Not enough money to live on very depressed

monkeychops

Thanks for all your kind words. I am feeling a bit happier this morning, the sun is shining and things don't look quite so bad even if my cat has left me a present of a dead baby bird - feathers everywhere. Did get upset over that but on the whole more cheerful.

The lodger idea is one I had thought of but I don't think we can as our house is rented. Our landlord doesn't live that close but the neighbour across the road from us is a friend of his and seems to notice every single thing we do so she would probably tell him. I suppose we could ask him but somehow I don't think he would agree.

As for moving abroad well, funny you should say that because we lived in France for quite a few years (I hated most of the time there) and one of the reasons we have problems now is that we sold our house here to live there without a mortgage but because houses are so much cheaper there and also when you sell if you do not buy another house in France you have to pay Capital Gains Tax, we ended up without a lot of money. All the money we did have (and it was not a lot) we have used up since we have been back. This is partly how we have managed not to get into any debt.

Did try and talk to hubby last night although he is not very good at talking about problems. Have not really come to any conclusion except I am going to try and do some overtime when I am. It means working Sundays which is about the only day we have together and usually take our dog out for the day but we have decided the money is more important at the moment. It won't be that much (about 30 after tax) and there are usually more people wanting to work it than they need but I am going to try. Even if I can only do 1 or 2 a month it is something. We are going to try and do a boot fair in the next couple of weeks. We don't have a lot to sell but will scrape together a few things. Also going to get our names on the Council housing list. I don't think they will be able to help but if we can get our names on there we can then apply to housing associations. Also apparently if your name is on the Council list you may be able to apply for shared ownership housing. We would still have to have some money at least for the legal fees but may be worth looking into. Not totally sure how it all works and a lot of the schemes say they are for key workers only and we are not key workers.

Bonnie, you mention almshouses. How do you go about getting into these? Can you give me any info?

Sorry I have rambled again but once more thanks for all your kind thoughts it has helped me much more than I can say.

beverleyhills

Congratulations for staying out of debt when you have a low income. It can be very depressing lurching from one payday to another. It's even more demoralising when there is debt hanging over your head

The nice weather today has cheered you up. Do you have a garden? I find that can be quite absorbing.

Overtime at the weekends could be helpful, but not every weekend because you do need to spend time together.

Are there any dog owners who go out to work living near you who would pay you to walk their dog in the mornings? Is there anyone who would pay you to look after their cat while they are away on holiday? Catterries can be quite expensive.

Not having qualifications can appear to be a brick wall. Can I suggest that you and DH sit down and get creative. List everything that you can do or know.

I will start you off:

You know how to look after cats and dogs.
You have lived in France and learned about their way of life.
You write well.
You will find that you have quite a mix of skills and experience which may help you to sell yourself in job applications

Chin up you are doing really well

*Connie*

Hey there,

I just wanted to include something for you about antidepressants. I am on Citalopram because I got very very stressed and had panic attacks which started on Valentine day this year, partly because of problems with my money and debt worries. I take them in drop form and they have stopped the panic attacks and I suppose this has made me feel less depressed overall. I would say though that the 'first thing to do' is not to go and get antidepressants from your doctor. Talk to your doctor maybe, but as you say, antidepressants wont help the actual problem go away and by coming onto this site you have proved that you can make postive steps without the need of pills or drops. You do, as someone else has said, write really well, really concisely. Are you artistic too? Could you design greetings cards? I did that for a while and made back the money to pay for my food shopping every week. You would need to buy the card but if you can do designs directly onto it and sell that at boot fairs you might be surprised at what you can do. I also used boot fairs to sell cakes (gingerbread men - we have one to a kid for free and then they all wanted them, it was a great tactic) and made a profit - I think we spent about £3 on ingredients and made £15 or so, but if you can flog some cards or items to cover the cost for being there then a tenner or so a week extra is a pub lunch for the two of you on a Sunday when you take the dog out - lovely way to spend time together!

Also, how close are you to your community? You could organise a clothes exchange where people pay £3 to you to come along (you could donate £1 from that to charity or something) and everyone puts their clothes in that dont fit them etc and it can be a really good way to reinvent your wardrobe. I did it and I offered to pick up the clothes and wash them and iron them which sounds like a slog but actually only took 2 or 3 hours and I made about £40 and got some nearly-new clothes (in exchange for ones I didnt want). I advertised it by dropping some printed flyers through my friend's doors and emailing them.

Where do you use your internet from? If you have the internet at home then there are things you can do yourself that dont need you to prove any qualifications.

Sorry that these are all a bit short term but if the other comments about longer term issues are helpful then doing some short term measures in the interim will proabably help the way you feel on a day to day basis - you never know, you might even enjoy it

Anyway, I tihnk my point is that I think you should be careful about medication. The things that I am doing while I am on my drops will hopefully help me to be much less stressed when I come off them but that is a risk. Part of me is scared to come off them and I do think it is a slippery slope. Your doctor should talk to you very carefully about them and offer you some kind of NHS counselling which might be better to do as then you have an outlet to talk about how you feel.

Sorry this is so long and good luck with everything. I will keep looking back to this thread to see how you are getting on!

xxx

skintchick

I would also say about anti-depressants, they don;t take the problem away but they do take the symptoms of the depressin away and help you think more clearly.

When you're depressed you have skewed thinking which spirals you downwards, so by taking the meds you can stop that spiral and take control of your head back.

I am on them on and off all the time, and they are very helpful when things are really bad.

Your GP will start you off on mild ones, and only move you onto stronger stuff if you need it. They do take about a month to kick in though, and you need to stick with them even through the side effects, but they will help you.

Big hugs

Also, I know you don;t want to post your SOA but it's hard to help you without knowing how much money you are juggling, or how much you have spare (spare?! I hear you say!!! lol)

Might be worth telling us anyway.

earwig

please dont feel bad if you do need anti depressent if your leg was broken you wouldnt think twice about puting your leg in plaster to fix it it is the same thing with depression its a chemical imbalance of the brain nothing more than that if your doctour thinks you need them then take them they will help you and you will feel stronger to tackle your problems my mum was like you didnt want to take them once she did she was angery with her self for the many years she wasted feeling depressed when all a long there was somthing out there to make her feel better

tesuhoha

This is just an added thought and probably not that useful, but if you are getting working tax credit, how about having it paid into a high interest, easy access account and how about saving up for all your bills in the same account so at least you accumulate some interest over the year. If you could be self controlled about it, you could take out a cashback credit card to use for your living expenses, ie food, petrol etc. and pay it off completely each month from your savings account. That way, you would get cashback and interest. However this would only be worthwhile if you paid the card off completely each month but as you are not in debt and seem to be good at budgeting, maybe this would work and it would give you a little extra money. Also, if you have a Morrisons filling station near you, they do a apoints card. It is one of the cheapest places to buy petrol and eventually you will get a £5 shopping voucher to spend in Morrisons. Just added that because I got mine today.

edwinac_2

earwig wrote:

depression its a chemical imbalance of the brain nothing more than that

That is the Big Lie of the psychopharmaceutical industry.

There is absolutely no evidence that biochemical imbalances are the cause of any functional psychiatric disorder.

It is worth noting that there is a clear distinction between Alzheimers and Parkinson's disease which from autopsy are clearly show to be organic disorders of the brain, whereas functional disorders of the mind, such as depressive thought patterns, agoraphobia, juvenile hyperactivity, etc, cannot be diagnosed through any form of chemical or biological test.

Any doctor who claims otherwise - purporting that a chemical imbalance can be identified - is either completely ignorant or else is a liar.

Big Pharma is one of the most corrupt industries in the world - next only to narcotics and arms trafficking. Caveat emptor.

Only last week, the controlled corporate media revealed that the (US) psychiatrists' Bible, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), is in a large part ghost-written by Big Pharma itself, in order to maximise the sales of its snakeoil wares. Some 70% of the entries in the DSM are authored by medical consultants who work for the drug companies themselves.

Note also how numerous new psychiatric "diseases" spring up every year - each one bringing new prescriptions that further swell the already burgeoning coffers of Big Pharma.

I can remember when Dr James Le Fanu, the resident quack at the Daily Telegraph was trying to kid his readers that an inability to urinate in public - i.e. in front of another man standing at the urinal stalls - is a neurobiological psychiatric disorder. He dubbed his "disease" "penuresis" - which Le Fanu warned needs prompt treatment with a psychotropic prescription drug. On that occasion, Le Fanu was peddling a benzodiazepine.

The US courts play frequent witness to the tragedies that anti-depressants can cause to family life. The SSRI group of anti-depressants (Prozac, Seroxat, etc), can trigger extreme violence in those who take them - one medic describes the effect of SSRIs as being a "cocaine-like stimulation".

Several of the Columbine killers, for example, were high on SSRIs when they slaughtered their classmates. At a time of distress - financial difficulties no doubt no exception - cannot possibly be aided by the injection of mind-bending drugs into the fray.

There are two excellent online resource on psychiatric drugs:

The Rowntree Foundation-funded www.socialaudit.org.uk project.

and the website of the Harvard-trained sceptic psychatrist, Dr Peter R Breggin, www.breggin.com/

grex9101

edwinac - you are 100% correct.

I would not recommend anti-depressants to anyone.

Monkeychops, do not go down this road-a chemical dependency is the last thing you need on top of your other worries.
Try to get your doctor to refer you to an acupuncturist, or a masseuse. This IS available on the nhs.

*Connie*

Just a little note to say that I am glad that someone else isnt recommending antidepressents - there is a lot to be said for just being a bit proactive. I think this is all beside the point anyway, as Monkeychops seems more interested in a way to earn some extra money, which is great. Having having all your bills covered and not being in debt is fantastic - anything extra is extra and you can do what you like with it and that is a cheery thought if ever Ive had one. xx

Aril

Is dog walking a possibility to bring in extra cash [don't know how this would impinge on working tax credit but sure someone will know]
Am thinking of you
Aril