Do you miss anything from your "old life?"

ubamother

Steel wrote: »

And what 'warmer' would you knit if it was a boy cow in that picture? :rotfl:

Hah! boy cows don't keep on giving on a twice daily basis the way girly cows do - so they can stay cold!

Reverbe

Churchmouse wrote: »

I think this is a terribly sad thing to have to post. Reverbe your OH does not deserve you. S/he cannot care for you much that they would see you sleep rough on the street and not take you in. Sorry if that offends, but if your flatmate who lets you sleep on his floor cares more for your welfare than your OH does then it speaks volumes. In 16 months, getting on for one quarter of the time you have been together, that person has not once made the effort to come and see you

.

I can't accomodate. I share with someone who lives in a one room studio apartment and my OH lives several hours drive away and the only time we would be able to see each other is weekends. This is taken up with working as they have had a total ban on recruitment at their company for 2 years , tons of work,a business that runs through the night, a computer system that breaks down a lot and that is essential to running their business and are severely understaffed. My OH is a manager and does not have the luxury of taking time off.They frequently work 70 hour weeks. There woudl be little point in them visiting as I cannot even have the room for them to sit and drink coffee let alone anything else.

zara*elise

I know of a few people who I would view use their OS methods as self denial. Eg one of my friends hates tuna in brine, but as it's cheaper by 3p in her local store she bought it, even though she hated it. I think that's taking it too far IMO.

As for me, I'm fairly new to everything, but I'd like to think my mum taught me well with regards cooking and cleaning. I still need a shove to get into baking though. We had a roast last night and I bought a mix for yorkshire puds thinking no one would notice, my OH could tell immediately and was stunned that I hadn't made them myself considering all the other changes I've made!

As for things I miss, I miss not going out and having an expensive meal... now we eat in (hey, DH, candles and some soft music isn't that bad!) and if we do go out we look for vouchers or coupons that mean we save the pennies. I suppose I miss being able to have an extra half hour in bed, now I get up before DH and make sure breakfast is ready, washing is on, bread is in the oven etc. But what I gain in comparison is a tidier, healthier home, with more money for little treats here and there!

xxxx

jackieglasgow

Reverbe wrote: »

I can't accomodate. I share with someone who lives in a one room studio apartment and my OH lives several hours drive away and the only time we would be able to see each other is weekends. This is taken up with working as they have had a total ban on recruitment at their company for 2 years , tons of work,a business that runs through the night, a computer system that breaks down a lot and that is essential to running their business and are severely understaffed. My OH is a manager and does not have the luxury of taking time off.They frequently work 70 hour weeks. There woudl be little point in them visiting as I cannot even have the room for them to sit and drink coffee let alone anything else.

I try and steer clear of these threads where people comment on specific details of other people's lives, but after having read some of the comments on here, and reading your response to what I thought was a very considered and considerate post by Churchmouse, I too feel the need to comment on your situation. I agree with Churchmouse about your relationship, although no-one can no what goes on inside your life, you paint a pretty bleak picture of what I presume is a romance. I too feel sad for you, not in a pitying way, as you certainly don't need that from me, but more...

this is hard for me to say without it sounding pretentious, so I apologise in advance. But if someone loves you, and you love them in return, be it a romance or whatever other kind of relationship, don't you deserve to feel special to that person, to know that they would move heaven and earth to help, love and support you? If your OH can't travel to you, can you not work something out between you for train, bus or other fares of some sort. If you are working (forgive me, I've not been able to pick that up from your previous few posts), don't you get Annual Leave, can't you work out some time to be together? I just can't imagine how lost and alone you must be feeling, that the person you consider the other half of you, is unable to help you find a solution to your circumstances which would mean fulfilling the potential of your relationship.

As for you living circumstances, I have every sympathy for you, but there are ways of getting a home from your local authority. You don't have to be a drug addict, but it helps. You don't have to get pregnant, but it helps, but did you even put your name down on the housing list? There are plenty of private landlords who would lease through the local authority and accept Housing Benefit tennants, if your income is low enough to get that sort of help. I do know what I'm talking about. I lived on the streets and hostels for a year or so when I was a young women, and it was tough. I lived in a hostel with Prostitutes and Drug addicts, and saw and heard some scary things, and literally had no shoes at one point, feeding myself from Soup Kitchens. That was not nice. I don't tell you this for sympathy, but to show you that things may be bad but there is a way out and up, you just have to find it. Sometimes you sound to me very defeated, and bitter about your circumstances, which is sad. I'm sorry that life has let you down, that's not a great place to be. But fight it, and find a love that's worthy of your own, and learn to start making demands of life, and yourself and the people around you.

I'm sorry this turned into such a preach, and did consider deleting it, but feel really passionately that I should say this. I will now go and hide back in my corner.:o

PS to answer the original question, I chose to go OS, and it's become a lifeline as my husband has had no income this year. I miss going to the movies. Even with Orange Wednesdays and BOGOF coupons, I just don't have the money!

Reverbe

HariboJunkie wrote: »

Actually Ceridwen I said what I did because Reverbe has often made a point of saying how unhappy she is with her current living situation. .

Have I? Well that is news to me. I have never said I am unhappy with my living situation, only that I miss my OH which is an entirely different matter. Please do not presume to speak for me nor put words intyo my mouth. I would not do that to any stranger on here nor should they do that to me.

DKLS

zara*elise wrote: »

Eg one of my friends hates tuna in brine, but as it's cheaper by 3p in her local store she bought it, even though she hated it. I think that's taking it too far IMO.

Things like that I dont understand at all, for an additional 3p she could have the tuna she likes, i could understand if it was £1 more.
My own stance is like most diets a financial one can me utterly miserable and leave you craving for certain items, hence its important to give yourself a little treat whether its a DVD rental, bar of chocolate or a magazine or whatever floats your boat not anything thats going to destroy the budget or full you with guilt, There has to be some carrot in life.

I think there are a lot of people out there that know the price of everything but the value of nothing.

Reverbe

[QUOTE=jackieglasgow;25127817_I_too_feel_the_need_to_comment_on_your_situation.Thank you for your considered posts Jackie and Churchmouse. Much appreciated. I agree with Churchmouse about your relationship, although no-one can no what goes on inside your life, you paint a pretty bleak picture of what I presume is a romance.I would not describe most peoples relationships as a romance as I find the notion of romance to be airy fairy and unrealistic. But I have been in a relationship for several years yes so if you wish to refer to it as a romance that would be gilding the realistic lily but very nice. I too feel sad for you, not in a pitying way, as you certainly don't need that from me, but more...

this is hard for me to say without it sounding pretentious, so I apologise in advance. But if someone loves you, and you love them in return, I have not mentioned love. I do not believe love exists.But I have a realistic relationship and I guess people would use words such as dating or seeing each other or partners if refering to it.

be it a romance or whatever other kind of relationship, don't you deserve to feel special to that person, to know that they would move heaven and earth to help, love and support you?

I am an individual and as such do not ask for nor wish for anyone to support or assist me. I am an adult person in my own right and do not ask for nor expect anything from anyone.As for feeling special to that person, I dont know if I do or not. That is not something that matters nor have i asked.Again I live in my own right not as an extension of anothers affection.I am not selfish and ask for nothing form anyone.

If your OH can't travel to you, can you not work something out between you for train, bus or other fares of some sort.

They work a lot so even if I could afford they cannot give the time.There would be little point my visiting half way up the country if I didnt see them. They get very rare time off and have to spend that with household and other matters. It is common for them only to get Xmas Day off etc..which they spend with their parents. It is not for me to interlope on that.

If you are working (forgive me, I've not been able to pick that up from your previous few posts), don't you get Annual Leave, can't you work out some time to be together? Currently not working sadly.

I just can't imagine how lost and alone you must be feeling, that the person you consider the other half of you, is unable to help you find a solution to your circumstances which would mean fulfilling the potential of your relationship.

I have not mentioned this to them. I feel they have enough problems of their own and they do not know what is going on with my personal circumstances. They had an ex marriage where the other person took took took so I could never infringe on them in any way.

As for you living circumstances, I have every sympathy for you, but there are ways of getting a home from your local authority. You don't have to be a drug addict, but it helps. You don't have to get pregnant, but it helps, but did you even put your name down on the housing list?

OUr council will not do this unless I fit any of those categories.Sorry to hear that things were so bad for you but glad you worked it out in the end and came through a strong person. I appreciate the time and thought behind your post. xxx
. Sometimes you sound to me very defeated, and bitter about your circumstances, which is sad. I'm sorry that life has let you down, that's not a great place to be.

I am very accepting. There are a lot of people who things are nto meant to be grand for and I feel I am just one of those.


PS to answer the original question, I chose to go OS, and it's become a lifeline as my husband has had no income this year. I miss going to the movies. Even with Orange Wednesdays and BOGOF coupons, I just don't have the money![/QUOTE]

Try the free movies threads here..:beer:

HariboJunkie

Reverbe wrote: »

Have I? Well that is news to me. I have never said I am unhappy with my living situation, only that I miss my OH which is an entirely different matter. Please do not presume to speak for me nor put words intyo my mouth. I would not do that to any stranger on here nor should they do that to me.

My apologies. I must have misread alot of your posts. I am pleased you are happy with your lot. I think it is only natural that some of us are concerned about you and the nature of your relationship as you must admit, it is different from what we have come to see as "the norm". I'm assuming you must have lots and lots of contact with your OH by phone etc so physical absence is not so important to you. Anyway. It's none of my business so I'll refrain from further comment or advice.

catman-without_wings

After reading this from the sidelines I have to add my two penny worth.

Reverb To be blunt I simply cannot see how you can call yourself in a relationship no contact- or rather very little for over a year is not something I would recognise as a relationship As for your comments re romance and love I am sorry that you feel that way.

You say you ask for nothing but I get a feeling of sadness, loneliness and dare I say sometimes bitterness. There is no reason at all to accept your lot. If thats what you really want then fine, but I feel perhaps you are depressed sometimes things can seem as though they can't be changed. They can and you can do whatever you want to.

Please visit the CAB or shelter I am sure that they will be able to give you sound advice re your housing situation.
I must add that both Harribo & Churchmouse were spot on in my opinion. People on here are supportive and do tryto help/be supportive. Sometimes you do sound rather bitter and resentful
A large part of sorting things though involve making the first step yourself though.
As I have said before, I do wish you well and wish you only happiness.
Good luck.

catman-without_wings

Reverbe wrote: »

Have I? Well that is news to me. I have never said I am unhappy with my living situation, only that I miss my OH which is an entirely different matter. Please do not presume to speak for me nor put words intyo my mouth. I would not do that to any stranger on here nor should they do that to me.

Uncalled for. Harribo is one of the most supportive and caring posters on MSE. And to be totally truthful I have always felt that your posts scream of unhappiness. Apologies for that.