in laws

Sarahlou_2

As little as possible! They don't make an effort to come over and see us (20 miles) so don't see why I should make an effort. They all get on my nerves......... so probably see them once a month max!
OH knows I don't like his sisters and I just about get along with his mum - they're common as muck and I'm embarassed to go anywhere with them (its like an episode of shameless!). His dad's ok though.

His sisters think I'm stuck up cos I don't like eating in various dirty stinking cafes and pubs (errr don't think so!!!)

Rant over!

jillie1974

we see DH parents most weekends. we usually meet for a few hour in the pub. although this has more or less stopped now with baby due soon. we are the 'good son and DIL' (normal- its too long a post to explain) so his parents like to see us. dont have a problem with this as we do get on well. there are some thinhs i dont like but as with most people this is more to do with the way i would like, say xmas, done than how it actually is.

mu mum lives in Rep Ireland, so we see her bout 4-5 times a year and usually for a week at a time. so really over a year we seee both sets of parents equally. just so happens its his parents we see more often. i am a bit sad that this means my mum will miss out on things when baby is born (expecially as will be 1st grandchild for her). but mum has said she will come more often and stay for weekend (fri-sun nt) instead.

gingin_2

Mine live across the other side of the world but pay a visit once a year for a month. It's taken us a few years to get into a routine whereby they have to understand that we can't put our lives on hold for a month and life has to go on, but that they are welcome to stay, enjoy our house and spend as much time as they like with the children. I've had to do it twice when I had just had babies and that was HARD, I'm shaking my head as I write it as they are quite needy and I basically have to mother them as well as my own 2 children and a husband who is out of the house for 14 hours a day.

We encourage mine to travel for a week and kinda arrange a mini europe holiday for them just to give us a breather for a week. MIL loves this as she never got to travel before OH came to the UK, but FIL would be much happier sitting on our sofa.

I actually love my inlaws to bits and see them as a second set of parents, just as they have told me that they see me as a second daughter. We have some howling great evenings when the kids are in bed over a few bottles of wine and they are just brilliant with the kids, will always take them out to the park after school on their own while I make dinner and never resentful of my parents who are very proactive with the children. I love to cook and MIL admits to it not being one of her talents, so no stress there and I know they are chuffed that their son is being well looked after on the other side of the world. The last couple of days before they go home they get quite teary and quiet which is hard, but it's always the same and I am used to it now and easier that my SIL has had children and they can go back to them.

I am very lucky indeed

Threebabes

My inlaws live about 15/20 mins away, in the last year we have seen them 2/3 times, we hadnt seen them for 8 month until recently and last year we went 8 month without seeing them. My DH doesnt really like them and they make no effort to see our kids. We do sometimes knock if we are in their area but more than likely theyre out.

I would like them to make more effort with the kids, but I dont think theyd be bothered if they never saw them again! They do see SIL kids at least once a week though.

I also dont see my own mother and very little of my dad so theyve no grandparents in their lives really, which is a shame.

Any

I have to say I consider myself extremely lucky - I adore my in laws.
My MIL is the best cook in the world and my FIL eats anything as long as there is lots of it and so thinks I am the second best cook in the world because I feed him enough.
They live very close by and invite us for meal at least twice a month. As my OH and I both work full time and don't have that much time at home, they don't expect us to return the favour too often.
They always take us out to some nice restaurant for my or OH's birthday.

I spend time with my MIL on other occasions, such as Ascot ladies day in local hotel that is organised by local Rotary club and we are also invited to many of their other do's.

Unfortunately I cannot say the same about my OH - he doesn't feel the same about my mother. She is very hard work and extremely selfish person. I can't really do with her either any more.
However my dad makes up for it, even though he gets on my nerves when we spend too much time together as when he is in our house he tries to be as little trouble as possible (which you then feel and it feels wrong - you know what I mean?), while when we are at his he tries too hard and spends all the time entertaining us and cooking for us (he is a chef). Which is lovely, but have you ever tried to swallow 5 main meals in a day??? But my OH loves it. And him.

jellymid

Managed to get it down to twice a year, now. We try to arrange it when other family members are there - less intense - and stay in a hotel for one night, but otherwise do a 8 hour round trip in a day to avoid confrontation whilst keeping up appearances. Sad that it has come to this, but believe me, it's pretty grim! The whole family dreads it, thankfully our teenagers are coming to an age where we can leave them behind.

miserly_mum

I NEVER visit any of them and thats how it's going to stay.

Every time we visited them (35 mile drive with 3 kids)as despite the fact she had a weeks notice that we were coming there was never anything to eat, even for the kids. Endless cups of coffee but not as much as a biscuit with them. We had to end up going to the chippy as we were all starving, costing us a bomb as we felt obliged to buy for the rest of them as well :mad:

All they talk about is DVD's and their various (non existant) ailments and after 30 mins I have lost the will to live and just want to sleep

Also they live in a small flat and the heating is on full blast winter and summer. Sometimes i felt like passing out I was so warm. Add into the equation my SIL who always called round when she knew we were there mainly to tap OH for money and she smells REALLY BAD.

Imagine a really empty stomach, intense heat and the smell of an unwashed body in a confined space....do you get the picture? _pale_

So I never visit but OH and my 3 year old go down to visit them about every 5-6 weeks and stay over night. I know he doesn't particularly want to but feels guilty if he doesn't visit them. Our wee one really does love seeing his Granny and I know she loves seeing him aswell.

We invite them (MIL,BIL and SIL) to our house about once every 3 months. None of them drive so OH has to drive down and collect them and they get a taxi home.

They get a proper lunch and dinner when they are here AND we are expected to buy the booze too. That does get on my nerves but after a few glasses of vino the time goes in a bit quicker for me. :beer:

FIL is a nightmare so again I just don't visit him and he's NEVER invited here because.......well he's just a big mouthed drunken pain in the bumholio.

My wedding day is going to be very... um.... interesting with all of them together as nobody in the family except my OH talks to his Dad. :rolleyes:

Any

miserly_mum wrote: »

Add into the equation my SIL who always called round when she knew we were there mainly to tap OH for money and she smells REALLY BAD.

Imagine a really empty stomach, intense heat and the smell of an unwashed body in a confined space....do you get the picture? _pale_

We invite them (MIL,BIL and SIL) to our house about once every 3 months. None of them drive so OH has to drive down and collect them and they get a taxi home.

They get a proper lunch and dinner when they are here AND we are expected to buy the booze too. That does get on my nerves but after a few

Very good job your OH turned out well! They sound like a nightmare!! Why does SIL smell so bad? And how do they tap him for money?
I think it's very kind of you having BIL and SIL over for lunch... I am not sure I would invite smelling person who taps me for money into my house...

miserly_mum

Any wrote: »

Very good job your OH turned out well! They sound like a nightmare!! Why does SIL smell so bad? And how do they tap him for money?
I think it's very kind of you having BIL and SIL over for lunch... I am not sure I would invite smelling person who taps me for money into my house...

SIL just doesn't wash very often. MIL is very clean (as are the rest of the family) and her house is immaculate. They have tried everything over the years to get SIL to clean up but it hasn't worked. MIL just puts up with it because she's her daughter I suppose. When SIL comes here she has to wash or OH won't let her in the car.

SIL just follows OH about and hovers until she gets him on his own and asks him for money. He used to be really soft but has learned not to feel guilty about saying no now.

Personally I only feel the need to invite MIL to our house but they come as a trio. Invite MIL and the other two just assume they are invited too.

Any

miserly_mum wrote: »

Personally I only feel the need to invite MIL to our house but they come as a trio. Invite MIL and the other two just assume they are invited too.

I am getting the feeling that not that they "assume", they try it on. They sound like proper free loaders.

I like the note about your OH not letting your SIL into the car unless she washes:rotfl: Good on him.