House and divorce

cellarboy

Just after some advice really on how things will work in a break up. There are two kids both still at primary school but as parents we dont get on and there is no love anymore so its time to look at our options.

Basically we have a house on a joint mortgage is £520 a month. I would be the one to move out and she will look after the kids but still works both our parents look after the kids after school so there is no child care costs.

All our debt apart from the mortgage could be cleared from savings as its on £600. The mortgage remaining is £79000.

I bring in £1500 a month and she brings in £2000 a month after tax.

Looking at the CSA website I would have to pay £290 a month in maintainance plus I'd assume half of the mortgage which would be a total of £550 leaving me with £950 a month.

I want to stay close to my kids and rent plus council tax will cost me £4-500 a month for a studio flat, leaving me £450 a month for bills and food and petrol.
I am just concerned that I cant actually afford to leave.

Have I got my figures right over the mortagage etc? Or would we have to sell the house and my partner and kids would have to move elsewhere and split the house? I just don't know what happens in this situation and though some free advice from here would be cheaper at this stage than a solicitor.

MrsTinks

There is no 100% set in stone dirvorce settlement figures - what you have no choice about is the amount CSA would make you pay - which would be the £290. If your OH can afford the mortgage payments there is nothing stopping her taking over the mortgage... you really need to get some legal advice and speak to your partner about what you both want to do...
There are obviously some technical parts to paying half the mortgage etc or not. As in if she can't afford it then both your credit files would be affected if you missed payments. could she get a mortgage herself in just her name to take over ownership and payments?
There is no "you must" rules for dirvorce (assuming you're married... if you're not then it's a LOT easier - all you HAVE to do is pay the maintenance... morally is a different thing all together...)

galvanizersbaby

cellarboy wrote: »

Just after some advice really on how things will work in a break up. There are two kids both still at primary school but as parents we dont get on and there is no love anymore so its time to look at our options.

Basically we have a house on a joint mortgage is £520 a month. I would be the one to move out and she will look after the kids but still works both our parents look after the kids after school so there is no child care costs.

All our debt apart from the mortgage could be cleared from savings as its on £600. The mortgage remaining is £79000.

I bring in £1500 a month and she brings in £2000 a month after tax.

Looking at the CSA website I would have to pay £290 a month in maintainance plus I'd assume half of the mortgage which would be a total of £550 leaving me with £950 a month.

I want to stay close to my kids and rent plus council tax will cost me £4-500 a month for a studio flat, leaving me £450 a month for bills and food and petrol.
I am just concerned that I cant actually afford to leave.

Have I got my figures right over the mortagage etc? Or would we have to sell the house and my partner and kids would have to move elsewhere and split the house? I just don't know what happens in this situation and though some free advice from here would be cheaper at this stage than a solicitor.

Hi cellarboy

Mrs Tine is right there is no 'you must' rules

Are you are going to continue to pay half of the mortgage indefinitely? (I assume your partner couldn't afford to take on the full payment and buy out your share?)
If you are happy to do this indefinitely then I would suggest you negotiate an appropriate amount for maintenance that you agree between you (if you are amicable?) - if not then involve a solicitor (which is probably a good idea anyway.

You don't HAVE to involve the CSA for maintenance payments - you can just agree between yourselves privately if you are amicable.

If I were you I would consider the long term impact of you paying half the mortgage for a property you are not living in - it might make better sense longterm if you could sell the property and your partner find somewhere she can afford on her own - then you pay her the agreed maintenance.

Especially in light of the fact that she is earning more than you

Have you considered the arrangements for seeing the children - will be a little tricky for over night stay's in a studio flat I would imagine

DigitalJedi

Since you say "partner" I assume you are not married.

MrsTine is basically right. You have to pay 20% of your net salary so your figure of £290 is correct assuming you plan on never having the kids overnight. If you do have them then your figure can be reduced.

I'd discuss with your partner about either selling the house and splitting the equity or buying you out and taking over the whole mortgage. Either way I think it would be unfair for you to pay maintenance, half the mortgage and have your own living costs. Its certainly not a long term solution so my advice is to start off as you mean to go on.

cellarboy

Is it possible to transfer the house entirely into her name and mortgage into her name as a sort of lump sum payment?

There is around £40-50k of joint equity in the house and I wouldn't insist on her selling the home to pay me off as this would be too damaging for the kids and I see no reason why I should make them live elsewhere. Its just that there is nothing between me and my partner now except them.

I still realise that I would pay the CSA maintainence of £290 a month but is it feasible that that is all I would need to pay.

I know it sounds harsh but I'm wrestling with staying and the kids being exposed to fighting and arguing but the two of us carrying on until the kids grow up which is another 10-12 years of hell or leaving now but I need to know I can have enough money to at least stay dry, eat and be able to get to work. After clearing my debts over the past few years I don't want to get back into the debt cycle.

galvanizersbaby

DigitalJedi wrote: »

Since you say "partner" I assume you are not married.

MrsTine is basically right. You have to pay 20% of your net salary so your figure of £290 is correct assuming you plan on never having the kids overnight. If you do have them then your figure can be reduced.

I'd discuss with your partner about either selling the house and splitting the equity or buying you out and taking over the whole mortgage. Either way I think it would be unfair for you to pay maintenance, half the mortgage and have your own living costs. Its certainly not a long term solution so my advice is to start off as you mean to go on.

I assumed this too - but have realised the title of OP's post mentions divorce which would imply marriage?

Not that it makes a difference to me personally (morally) but it does make a difference in the eyes of the law.

cellarboy

We are married but I dont call her my wife anymore. She is just the person I partner with financially for the children.

galvanizersbaby

cellarboy wrote: »

We are married but I dont call her my wife anymore. She is just the person I partner with financially for the children.

I think how you approach this depends on how amicable you both are and what you are both looking to achieve for your future and that of your children.
Good luck

cellarboy

Looking at the CSA calculator unless you have the kids at least once a week then there is no reduction. Current negotiations are that it would only be twice a month for sleep overs so not enough there to reduce. Also until I'm straight on what to do over the mortgage I can only see myself being able to afford a studio flat, which means one of the kids and myself would be on blow up beds.

galvanizersbaby

QUOTE=cellarboy;24953189]Is it possible to transfer the house entirely into her name and mortgage into her name as a sort of lump sum payment?

I think this is possible if you are happy to providing the mortgage lender is satisfied she can make the repayments - you need a solicitor

There is around £40-50k of joint equity in the house and I wouldn't insist on her selling the home to pay me off as this would be too damaging for the kids and I see no reason why I should make them live elsewhere. Its just that there is nothing between me and my partner now except them.

I still realise that I would pay the CSA maintainence of £290 a month but is it feasible that that is all I would need to pay.

Yes if your wife is in agreement - see a solicitor

I know it sounds harsh but I'm wrestling with staying and the kids being exposed to fighting and arguing but the two of us carrying on until the kids grow up which is another 10-12 years of hell or leaving now but I need to know I can have enough money to at least stay dry, eat and be able to get to work. After clearing my debts over the past few years I don't want to get back into the debt cycle.[/QUOTE]

SandC

If she can afford the mortgage (and more importantly the lender's criteria says she can) then there is no reason why you should be paying half - unless you want a proportion of the house when the kids are older. Bear in mind that most cases of the absent parent paying half the mortgage are because that party earns the most and can afford it.

Bearing in mind the equity that you are happy to forego, she would need to be earning £26k to get a 3x salary mortgage so easily doable as a take home of £2000 is more than £26k I am guessing.

If you can do that and you are happy about the equity situation (although she can maybe increase the mortgage a bit and give you some cash to start over?), then you can sort out maintenance payments between you perhaps?

Solicitor advice is required though - the most amicable of arrangements can go pete tong at any time and you need to get things done properly.