Do You Get Involved When Your Teenagers Argue?

HairyHandofDartmoor

Or do you leave them to sort it out for themselves (as long as physical violence isnt involved ).

I tend to intervene, but I think this often makes things worse as my son who is 14 3/4 then gets annoyed with me and says I'm telling him off and it's not fair!

I was discussing it with my mum today and she said that she would just let them get on with it and not get involved, as at 16 and 14 3/4 they are old enough to sort out their own arguements.

What do other people do ?

smartpicture

I let them get on with it, but listen in and if I feel things are too one-sided (which they often are in one house as I have one who's very bossy and one who'll give in to keep the peace!), then I'll have a word with them later. That might be a word with the bossy one to ask her to think about whether she's being fair to her sister, or it might be a word to the quiet one to suggest she sticks up for herself a bit more.

I wouldn't interfere in the middle of an argument unless it directly affected me or the household generally.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thanks, that's very interesting to hear what other people do in this situation.

SUESMITH_2

ours dont argue that much to be honest, but when they do i just let them sort it out themselves

Minxy_Bella

If there's no blood, leave them to it!

Easier said than done, I know...

Becles

I ignore them unless it starts getting too physical or they start swearing.

buxtonrabbitgreen

Mine don't argue that much. But dd does sometimes get really angry with ds. Then the screaming starts. They sort it out themselves though.

peachyprice

My 14yo twins aren't too bad, probably only argue once every 6 months. I shut the bedroom door and let them get on with it.

HairyHandofDartmoor

My sons argue the most, they are 14 3/4 and 12. I think it's a rivalry thing, but today it was my older son and my 16 year old daughter who were arguing!

I think I shall try and ignore it (not easy if you're in the room when it starts) because I feel as if my intervention makes it worse.

My older son is at a tricky age (hormones I think) and hates being told what to do and hates being told off, and gets angry very quickly. But if I get involved he seems to get even more angry because he thinks I'm telling him offf.

It is very wearing and can be upsetting (I don't like conflict)

Thanks for all your answers. Do people think that same sex children argue more? Or do 2 brothers argue more than a brother and sister? In my house the brothers argue almost constantly, but when my older son was on a school trip for 5 days we didn't have a single arguement in the house

peachyprice

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I think I shall try and ignore it (not easy if you're in the room when it starts) because I feel as if my intervention makes it worse.

Thanks for all your answers. Do people think that same sex children argue more? Or do 2 brothers argue more than a brother and sister? In my house the brothers argue almost constantly, but when my older son was on a school trip for 5 days we didn't have a single arguement in the house

If they start when they're in the same room as you tell them you don't want to hear it and bundle them elsewhere, i.e upstairs to one of their bedrooms.

As I said my boys rarely argue, however, one of them clashes terribly with my 8yo daughter, they bicker and argue about the slightest thing. Funny thing is, it's the more placid of the 2 boys and if you'd asked me before she was born which one would be the closest and most tolerant towards her it would have been the other way around :rotfl:

Bennifred

Three boys, 3 and 2 1/2 years between them. Arguments very rare :T

I was one of four girls, who bickered and fought non-stop, lol!