

jo1972 wrote: »

This is what I don't get. I didn't find it as simple as it sounds, many years of attempts that always failed for some reason. Maybe it's like GC says, you've just gotta want it enough and back then, eventually I wanted it enough and it worked remember though I did start smoking at the age of 12 and I was 35 on my last quit :eek:

Hoping the same strategy clicks in with drinking soon! It's just a straight forward strategy too, most of it taken from the late great Allen Carr (RIP), I know that MP finds his tips helpful too. Maybe I should get the book out again, I've got the drinking version but only got to about chapter 2

You have hoped that for a long time now, and it has yet to materialise.
That to me is alcoholism - keep doing the same thing expecting a different outcome. I used to convince myself that the next time I would drink I would be able to moderate. It never ever happened. Then I used to sincerely think that my desire to drink would be lifted from me. That never happened either.
My theory (which could be wrong) is that unless you make some big changes to your personality, then you won't be free of either drinking, or desiring a drink.
But keep on pursuing a state of being AF - by trying different methods you are eliminating ones that don't work.
:T:T

suweb5

Just popping in to say

Happy Birthday yellowmonkey have a great day. :bdaycake:


Fay 2 more AF days for me please.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Everyone.

Lifes been tough for me this week (long stressful story) so not been around.....determined not to drink though & still managing to keep up.

So its 17 for me Fay & the savings are adding up too. Btw really pleased you got to speak to your children...they`ll be home to you soon.

I will get chance to read up what I have missed but in the meantime have a fab weekend everyone & stay strong.

Oooops nearly forgot HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YM :j:j:j make sure you save me a bit of cake with icing on it

Angiexx

winebox

Flying visit from me too...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YM!! :easter_ba

Aaaaand, T2GU pls can I go on the list for 72 hours! Was gonna wait til Monday to see how I feel but as they say, procrastination is the thief of time.......

Gosh am shattered today...the old dog (& I mean the old dog, not myself :rotfl:) was poorly in a has-to-be-cleaned-up sort of way last night, well into the early hours of this morning. YAWN!

Dunno how the drive to OH's is going to be this afternoon...there are loads of MASSSEEEVE farm vehicles bombing around at speed on the single track road between me & him :eek:. I've come upstairs to watch out for DD who was due home 40 mins ago & is allowed to go up the road alone despite little road sense at 10 (not enough cars to teach her round here!) & indeed there she is, clowning round in the middle of the road...must dash!!

jo1972

winebox wrote: »

there she is, clowning round in the middle of the road...must dash!!

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Stop being such a stranger WB

ETA: off to clean, am not allowed back on here for an hour!







:whistle:

yellowmonkey

jo1972 wrote: »

Enjoy the film T2GU! I've just got the cleaning to do with no rewards maybe I'll get myself some choklit later :drool:

Just had some Mint matchmakers...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

My favorite and thank you for all the good wishes for today. Another year older but dont know about wiser :rolleyes:

Dont know how you all found out :whistle:

Hope to catch up later but if not have a good evening

ym

honeybear_2

Thanks for the nice posts, guys

My earlier wobble relates to feeling exceptionally unappreciated... Oh help, can't type more about it as I'm to cry again!

*pulls self together*

Anyway, I have a cunning plan, which is try to appreciate myself. So I'm doing bits about my flat to make it a nice space to be in, have tidied up a bit of the garden too. Am going to have a lovely steamy hot shower & spend the rest of the day having nice food & doing pampering things. Not saure about AF but don't feel like downing a bottle to make me feel better, so that's progress

Best of all...















I'VE BEEN TO THE GYM!!!! So no-one is allowed to chase me round with the hoover

winebox

jo1972 wrote: »

This is what I don't get. I didn't find it as simple as it sounds, many years of attempts that always failed for some reason. Maybe it's like GC says, you've just gotta want it enough and back then, eventually I wanted it enough and it worked remember though I did start smoking at the age of 12 and I was 35 on my last quit :eek:

Totally agree - I smoked from age 13 to 45 so coming up to 5 yrs stopped now :T likewise laods of failed attempts, then it "clicked". Now, never give it a thought. Still think a waft of cig smoke smells lovely, but it doesn't make me want one. I know I'll never smoke again, don't even have to do the "not today" thing. I am genuinely a non-smoker as opposed to someone successfully not smoking but always wanting one.

graemecarter wrote: »

For me, drinking changed the way I felt much more than smoking. Smoking would 'relax' me a little bit, but drink could totally change my mindset.
Smoking was an addictive habit for me (I was addicted) but drinking was much deeper than that. Drinking had much more to do with the way I was feeling about myself, and my fears, self-pity, not fitting in, lack of confidence around women, etc

.

Again totally TOTALLY agree. Two addictive drugs / habits but so different. Having 2 fags doesn't make you think oh sod it & smoke 20. Having 2 glasses of wine, however, 2 bottles later,........:mad: is, as you say GC, why moderation is so hard. And also, I think (well for me anyway) why stopping altogether is also much harder then stopping smoking...that change of mindset it brings on. Smoking became hugely antisocial, alcohol hasn't unless you behave badly in public, which I don't.

Anyway, I ramble on!!!!

Jo, now you wish I was still a stranger, eh?

HB cheer up luv (((hug))) hope your pamper day works for you.

Must go Dale doing 1971 on POTP, my era!

mollypolly

Happy birthday YM.....have a lovely day!!!!

Jo....glad to have you back and happy.I have the little book of Allen Carrs called 'No more Hangovers'...Only takes a couple of hours to read ...if that.I found it easier to keep re -reading that instead of getting into the bigger one.If you would like to borrow it Pm me your address and I will post it to you.I havn't needed to look at it for a few months now.:D

Fay...so glad your children phoned...mine are now 34 and 25 but if I don't speak to them every day I panic:o

Hugs to HB, Sosadangel and anyone else who needs them....hope your days are getting better.

Well done to everyone else.

Off to mums 80th birthday party this evening.....I shall sit back and watch smugly as everyone makes a fool of themselves..LOL.Quite a few of my family have drink problems that they don't admit to....my rich sister(there's always one) drinks a bottle of REAL champagne everyday.(PAH...wish I could afford to;))

Anyway...best go and wash my golden locks.
Have a lovely day.
Love Mollypollyxxxx