Its so unfair why wont someone help?

AMILLIONDOLLARS

I feel heartless for saying this but if none of the above work, its best to sell the house before is repossessed by your lenders, at least you'd walk away with something.

I would further suggest that your husband stop spending on the Capital One Card as this is another debt being clocked up that won't be paid.

Lastly, I had to take on part-time work to get us out of debt, even though I have a full time job. Ask around the supermarkets as they are always recruiting.

good luck

lisyloo

I would second that.

If the house is repossed then it may be sold at auction at a knock down value for a quick sale.
The lenders don't care as long as they get their money back.

If you have any equity in the house then you could loose out big time.

You need to sensibly assess whether you can afford this house.

Again it sounds harsh - but if you can't afford it then you can't go on trying to live in it.

Fran

Heddwen -

Please don't despair! There will be a way through it but you just can't see it at the moment. Ignore the people who suggest giving up your animals and your house (how insensitive!) I would really advise strongly that you go to, or go back to the C.A.B. As someone else said they have got stronger negotiating powers than us as ordinary consumers and they will negotiate the payments at a rate according to your income. Why not let them do the work for you to take a bit of the presssure off? They will also look at any benefit entitlements - I don't understand why your Working Tax Credit was cut during this tax year unless he had a large income increase (unless it is different for self-employed). The C.A.B. can look at this and your situation as a whole. You are not the only one to think they are a lost cause - me and others that come on this site are not working and want to be. I get intermittent work but it is never for long enough and temporary contracts. A variety of different jobs is ok nowadays - do you need to get help putting a new cv together, where you could be saying how flexible you are etc.?

Lisyloo has some interesting suggestions - if you feel that any work at all will do at the moment, you should be able to get something. This will make you feel more positive about yourself and your situation too.

It sounds like you need the help of third parties to sort out where you stand cash wise (and to listen to them and stick to what they say) first. (Eg. C.A.B. etc.) This will lift a burden for you and things will start to improve. Good Luck! Let us know how you get on.

lisyloo

Ignore the people who suggest giving up your animals and your house (how insensitive!)

My suggestion (and the other persons) was that selling was prefereable to repossesion.
I believe that is absolutely true and not insenstive.

They will be hammered both on price and probably with charges as well if they get repossesed.

AMILLIONDOLLARS

And if they have £2,000 outstanding and can't pay next month's instalment then repossession is a strong possibility

That the reality of this situation

Galstonian

Pets are expensive and if someone else can look after them temporarily until things are sorted out it may be one less burden, I don't think anyone suggested getting rid off them permanently and I'm sure they weren't being insensitive. However, it sounds like rehousing a dog and a cat (or even yourselves) would probably not get you out of the position you are in.

Even if you do not visit the CAB you need to sit down and get everything clear.
Work out:-
exactly how much you owe to all lenders
how much you spend
how much you earn

If you go through this exercise and still find that what you have coming in is not going to cover what is going out (even after taking all the steps you can to change these amounts) then you need professional help. The CAB and the debt counselling agencies mentioned earlier know how to deal with these things, it is what they do. They also meet other people who are on the edge of (or in the depths of) depression, it is a natural reaction to this situation. Go to them and let them help you.

MSE_Martin

The above advice from all posters is extemely impressive. There's very little I disagree with. I also find it impressive that I can see by your responses that you are reading and considering all seriously. A few addendum thoughts rather than any real additions.

i. If you didnt like the CAB try the CCCS. All the charities have different styles and approaches - there is nothing wrong with shifting. It's perfectly legitimate.

ii. Spending money. Right now you need to stop. This sounds obvious but it isn't. You and your husband need to make a decision before spending money. That means anything - a packet of chewiing gum. This added restraint will stop anything going out.

iii. Budget. Im sure you've done this. Do it again. There's a budget planner of mine in the articles section. Every single item in there you need to ask 'how can we spend less on this'. This is the point, its not just budgetting, by isolating each type of spending you need to critically think of each and work out ways to cut it.

iv. Family help. Is there anyone who can lend you the money to get you out of trouble. If there is don't be ashamed. Write out an officially agreement and discuss repayments. If necessary and no one has the money is there anyone who you can trust with a decent credit score who would be willing to borrow the money at 0% (see methods on this site) to get you out of the penalty area. Again you need a repayment agreement on this. As you are risking their credit too. It is a short term solution though - however it may hold things up. Yet i would suggest having this in mind in conjunction with going to the CCCS.

v. Keep posting here. Keep us up to date. Keep talking about what is happening. It's good for you to let it all out - and at different stages people will have different ideas. If nothing else it is an outlet. Rochdale Man uses one thread as his way as keeping up on anything. If you're struggling how to think about cutting down on different areas then ask here. You've posted for a while - you're a regular - that means people here care. You can even use this for discipline - so we can be your 'debt buddies' so you know if you break your word to yourself you will have to tell us - just to make sure you stay on the straight and narrow.

I think the relate idea is a good one too. This is a black time in your life, but it's temporary, don't let it ruin anything permanently. Perhaps you and your husband could draft up none money treat cheques. A massage, a foot rub, someone else making the food, a room to yourself for an hour without being disturbed, an early night. Anything so that when you're down, you can still have a treat, but one that does not cost.

Good luck. Thinking of you

Martin

svmitche

Ignore the people who suggest giving up your animals and your house (how insensitive!)

Fran - I don't think that I was being insensitive at all - I certainly did not mean to be - but rather realistic.

I was simply suggesting that if friends/family could not help in a financial way, with a loan, they may be able to provide a temporary home for the pets until Heddwen and her husband are in a better position to afford them.

I realise that Heddwen has to stay positive to regain an even keel, but she also has some tough choices ahead of her - including whether she can realistically afford the expenditure on her house and pets.

Heddwen_2

Jacqz - am already registered with all the agencies countywide!

lisyloo - Thanks for the good idea of leafleting the local area. We already do with our car cleaning business, especially in the 'posger' areas so I will add some extra services on them. We have been there and done that as far as Kleeneze goes, spent 2 years every scrap of our spare time on it and never made a penny for us, sold very little did as we were told and more but came away at a loss, so don't want to hedge my bets on the other similar schemes, but thanks for the suggestions.

westernpromise - Its not my credit card but my husbands, I refused to have one as ironically enough my morale is what you cant afford you cant have!

Our house is a 2 bed mid terrace with gardens. We have also tried renting out our spare room but that put us in a hole as well. Thanks for the support.

Galstonian - We have aproached the lender (Bank of Scotland) who are happy for us to rent out our house but only once the £2,000 arears have been cleared first. They would allow us to stay on the rate we are on now plus we are paying intrest only as straight repayment is £150 more a month but when the 'tie in' expires in December this year should we still be renting we must swap it to a buy to let mortgage!
I shall certainly give it a go talking to someone more senior as each time I do ring they give me a different angled reply. Thanks for the support.


svmitche - will give the CAB another go. Yes I have exhausted all my job search activities long ago and am still doing the rounds each week now.

I know my parents-in-law will not take the pets anyhow so I have to find a place for them. I suspect they will have to go to Wales and hope thats not the last I ever see of them.

Unfortunately my husband is adamant he will not put the business on a backburner and work with it weekends and summer evenings only. Believe me this certainly HAS been in my desires for the past few months now. Also we have continuous discussions of sorts as to what to do with the house (sell or rent) but we are slightly steered to the future by both sets of parents. Call us sad but thats life for us at times!

Already done a car boot sale, all the rest is fit for the tip. Thanks for the suggestions.

AMILLIONDOLLARS - Have my 'name on file' with all the local supermarkets for a while, keep re applying when jobs come up but get turned down, lost count how many times. Spoke to customer services and they said I was 'too honest on my application form' so I fibbed a little by leaving some un-related jobs out and re-arranged it but still no luck!

I hear what your saying about the sale of the house but its a quick fix but we'd be homeless. We'll be sleeping on the floor in parents home so dont want to spend too long there.

Assessed renting or buying a caravan or mobile home but thats a depreciative profit.

lisyloo - I am nit sure you understand the whole point of my original post? We are trying to sort out the situation but not getting much help. We held our hands up months ago before it got this bad saying we were getting into debt and as you put it "if you can't afford it then you can't go on trying to live in it".

Fran - Thanks its nice to know there are people like all on this board trying to help and support. Yes there are those who are a little insensitive but its just ideas from tops of heads, it does hurt sometimes but truth does. If it means missing ones pets for a year to get back on our feet then its worth it in the long run, especially if I know theyre in a good foster home on a long holiday!

I will certainly take heed of your tips and go and see the CAB and others, thanks!

Galstonian - Already do this each month but figures never get bigger! Income and expenditure totals are exactly equal so no profit then again for once on a positive note no loss either which is better than we were a year ago in a strange sense of speech!

Depression? Did I mention this I recall saying something about already having high blood pressure. Depression - what does that feel like perhaps I am heading that way what are the signs, symptoms and cures?? Dont shout at me :-[

Bison Ravi - All of what you say is spot on. Except my husband is the only one in denial (perhaps its him whos causing the bigger picture problem).

"The situation you're in is a direct result of choices you've made in your lives - starting a business, taking out a mortgage, spending priorities, and so on - and you have to take some degree of responsibility for these choices, rather than expect someone to come in and sort out all the problems for you." :-[

Thanks a lot this rub it in why don't you? Have you never made a wrong move in your entire life? ::)

"Keep a positive attitude as far as you can, make allowances for each other's behaviour under stress, and work through the problem. Set short term achievable targets - knocking £100 of the overdraft for example - and reward yourself (modestly!) for success. And above all, keep the pets!"
We'll try our best but I feel its me who has the biggest struggle.

Heartfelt thanks to everyone so far for all the help and support. Keep you all posted.

Heddwen_2

;D Verry small grin

Thanks so much Martin for your views, I do love your site and use it often. Pity I didn't discover it earlier than I did perhaps we wouldn't be where we are today if I had!

Infact I use it so often I often dont make any final decisions on anything until I have checked out what you and the others have to say about the subject. My favourite phrase lately is - "Ill check it out with Matin and the Moneysaving Experts!"

Nevermind the Capitol One ads Ive got this website in my wallet!

svmitche - I knew you meant well and what you meant!

THANKS EVERYONE. ;D