Not enough money to live on very depressed

monkeychops

I am not in debt as such but am struggling just to meet everyday bills. For your information, myself and my husband are in our early 50's. We rent a house and we have no savings whatsoever.

We both work full time but have low paid jobs. There is not much chance of that changing as neither of us are qualified.

Our rent is 750 a month (we live in a house because we have a dog but in our area flats are not much cheaper) and our council tax is 113 a month. On top of this we have the usual gas, electric, water etc. There is honestly no point in my going into detail as to how much we pay as I have read everything on this site and know that we are paying the absolute minimum for everything. We did not even have the heating on much this winter in order to keep the gas bill low. We pay everything monthly so that we do not have big bills coming in. We spend very little on food (about 20 to 25 a week), do not smoke, rarely drink, hardly ever go out, don't have Sky t.v., haven't had a holiday for a couple of years. Believe me there is nothing we can cut down on. We don't even have life or house insurance because we cannot afford it (yes I know that is silly but we honestly cannot afford it).

We get working tax credit (thank god or otherwise we would be even worse off) but have been told we do not qualify for housing benefit or any other benefit. We have asked to go on the council housing list but have been told there is really no point as we would not be entitled to anything. If we had children they would help, but we do not.

We would like to own our own house one day but that is just not likely as we cannot save a penny. We do not have a problem with renting except that it is not secure and landlords can (and usually do) put the rent up by substantial amounts. In the last 4 years we have lived in 3 houses and each time we have moved because the landlord wanted to put the rent up by 100 a month. The tenancy on our present house runs out at the end of this month and there is a good chance the landlord will want to increase the rent which we will not have a hope in hell of paying. If we refuse he will not renew the tenancy and what would happen then? We would have nowhere to live. I have asked the council if they would help in those circumstances and they have said they would not!

We have no-one to turn to, my parents live in a small flat and have no money and although my husband's parents are not poor they would never in a million years help us out.

Everything keeps going up, council tax, electric, gas etc and yet our wages hardly change from year to year. A couple of years ago we could afford a holiday (only a cheap self catering caravan in this country) but for the last 2 years we have not had one. We are definitely worse off than we were 2 years ago. I have sold everything I could on Ebay and Amazon, we have done boot fairs and I just don't know what else to do. I am looking for a second job but apart from the fact that it probably wouldn't make a great deal of difference moneywise, I don't really want to leave my dog any longer than he is left now. Also I work 12.00 to 19.00 so it would not be easy to find something else to fit in. My husband works long hours and is tired enough without working any more.

I am so worried and depressed at the moment. I have thought about going to the doctor but to be honest I cannot see the point of taking anti-depressants when the cause of my depression is still going to be there. Also the worry is taking a toll on my husband's health and I am very worried about him.

Is there anything we can do? We are seriously thinking of moving somewhere where rented accommodation is cheaper (someone has recommended Milton Keynes) but are not sure if this is a wise thing to do. We don't know what the work situation is like there and also we would be nearly 2 hours drive away from my parents who are quite elderly now so don't want to be too far away from them.

I am sorry this is so rambled but I am just feeling so desperate and fed up. I go to bed hoping I won't wake up and have to face another day of worry.

wishingonastar_3

monkeychops,

big big hugs to you.
firstly get yourself to the doctor, antidepressants won't make your problems go away, but will make you more able to cope with themi am sure.
try and post an soa, so we can have a look, there might be something you have missed that we can help with or be able to suggest jiggling things round to make things more bearalbe.

i can;t imagine how low you must feel, but theres lots of people on here who will be along to help shortly,

love and big big hugs,

woas.

Broken_hearted

monkeychops wrote:

I am so worried and depressed at the moment. I have thought about going to the doctor but to be honest I cannot see the point of taking anti-depressants when the cause of my depression is still going to be there. Also the worry is taking a toll on my husband's health and I am very worried about him.



.

This bit really got to me as it's how I feel. I don't think being numbed from my emotions would help. Life gets on top of us all at times and you are right the cost of living only ever goes up, but we have to be possitive and treasure what we do have. Tons of hugs comimg your way.

milliejon

Monkeychops I'm not very good at saying the right thing - but I feel for you. I was depressed (and felt like not wanting to wake up) because of financial worries and the Dr and my hubby managed to talk me into taking anti-depressents. True, they won't make the problem go away, but they will make to feel much more able to cope with your problem.

Sorry I don't have any constructive advice (I'll leave that to those much more knowledgeable about these things).

:grouphug:

BlondeHeadOn

Oh monkeychops, that is so sad - I can't do anything but send you virtual hugs! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I'm sure someone else will be along soon to offer you more constructive advice, but just wanted to say hang on in there. And keep posting on this site, it is a great community and I'm sure someone will be able to help.

xx

needmoney

can't help with advice but sending this x I googled for a caring hug

earwig

hi milton kynes is about 10 miles from us and belive me the rents are not cheep the avarge 2/3 bedhouse is about 600/800 depending on garden and size and location eg a two bed with small garden ex councill you could get for 600 but a two bedroom private house would cost 700 so i dont see you saving money that way but they are building all the time there so im sure jobs are out there i rent too and i have kids and the council wont house us as we are allready housed dosnt matter if we cant aford the rent or not our landlord hasnt put our rent up in three years but when he dose i will tell him we cant aford it so ether leave the rent as it is or evict us then the councill will have to house us have you tried housing assications as they have propertys to rent a bit dearer than council rents many have smaller list for one bed properts and they usally have a garden so you should stand a good chance of getting one if not when one of you reach 60 try the councill again they have smaller list for smaller propertys for the over 60s so they should help you then i didnt know about this list untill my mum had new neighbours they had been on the list for years they had a two bedhouse which they had brought and couldnt aford anyway cut a long story short once the lady had turned sixty four weeks after the councill had phoned then and offered them a one bed bunglow the lady had told me that when she had turned sixty she had been moved automacitcal from the normal housing list onto the over sixtys so they sold there house and have a nice councill place now hope this helps

melt71

Hi Monkeychops, sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment.

It does sound like your rent is the only thing that could be cut down. If you moved to the suburbs of a bigger city it would probably be a lot cheaper. I used to rent out my 2 bed terrace in Manchester (north) and it was £250 per month. The area was grotty though, it's not somewhere that is a pleasure to home from work to. HOWEVER, in towns/cities the work situation is usually very good. I was never out of work in Manchester and neither were any of my friends - skilled and unskilled. Forget town/city centres as they are now extremely expensive. Not sure what you do for a living but there are plenty of unskilled jobs around.

I'm not trying to flog Manchester as the answer by the way, it was just an example of how a busy town/city may be more realistic in terms of rent/wages ratio. If you live down south it may be worth trying to find the local paper and websites for larger towns, some of them whilst not desirable areas are still really expensive - especially if they are within commuting distance of London. Check out the general cost of living; homes, petrol etc then start looking for jobs - what do they pay in that area and are they plentiful or not.

It's a big step moving to a completely different area, I've done it myself, but it sounds like you don't really have a choice. Good luck.

monkeychops

Thanks for the replies and the hugs! Makes me feel a bit better.

Earwig, I am surprised rents are that high in Milton Keynes. I looked on the internet today at houses for sale there and they seemed quite a bit lower than where we are now (Essex). May not be such a good idea then.

Don't really want to move away at all and definitely not further than Milton Keynes. I know places like Liverpool, Manchester and Newcastle probably have cheaper rented places but as I say we don't want to live that far from my parents.

As to housing associations, I have been on the phone to quite a few and they say they can only consider you if you are on the council list. As I said before, the council will not accept us. Even if they did, it is still highly unlikely that we would qualify for a housing association place.

I really don't want to sound like a moaner. I do try and look on the bright side. We are both healthy and have each other and our dog. I am always cheerful at work - no-one there has a clue about my life and that's the way I intend it to stay. I am sure they think I am quite a happy go lucky person as I am very good at putting a front on. It's just that I don't see an end to the problems - in fact they will only get worse as everything goes up. I just don't know how other low paid people manage. I don't wish to buy designer clothes or go out every night but enough money to pay the bills and maybe a night out once in a while or a holiday every couple of years would be nice.

lynzpower

Monkeychops.

YOU CAN BE ON THE LIST at your LA housing office. Just dont say that you are homeless as you are not, just say you are putting your name down on the waiting list until then you will rent. Your not asking for accomodationl, simply being on the list. It can be confusing, I had the samething to get my shared ownership flat I had to be on my councils waiting list. there was a bit of confusion about it, but in the end if you dont want accomodation now they have to by law put your name on the list if you request ( not if you are asylum seeker though or other visa related quereis)

Emmzi

Not sure which part of essex you are in, but here's the harlow policy - if you do a google search on 'getting a council house' and whatever part you live in, you'll find your local authority guidelines.

It does clearly state on this one everyone over 18 can register, with exclusions as noted by Lynz above.

What do you have to lose by getting your name on the list?

http://www.harlow.gov.uk/pdf/Allocation%20Policy%20incl%20bandings%20Feb2006.pdf