Separation

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Of course, if she is really wanting to separate, I am assuming that she will be the one to pack her bag and leave you and the children to get on with it?

If not, perhaps it's a contrived drama to draw attention to the fact that she can't be anyone's little girl anymore and doesn't like it one bit.

Calling her bluff and saying, 'OK then, you want to separate. Tuesday evening's good for me, can I help you pack or drop you off at the bus stop and I assume that your solicitor will be in touch to apply to court for access to our children once you have a suitable house of your own and your maintenance payments are set up to go into my account' may well shake her up enough to realise that expecting someone else to fill the void left is, quite frankly, not normal behaviour for an adult woman.

churchrat

Have you asked her what her "dream outcome" would look like? and what exactly, she wants the future to look like?
make sure she knows that you can only change your own behaviour, not that of your parents.

Ask her EXACTLY what it is she wants you to do, and try and decide if it would change things for the better.

It may very well be that there is nothing that you can do, and I'm afraid that I agree with many of the other posters who feel that there is something else that is troubling her.