Bit annoyed with my dad

2boysmum

We visit my dad every Sunday, the only time he ever comes to our house is xmas day for his dinner. He stays in the other side of the city so it's an 18 mile round trip each weekend for us but we always go as he can be quite moody and will go in a huff if we don't visit. Last weekend we got a new puppy so we asked him if he would come over to us, he said yes but then phoned on Sunday mornig to say he wasn't feeling well. I asked him tonight if he wanted to come over this Sunday as I'm not too happy leaving the puppy for that length of time and can't take her with us as she isn't toilet trained, he said he would see, as he was decorating this weekend and he also wasn't feeling very well. Am I being unreasonable to expect him to come over more than once a year?

Sagaris

I don't think it's unreasonable - but that's me!

If he insists on you going there, you could always insist on taking the puppy - after a few puddles (orworse!) he may see the wisdom in your suggestion!

The_Banker_5

He probably doesnt want to hear you yap on about your puppy all the time.;)

bestpud

My mum and dad virtually never come here. I could count on one hand the times they have in around 20 years.

But, that said, they would not mind me taking my puppy with me! In fact they'd sulk if I didn't!

An 18 mile round trip is hardly arduous though, so I'm not sure what you are getting at there? I do a 12 mile round trip to dd's school twice a day, and a 60 mile round trip to uni twice a week... Lots drive further than that every day.

I certainly wouldn't consider it a nightmare journey to see family.

But, if you are fed up with it then tell him you are finding it too much every week and will need to cut down the visits, but he is very welcome to come to you.

Why do you have to give in and go there? Is it imperative he sees you every Sunday?

Perhaps he'd prefer to spend some Sundays alone but doesn't know how to tell you?

2boysmum

bestpud wrote: »

My mum and dad virtually never come here. I could count on one hand the times they have in around 20 years.

But, that said, they would not mind me taking my puppy with me! In fact they'd sulk if I didn't!

An 18 mile round trip is hardly arduous though, so I'm not sure what you are getting at there? I do a 12 mile round trip to dd's school twice a day, and a 60 mile round trip to uni twice a week... Lots drive further than that every day.

I certainly wouldn't consider it a nightmare journey to see family.

But, if you are fed up with it then tell him you are finding it too much every week and will need to cut down the visits, but he is very welcome to come to you.

Why do you have to give in and go there? Is it imperative he sees you every Sunday?

Perhaps he'd prefer to spend some Sundays alone but doesn't know how to tell you?

I wasn't really getting at anything with the miles just stating a fact, I'm not fed up visiting him just thought that he might consider coming to ours even once just to help us out.
"Is it imperative he sees you every Sunday? " We've being visiting every Sunday since before my mum passed away 4 years ago, once we didn't go as I was working late and he said we didn't tell him and he drove all the way to Blackpool to visit his friend. If I say I'm not coming up you can just tell by the tone of his voice that he's not happy because I know he looks forward to seein the kids. I could count the times we haven't visited him on one hand

Krystaltips

My Dad lives a bus, train then 2 buses (or a lift from the station) takes 2 hours to get there as I don't drive... He has a car and it takes 35mins down the motorway... He never ever visits me, if I want to see him I have to go to him... Its harder for me to do that now my eldest is at school and we have another baby... It gets to me sometimes that he cares so little for us that he can't be bothered to come over, or even offer us a lift home to save the 2 hour journey in the dark with 2 tired children... But what can you do?...

Paparika

Maybe.... You dad is poorly...

UKTigerlily

Take the Pup with you (Unless your Dad has unvaccinated Dogs & yours hasn't yet had it's full vaccinations), they should be going out everywhere & being socialised (Just carried, assuming it's young) so going to your Dads would be good for the Pup

roses

He sounds depressed. He needs you to be there for him and make him feel loved. Yes it is tough but he sounds like my grandad where he won't leave the house unless you personally go round and drag him out. 18 miles round trip is a very small amount compared to what a lot of people have to do.

frugallass

roses wrote: »

He sounds depressed. He needs you to be there for him and make him feel loved.

what made you reach that conclusion?

nickyhutch

He's your DAD. Get your !!! round there. When he's gone, you'll wish he was still there to visit.