The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 5

fedupandskint

jo1972 wrote: »

If, for example, I didn't drink for the next 2 weeks then a work do came up on a Friday afterwork and I went and had a skinful with my colleagues, everyone else would turn up at work on the Monday saying, oh god I was so wrecked on Friday, didn't we have a laugh!! I on the other hand, would say this, but inside my head be disgusted with the thought of drinking alcohol, I've let myself down.

My work collegues are the same - it's all about getting hammered and didn't we have a laugh!

That's why I stopped going out - to learn to control myself better. Now I can't drink anywhere as near as much as I did a year ago and I am controlling the amounts very well. All thanks to this thread.

Not drinking tonight, no plans to anyway.

Tears pricking away today, positivity gone now as the plan didn't work in the way I wanted it to with ex OH. better wait and see ifit kicks in later. Just here feeling numb numb numb and very sad and upset. Wish he would have a change of heart, wish it so so much.

mollypolly

fedupandskint wrote: »

My work collegues are the same - it's all about getting hammered and didn't we have a laugh!

That's why I stopped going out - to learn to control myself better. Now I can't drink anywhere as near as much as I did a year ago and I am controlling the amounts very well. All thanks to this thread.

Not drinking tonight, no plans to anyway.

Tears pricking away today, positivity gone now as the plan didn't work in the way I wanted it to with ex OH. better wait and see ifit kicks in later. Just here feeling numb numb numb and very sad and upset. Wish he would have a change of heart, wish it so so much.

Aw Fedupski...please try not to cry.Sending hugs and positive thoughts to you.My sister is going through the exact same thing at the moment and it is awful.
Please try and keep positive...whatever happens will be for the best even though it may not seem so now.
I believe everything happens for a reason.

Take care of you
Love mollypollyxxxx

maman

Morning all. Too tired to post last night but was AF, so 8AF please fay (and £26.66 saved).

shaggy, I'm afraid I have done a little munching whilst being AF, cheese and crackers last night. I must keep a tighter rein. Ironically, I don't really munch when I'm drinking. Congratulations on your AF and weightloss.

I know it's easy for me to comment as a cutter-down but fay, I'm always having those conversations with myself (although admittedly not in garage - ours is a tip and full of junk and cobwebs). Like MP, my OH still has a drink every night (I found myself watching him and counting his glasses last evening as we are still getting though some cheap duty-paid wineboxes). It's not easy but I must admit once I've made the decision to be AF then I generally stick with it. It's like a ritual, I take my kudzu, milk thistle and vit B and then that glass of water stays with me. (Oh and did you see that everything in H&B is buy one get another half price so that'll save on kudzu).

jo, you're doing fabulously well. The last two weekend I've been to parties on Friday and had masses of units and suffered hugely on the Saturday. I really need to watch that. It's difficult not getting involved in work dos, so maybe if you really don't think you can say 'I'm just going to drink for this one night and then back on the wagon until next special event' then probably stopping altogether is your best way forward.

I know that telling myself I don't drink midweek unless I'm out works for me but I'm thinking that if I drink midweek perhaps I should cancel it out with an AF day at the weekend. Don't know if I'm ready for that - easy to say this time of day but much harder come 6 p.m!

Sorry for ramble, so much of this is about thinking/talking through what's happening. Thanks for listening if you got this far.

Have a good day everyone.

maman

Oh fedupski, thought of you sat at keyboard with tears welling makes me feel so powerless. I can send you hugs and positive vibes and hope it helps. This might sound silly, but what about a brisk walk? I find that the exercise and fresh air helps a bit to clear my head when I'm down. I'm sure people seeing me walk by muttering to myself thin I'm a mad woman (and they could be right!!). Take care.

barshamhillbilly

mollypolly wrote: »

ETA.....The red bit includes you too Sir William:rolleyes::D

I know, I know :p:p:D

One day :cool:

:kisses3:

graemecarter

fayjmck wrote: »

Morning all will update later on. Well done all of you managing to stay AF - will post the list and some lovely well done stars later.

Excuse the following rant which will bring the thread down at bit - no point in saying 'yeah I am doing great when in fact I feel rubbish!!' - thank you all so much for keeping me amused and sane over the past few days!!!!!

I think cutting down is hard - last night was a nightmare for me for various reasons - any few lapses I have into a couple in moderation drinks with chums (when away) I am beginning to think isn't worth it - it doesn't go well for me for days/weeks afterwards my heads in a stupid place - and I could so easily just drink, drink, drink. And I know lots of folks have said that already! Lodgers etc drinking in house last night (which of course they can do - they pay rent and are adults) - I didn't drink with them but finding folk having alcohol in the house really really hard work. I am annoyed with myself today cos all I wanted to do last night was drink the left over beer in the garage (from brother being up over weekend whilst I was away). I didn't drink it but !!!!!! how many stupid converstations do I need to have in my head about it. Standing in a garage at 10pm downing beer just cos its there is not acceptable!! Neither is the converstation in your head about not doing it. (I didn't drink it but I did go in there several times and have stupid conversations in my head about it)

I need to become better focussed I think - easy for me to say 'Oh kids are away I am so miserable' = drink lots

When they come back I am sure I would tell myself 'oh its so stressful cos kids are back' = drink a bit - then drink more.

etc etc etc - Fed up struggling!!

Sorry for the downer post I am just annoyed with myself and lots to do at work which is a major trigger for me - I procrastinate so much nowt gets done and then I get more stressed!

Away to work now - and pop back after lunch when I should have finished this chunk that needs to go in today.

Ordered 'Living sober' from Amazon (thanks Lurks!!)

Hugs and well done those who managing and doing great and hugs to anyone who needs one.

Firstly, well done for being AF yesterday. You are angry with yourself for desiring a drink. You shouldn't be. You cannot control all the thoughts in your head, just the actions you take.
My first thought is usually dishonest, slothful, and self seeking. However, I don't have to act on my thoughts. And you didn't act on yours yesterday!!

The constant noise in your head (I call it the debating society) gets so boring and tiring after a while. The "should I, shan't I" etc...
That's why being AF works for me - the noise stopped quickly as I didn't have the option to drink. I was going to be AF for one day only. And I was.
When I attempted to cut down I was a miserable sod. I found it hard and struggled, and invariably went back to drinking. I kidded myself I didn't have a drink problem. I now know I am alcoholic.
I have surrendered to it. I do not fight it. Thus I don't kid myself I can drink HAPPILY in moderation. I cannot, and never will be able to do that. My life is great without alcohol - it was liquid misery for me, with periods of happiness. I don't want that any more

I used to think I didn't mind struggling (like you said last week Fay) but I did mind. When I didn't struggle any more, I realised how hard it had be mentally and emotionally.

clarabell13

Ah there's some sad posts here today. I'm sending a big hug to all those lovely people feeling down. If it's about alcohol, then the feeling down is all part of the process of acknowledging there's a big problem and of course it's only by acknowledging the problem that we can begin to fathom out how to get past it. No easy answers, god if only there were!

I hope you all find something good in your day to make you smile again.

Clara x

mrsdee

just a quick note as I am at work and dont usually log on over the weekend as OH doesnt know I am a frequent visitor to this thread!
Omg, such a lot of heartache out there today. I can completely completely understand the drink thing. Jo, with workmates like that you will simply have to remove yourself I think. Get yourself a reason to not go - have to go and meet a friend, have to go and see sick relative, have a party to go to, not feeling well, going to do some sport, etc etc. You know you wont enjoy it so why put yourself through it? Start by making that choice for yourself. Then do something nice for yourself with that time (AF of course!) and then you will enjoy that feeling all weekend too and when you go back to work on Monday - well, you can listen to them all saying how great it was. You know what? I think that actually not all of them really think it is great. There's probably one or two that honestly feel like you but havent said yet.
Fay, I am with you too on the drinking "because it's there" thing. And if you are a procrastinator at work - So am I!! I am much less now though when not drinking. When I was drinking I would LITERALLY some days sit at my desk and do completely NOTHING!! and then be terrified all the time that someone would notice and then I'd get fired and then the rest woudl be pure misery (although more time to drink though, which seemed like a reasonable prospect at the time!).
There was something in that programme the other night about how drinking (for people like us) subtly starts to become centre-stage in our lives after a while to the point where we begin to arrange our daily lives around it. We do. We need to recognise that problem and see what we are doing.

so_here_we_are

AF for me yesterday and hoping for another one today - to make up for my No NSD

X

Miss_Piggy_2

Afternoon all

Fedupski - lots of hugs coming your way. As Maman said, makes us feel very poweless to think of you sat there upset. One massive virtual hug is heading your way (and a smaller, sloppier one courtesy of Piglet!)

Fay - We do this to ourselves over and over again don't we?? Its those arguments we have with ourselves that really wear us out. Hope you are ok. You are such a lovely, caring person and I hate to think of you being in such turmoil. Lots of hugs coming your way too.

Jo - you are doing so well. Giving up is SO hard (look at me, a failed example!!;)). You know we are all behind you.

Fay - I'm on Day 4 please

If it cheers any of you up, the lovely Piglet just found an old furry raisin on the floor (I'm a fab housewife:rolleyes:), came running towards me to show me, tripped and the raisin went flying through the air and straight down my cleavage. Having kids is fab............

Miss P
xx