in laws

ameliarate

I am so lucky. My in laws live 5 minutes walk away but they almost never pop in without ringing first. We see each other probably once every couple of weeks. I get on brilliantly with both of them and OH get on really well with my dad who lives about a 20 minute drive away. I often say I only stay with OH so I can keep the in laws.

DKLS

Am also very lucky, I was dreading meeting the inlaws, but they soon become firm friends after initially being quite hostile and protective, due to her ex being a numpty, I actually do enjoy their company.

We see them about twice a month, usually for a meal.

poppyolivia

I go to my mums and dads and the inlaws every Sunday...have done for the past 11 years....they are great and wouldn't have it any other way!...:)

houseofboys

Met my future hubby in 1992,met his parents afew weeks later...never got on with his dad (he has since passed away)... His mother on the other hand was always pleasant,but I feel nothing for her...her sister is lovely and we always speak on the phone or email and make the effort to see each other when we come down (160 miles away) and I have genuine affection for her.

We haven't seen his mum since Dec 2006..we don't drive and bussed it over with 3 kids to see her and hubbies 2 brothers to exchange xmas pressies,we stayed an hour,she chain smokes and no open windows! We have 3 boys her ONLY grandchildren,never get cards for xmas or birthdays,we make the effort and even send pics of the boys...but get nothing in return (is it to much too ask for a card for grandsons birthdays???)

We have now moved 160 miles away,right by the sea and on the rare occasion I speak to his brothers (hubby won't speak to any of them) they want a free holiday!

I should thank her for one thing tho......making my hubby the lovely man he is :T I really do wish we had lovely in laws,for my boys really.
Hey ho,shes missing out on 3 gorgeous,funny,super grandchildren

blackcoffee

I havnt been to ours for 2 years!! it wasnt intentional, we just are busy!! they come here every 6-8 weeks when they can fit us in around thier equally busy lives. . Dh stayed with them twice last year on his own, he was travelling in the area so stopped over.

his parents are remarried, and its complicated, I prefer to keep my distance from his mother and her new family, however am a dutiful dil when they visit !

never_enough

ameliarate wrote: »

I am so lucky. My in laws live 5 minutes walk away but they almost never pop in without ringing first. We see each other probably once every couple of weeks. I get on brilliantly with both of them and OH get on really well with my dad who lives about a 20 minute drive away. I often say I only stay with OH so I can keep the in laws.

My first MIL was lovely, mad as a hatter, but so very gen tle, kind & funny. I liked her so much that I moved in with her for a few months & ended up staying several years. I missed her waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I missed her son when we split.

Fleago

Triggles wrote: »

She is great with the children and offers to babysit them regularly, although the only time we've taken her up on that was to babysit our 3yo when I was in labour/delivery with our youngest child. (we don't want her to feel like we consider her free childcare - we much rather she get to visit them and just enjoy interacting with them without the hassle of being the carer)

It sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your MIL, Triggles, but this bit struck a chord with me. I don't mean what I'm going to say as a crticism, so please don't take it that way.

The thing is though, that she really might just be longing for a bit of time alone with the grandchildren, because lots of grandparents really love having the grandchildren all to themselves for a little while without the parents about and don't see the caring bits as a hassle at all. It gives them a chance to do special things, just between themselves, and it can build up very happy memories for all concerned. I have a relative who has two grandchildren who for a long time weren't left alone in her care and, to be honest, it broke her heart as she just wanted to do some fun things with her grandchildren without Mum and Dad overseeing. That's all changed now, and she is much happier for it.

As I said, it's not a criticism and you should, of course, do what suits your family best. But I just thought I would put a different point of view to you in case you think there might be some merit in it.