what would you do if....?

Emmzi

concentrate on getting the best you can for you and our kids.

shopping her now looks petty and will only inflame the situation.

get your settlement. Look after your kids. Make them your focus, not him/ her.

After the dust settles, do what you think is best for your kids. His life, his business.

You will only regret what you do in anger.

shiprob195

Thank you all for your views (many and varied).....lol.

My IFA informs me today that i am unable to get a mortgage at the moment, so i will bite my tougue and see what happens at medation on Thursday......

marshmallows

before you shop them i would suggest you find out for definate he is living there because if she is claiming she is a single parent she can have someone stay overnight for a certain amount of nights (not 100% sure on how many nights)

foxy-roxy

marshmallows wrote: »

before you shop them i would suggest you find out for definate he is living there because if she is claiming she is a single parent she can have someone stay overnight for a certain amount of nights (not 100% sure on how many nights)

It's 3 nights.

shiprob195

Oh, he is definately living there 7 nights. Her kids have told their dad......my friend.

If I am asked a direct question by the mediator or solicitor, about his living arrangements, I will not lie.

mookiandco

It is likely the OP is required to attend mediation in order to be eligible for legal aid to be represented at Court regarding financial matters should it not be possible to agree finances. At the moment the OP is probably being advised under the Legal Help scheme, which means that a solicitor can advise you, write letters, draft documents etc but cannot represent you at Court. To be represented at court she will need a Public Funding Certificate and one of the criteria for obtaining this is that you have attended mediation. Anyway I digress, just thought i'd clarify this for those wondering why she has to attend mediation.

On the issue of your ex's living arrangements, it is possible that regardless of where he lives, he will still be entitled to legal aid due to his income. By all means tell your Solicitor that you believe he is being untruthful and your solicitor can then advise you as to how, if at all this information affects things. In fact it is really important that you do tell your solicitor, as otherwise, how can you expect them to advise you properly if they are not in full possession of the facts.

Your ex's living arrangements are likely to affect the outcome of any financial application. The court will need to be satisfied that both of you are adequately provided for. If he has only just started living with his Girlfriend, the Court will need to consider that this relationship may not work out in the long run and your ex will therefore need enough money to provide housing for himself.

Of course, if the Court are satisfied that his relationship with his girlfiend is long term, then if you or your friends do 'shop' the girlfriend, this is only likely to result in your ex moving out, This could again affect the division of finances as the Court will not expect your ex to live with his family and may therefore award him a greater share to ensure he can get a property for himself (either rent or buy). Therefore, 'shopping' the girlfriend could ultimately be detrimental to you.

Pee

Should you do something to intentionally harm the finances of your children's father? Erm, probably not.

Dinah93

I think you are right, if asked directly be honest. If he makes the divorce sheer hell yes I would anonomously report her at the end. But then if I thought anyone was commiting benefit fraud I would report them regardless, its a disgusting thing to do.

shiprob195

Thank you all for your advice.......he is instructing a solicitor on thursday, i would imagine that they will want proof of address etc, so this may "flush out" any inconsistency in his story.


Thanks again

LJM

let us know how you get on