grrrr!!

shellsuit

Has she actually booked everything yet em?

I'd be pished off too if it were me. Especially as she's grilled you over yours, so she must have had some idea at the time.


pink-phantom, you said : The other party has got pregnant and has decided to get married. As far as I can see, this should be a cause of celebration! And in future years I'm sure both days will be looked back apon by the child with equal value! Surely that's more important!

IMO, that's not a good reason to have a rushed wedding. When I was expecting, my Mum and Dad suggested that me and my fiance got married in October last year, because we had a family holiday booked. They said we could use the holiday as a honeymoon.

We didn't want to do this, we didn't want a rush job shotgun wedding before the baby was born. We wanted a nice wedding with nothing else to worry about which is why we are getting married next October instead.

The baby has Daddy's name anyway, so it doesn't really matter.


em, if you have your venue and the registrar booked, then I'd send out the save the dates. BUT if they aren't both booked, I wouldn't do it yet as anything could change.

I read yesterday on another forum, that someone had booked their venue and sent out their invites (they aren't getting married for another 18 months!), then they went to book the registrar, who told them that they didn't have a slot free for the time they had booked the venue for.

emlou2009

shellsuit wrote: »

I read yesterday on another forum, that someone had booked their venue and sent out their invites (they aren't getting married for another 18 months!), then they went to book the registrar, who told them that they didn't have a slot free for the time they had booked the venue for.

:eek::eek::eek:
you're meant to call the registrar exactly a year before the wedding to book arent you? cos you cant book them any earlier? what a horrible thing to happen, i'd be devastated!

i agree with what you say on the whole shotgun wedding thing, we could have gone and done that too but we decided it would be nicer to wait until the little fella could be part of the day.

the annoying thing is she knew we hadnt put the deposit down yet, and put hers down before she gutlessly told OH to tell me about her plans :rolleyes: so i suppose we could find somewhere else, but i love our venue and its just completely perfect for everything that we want and need so i really dont want to!

Dee-Dee

That is awful. :eek:

Weddings say so much about who we are, and we spend so long planning them that I can understand why you are so annoyed. Have you spoken to your friend about this as ity may be that she just doesn't understand why this is a big no-no (although I do find that very unlikely!). My MIL2B wanted us to have our recpetion at the same place my SIL2B has booked....before their wedding! She couldn't understand why I insisted that this would not be a good thing!

I would totally send out my Save the Date cards first and I would find the biggest gossip amongst your mutual friends and would tell them 'in confidence' about who booked what when...

I am sure that you will have a fabulous day and as I said before, a wedding is a big reflection of who you are so I wouldn't be surprised if your friend's wedding falls a bit flat anyway.

shellsuit

emlou2009 wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:
you're meant to call the registrar exactly a year before the wedding to book arent you? cos you cant book them any earlier? what a horrible thing to happen, i'd be devastated!

i agree with what you say on the whole shotgun wedding thing, we could have gone and done that too but we decided it would be nicer to wait until the little fella could be part of the day.

the annoying thing is she knew we hadnt put the deposit down yet, and put hers down before she gutlessly told OH to tell me about her plans :rolleyes: so i suppose we could find somewhere else, but i love our venue and its just completely perfect for everything that we want and need so i really dont want to!

we went last week and provisionally booked the registrar, then we have to go back on the 2nd oct, to book it properly as thats the date we're getting married next year, but with it being on a sunday this year, we'll make the appointment for the monday.

if you're getting married at a venue, ie not the reg office, you can provisionally book upto 2 years in advance.

we're the same as you em, we wanted a day for ourselves, but one that the children could all be part of, plus i didnt fancy waddling around in a wedding dress, with heartburn all day, needing a pee every 20 minutes and having sore puffy feet and ankles :rotfl::rotfl:

sod your so called mate, let her do the rush job. at least you have the time and patience to wait xxx

roxalana

My advice to the OP is to wait a week or so before taking any action.

Planning a wedding takes a lot of effort and I think all of us go to great effort to make it perfect and also unique to us. Because of this effort, the smallest thing 'going wrong' feels absolutely devastating and I can understand why the OP is upset - especially if this woman has 'borrowed' more than one of her ideas.

However, even if she is using the same venue, it won't mean that your weddings will be identical, even if they are packages from the venue. From the weddings I've been to, it is things that we did, or the time I had that I remember rather than the dressing of the venue. It also sounds like there is a bit of time between the 2 weddings, so I think the risk of people comparing is quite low even if you have some of the same guests.

As such, I wouldn't worry about the save the date cards if you only want to send them so people know that you picked things first.

However, i don't think it is a good idea to share any more of the finer details with this person until you know that she has already finalised those things!

I am wondering if this friend is someone the OP was good friends with before this incident or whether this is the latest in a line of annoyances?

If you were good friends before I wouldn't let this come between the two of you - she may genuinely not have thought that this might hurt your feelings expecially if she is trying to plan her wedding and to sort stuff for the baby - or it might be that you have the most fabulous (and good value!) venue in your area!

However, if this is the latest in a long line of hurtful things she has done, then I think you are right to distance yourself!

pink_phantom

Ok. Maybe I was a bit harsh and I didn't mean to offend. I've just seen so much !!!!!! happen (I work in a hospital) that I think life's to short to hold grudges! I'm sure you can find ways of personalising the day. Who knows maybe you could utilise the situation and save money by re-using some of her stuff?xx