Inappropriate???

PrincessPlaty

I moved into my current property in June this year, it is a 2 bed house through a private landlord no agent involved.

I live on my own with my 2 children and am currently 5 and a half months pregnant. OH works away so im left to pretty much do everything myself.

The landlord has been pretty good so far and has come round and helped to do things that i wouldnt have been able to do such as put mirrors up for me and moving heavy furniture, i have never asked him to do any of this he has just offered.

There are still outstanding repairs in the property that i reported when i first moved in that havent been done despite the fact that he is able to do these other things for me.

Today when he came round to sort out the skylights in my bathroom which wont open whilst he was here i asked him if he could remove the existing toilet seat as i had a brand new one to go on there (the existing one was really manky when i moved on) i had attempted to do it myself but couldnt get my hand underneath it enough to undo the bolts it is a built in toilet.
So he did that for me but had to cut the screws down to size for the new one, i could have done this myself and only asked him to remove the existing toilet seat not put the new one aswell. The skylights have still not been sorted.

As he was leaving he went to kiss me on the cheek i didnt know what to do and just sort of pulled away (he is greek so i know that sort of thing is quite normal for them) but i made it quite clear that it made me feel uncomfortable by pulling away.

He has since text me saying 'im knackered now' he has never text me in this way before it has only ever been about when he is coming to do repairs, or i have text him to let him know i have transferred the rent into his account so that he is expecting it.

So my question is am i the only one to find his behaviour inappropriate? And further more what do i do about it?

Please help im quite stuck on this one

McKneff

Yes, very inappropriate under the circumstances.

If possible in future i would have a friend with me if he has to come and do any repairs (and get a definit time from him when is coming) or wait till your husband comes home and get him to do the repairs.

Yuk, i fully understand what you mean by innapropriate.

I wouldnt text him at all, just let him find out for himself that is money is in the bank.

PrincessPlaty

Thats the thing that concerns me is that i did have a friend here with me :eek:

silverchair

I would have been quite freaked out if a male landlord attempted to kiss me on the cheek. Not sure what else you can do. I suppose you gave him the message about it not being OK by pulling away.

As with saying about the major repairs, I suppose you should have refused his earlier offers of helping you to move heavy stuff & waited for a friend or your husband to do this for you. As it seems to me he has gone out of his way to help you with the more immediate things & there is only 24 hrs in the day for which he can do everything.

Could your husband not use some of his annual leave to help you with moving heavy furniture or maybe pay the removal men to do this for you.

I would not have mentioned the toilet seat if I wanted the skylights to be done. Just stick with the most important issues that need fixing. Like I said there are only 24hrs in a day & the other stuff he's doing isnt his responsiblilty

PrincessPlaty

I understand what you are saying but he turned up to fix the skylights without a ladder he then went 'round the corner' to get his ladder saying he had left it at another tenants house as her sister had asked to borrow it. When he came back with no ladder the tenant apparently said that her sister had it and then the sister said that she never borrowed it

I had asked him previously about the toilet seat but he hadnt done it so while he was here not doing anything when he had come to the skylights without a ladder i asked him to remove the existing toilet seat.

If he had no intention of doing the skylights then why was he here?
If he did intend on doing the skylights why did he not bring a ladder with him when he turned up?

princessamy86

I can't be of much use to you, but I would definitely change the lock barrel in your situation. Make sure you retain the existing barrel, but I wouldn't be happy with him having a key. The other thing is to make sure your husband or a big looking male friend is with you next time he comes round, just to reinforce the message that you are not a lone helpless female. Awful situation, hope you get it resolved.

Agbe

Has he said or done anything that disturbs you, since your last text exchange?

From the information you've given, I completely understand why you might feel freaked out.

I have to say, though, coming from a Mediterrean family myself, this kind of thing is quite possibly totally harmless. From some perspectives, the English are unusually unfriendly. (Not at all saying I agree with that, and as I said, I totally understand why you might be freaked, but it might very well not be anything threatening.) He might just be being friendly, or he might be trying something more; but even if he is trying something more, it doesn't necessarily mean he'll be a threat or anything like that.

You can make yourself clear by refusing to respond to any texts or any other forms of communication that are not directly related to your tenancy. If he ignores that and persists, then there might be a problem. But he might well get the hint.

You do need to feel safe and comfortable in your own home, but there's no need (I think) as yet, to assume that he's some kind of threat. As I said, if he persists despite your ignoring him, then worry. But he might not.

Welshwoofs

I think I may be in the minority here because I don't see anything wrong with it. I kiss people I know on both cheeks French style. If you had a friend with you whilst he was round and did this then you'll probably just find that he feels he knows you well enough to cheek kiss.

I do tend to think that as a culture, us British are a little 'stand offish' and protective of our personal space when it comes to this sort of thing. I'm pretty used to cheek kissing with friends, but have been caught off guard myself when attending a party held by Nigerians and people I didn't know kept giving me big bear hugs.

Unless he's done something else which suggests he's trying to become more than friends I really wouldn't worry about it.

Angelhales2601

Yeah, this is why whenever I have workmen in I ALWAYS have either a couple of female friends or a male friend here.

Definately change the barrell on the lock as like said above really dont think you want him having a key.

does he know you have a husband or does he think your alone?

As its private I guess there really isnt much you can do other than contact the police if harressment gets worse?!

PrincessPlaty

Thanks Agbe, thats what i was thinking i spent a lot of time in Cyprus when i was growing up and come across a lot of greeks in my time and thought that may well be the case, however as you said it did make me feel uncomfortable.

I havent replied to the last text that he sent and i dont intend to, i wont reply to anything that isnt related to the tenancy in anyway.

What can i do if it does go beyond this though, just so that im prepared. I really dont want to have to up and move again what with baby on the way etc, and did intend on staying here for a good few years as he is well aware. However i dont think i will be able to if this continues/gets worse.

I think i will definatly be changing the barrel to the lock that would make me feel a lot better, though i do always put the latch down on the lock when i am at home on my own anyway.

I have a friends dog staying with me at the moment who doesnt like men and he is well aware the dog is here and saw how the dog reacted to him when he came round today (i had to shut the dog outside even though he was muzzled) so im hoping that might put off any unwelcome visits when he may let himself in but as it stands this is only a temporary arrangement not a permanant one.

Agbe

PrincessPlaty: have PM'd you.