what would you do if....?

shiprob195

Thank you..

HalfPint

why do you have to go through mediation?? I'd have thought it was simple (like mine)...is he denying the adultary? Is the mediation in the way of relationship counselling type of thing?

I divorced on similar grounds and it was fairly straightforward (as much as it can be with children involved) and I was never told I had to attend mediation. It was suggested to me as a route if we couldn't agree on the financial split or issues with the kids but as we managed to agree, didn't have to do mediation.

I'm sure someone on here will know better....but just want to say well done on making a tough decision and there is light at the end of it all.

HP x

BitterAndTwisted

What difference to his financial position does living in either place make? Is he pretending that he's paying rent and keep to his bro versus living free at his girlfriend's? I don't understand

shiprob195

thank you.

Floss

If when he has custody, your children are not staying at the address he states he is living at then I would advise both the CSA and your solicitor.

And anyone can do the anonymous informer thing to report someone suspected of claiming benefits which they are not entitled to.

Floss

shipr!!!95 wrote: »

....We jointly own the family home. 3 bed semi worth £135k £55k mortgage outstanding. He wants me sell the house and split the equity.......i am not willing to do that without a fight.

He would be unlikely to get the 50% he probably thinks he's entitled to, especially if you have school aged children.

shiprob195

thank you.

shiprob195

Bumping this for the "day shift".
Does anyone else have anymore thoughts?

springclean

yes i do. you are angry and you want to hit back. i would say don't. be better than that. while ever you are holding on to past hurt, you are not moving forward. the saying 'what goes around, comes around' usually pans out.

i would concentrate now purely on what needs to be done. mediate for a higher percentage of the equity based on the fact that the children will be housed for the most part by you, and because of that you will be unable to work as many hours as he can etc etc. Once you have negotiated that, then look at buying him out if that's what you can do. then lock your door in peace, and with dignity.

good luck x

ifonlyitwaseasier

i'd shop him and her, and get a couple of other people to shop her too.

yes it's petty and a bit mean, but in your situation you need to do what is right for you and your kids.

and make him wait for his share of the equity, no need to hurry with that!

good luck!

madnessandmayhem

My sil and her (now ex) hubby have only recently got divorced. They have 2 children 14 and 12 and they have a house worth prob £150k with about £11k ish left on the mortgage. She has now taken over the mortgage and the house is in her name except she has to pay her ex £10k for his share of the house, but she doesn't have to pay him anything until both children have left full time education. this is all worked out because he has various pensions and saving etc because he wouldn't let her work after they had kids, so she is now not entitled to any of his pensions as a result.

As for the other woman, I would try to rise above it, as difficult as it is. Just concentrate on your children and be the better person! good luck with it all xx