In-Laws! urgh!!!!!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Its not just because they are the same sex, the way sil acts with partners in front of people is wrong, boy or girl I don't want to have to watch them groping at my two year olds birthday. There's a lot of my older generation family coming over and as I've mentioned before, in laws don't have anything to do with us so I'm inclinced to wonder why I should bend over backwards for thm and make the people who matter most to DD feel uncomfortable? It also annoyed me that we never knew of this girl but are expected to automatically introduce her to DD, I don't even know the girls name, for all I know she's some pyscho! Ok she probably isn't but you never know! As mentioned before, I have gay and bi friends who understand that my older family don't understand same sex relations and they are fine, we have a seperate celebration and they all love it and have a bit of banter about my family. Its all very tongue in cheek! I don't like how this has escalated through his fanily and that doesn't excuse them for the things they have said

Rachel85 wrote: »

Your in laws sound horrible, and you're better distancing yourself from them. However, I do maintain that your sil is within her rights to be annoyed that you've not allowed her to bring her partner, simply because its a same sex partner. If your family have issues with that, that's their problem surely? I understand that some (particularly older) relatives often haven't got used to the idea of living in such a liberal society yet. My grandparents are a bit like that, but a gay friend of mine still came along to my wedding with his boyfriend - why on earth shouldn't he? I have no idea whether my grandparents took offence or not, but to be honest I don't care either way.

You need to live by example. You say that your in laws have never liked you, but you've sent the strongest singnal that you don't like your sil's new partner.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Oh and this is harsh but - I don't normally get time to like / dislike sil's partners as they change very often. In laws are more upset I've called sil selfish and I think sil is acting up as she's now centre of the attention, a place she thrives to be

BitterAndTwisted

Well, as long you're not the one who's the centre of attention and the focus of their dislike, I'd say you were in a great spot right now.

I'd just try to stay out of it all and also try not to vent your anger too much in front of your other half.

It all sounds terribly exhausting

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

weve recieved contact from in laws!!! they sent OH a text earlier saying "are you coming to pick these presents up or shall we just post the cards" - OH told her to post them. We did miss wedding anniversary - it was last tuesday! OOPS

DKLS

You can use your MILs religion to your benefit, next time you have created some heinous crime, and she has a go, just say "forgive me" and smile.

ZiggyStardust_2

I really feel for you. It's up to you who attends and for them to try and make you OH choose between them and you is astounding! (did they really think it would be them?!) It's a shame that they are going to miss out on your daughter but it's their loss. Be thankful that your daughter has one set of lovely grandparents... I really wouldn't lose any sleep over them. I know that's easier said than done but there really is no pleasing some people :rolleyes: and they've obviously been appalling towards you.

I have issues with my MIL... she REALLY annoyed me on my wedding day (various things!) a few months ago and still not over it, don't think I'll ever completely forgive her! In laws, eh, who'd have them?!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

DKLS wrote: »

You can use your MILs religion to your benefit, next time you have created some heinous crime, and she has a go, just say "forgive me" and smile.

i might call their bluff on that one - as ive said before tho, they can bleat religion all they like, they only go to church once a year so they arent really dedicated are they. Thats like saying im a vegetarian because i eat nothing but vegetables a few days a year lol

Ziggy - yes i think they thought he would choose them, kinda backfired tho didnt it lol I did the sensible thing and not force him to choose