lodger advice - help

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Just my two pennorth and hope it helps.
You wanted a lodger. If I was a lodger I would not expect to do anything around the house, and if my landlady gave me use of the common reception, kitchen and bathroom areas I would clean/tidy up after myself but no more. I wouldn't expect to store belongings in the shed unless implicit or explicit permission had been given and indication of which bit of the shed was for my storage. I certainly wouldn't expect to buy washing up liquid, toilet rolls etc.
Sounds tough, doesn't it? That's why I think you've got yourself a housemate - in both your mind and in his.
Maybe it will help if you think about what the differences are between a lodger and a housemate which should help you to decide which of them you want.
As for the rent - tell him it's due at x o'clock on a Friday night and if he can't make that time to leave it on the hall table with his rent book before he leaves the house on Friday morning.

beanielou

I used to expect mine to look after thier room and tidy up behind themselves in kitchen.
It is easier if you lay down a few groundrules but a way round that is to just start having 5 mins or so to iron out any probs once a week or so.
I dont expect them to provide basics as include that in rent.
As someone else said only what lodger can have in their room onless otherwise agreed.
The joys.............Think of the £££!!
HTH

MrsTinks

I've been a lodger and a house sharer in the past so this is my 2 pennies worth As a house sharer then half of everything was my responcibility. I bought my own food and washed my own clothes and did half the cleaning.
As a lodger I helped with the cleaning, kept my own room semi tidy (lol) and as I lodged with friends both times, I helped with the cooking and so on. But... that is just me I would feel guilty havign others do everything for me and it works so much better if you share the chores I find. Better harmony and all that

BUT I think you need to set the rules you want and that matter to you. Ultimately this is YOUR house and that's it. However I think you need to make clear which things you are willing to be flexible about and which you are not. Paying rent late - NOT, the cleaning - a little more flexible... etc. But you need to decide at what point does this lodger become more stress than he is worth for you? Yes you could end up with someone worse but so long as you set up a proper agreement first I very much doubt it And let's face it... You could find yourself with a very good and experienced lodger who is used to helping out etc and find your life a LOT easier

As for the storing of stuff then it's one thing if he asked to store stuff... if he didn't then tell him that you a) need the shed etc b) think as he's using the whole shed he should be paying for the storage (a storage room at a secure place starts at £5 for a small box per week... so shed size about £10-15 per week...).

My gut instinct? Find a way to politely get rid of your friend/lodger and find another lodger who probably will pay more and be easierto be around as the ground rules are clearer

ms_london

skintchick wrote:

she hasn;t changed her bed for months so I have done it today while she is out!!! But I do leave the hoover outside her room, and say 'I did the rest of the housse and I thought you'd like to do your room'

Did you really change her sheets? I cant believe that Skintchick!! Surely its up to her when she does/doesnt change her sheets? Also with the hoovering, I think its up to her when she does/doesnt hoover her room? Obviously before she moves out the room would need to be spotless, but I dont think its up to you when she does the cleaning of her room & how often!! I seem to recall that you bought the bedding for the room? I can kind of understand that you want them to be kept in good condition, but it seems a bit of a invasion of space to me (sorry hun!!).

ms_london

If sky/broadband is included, then definately put the bills up. Obviously I dont know what rental prices for a room are like in your area, but perhaps you could do some research to see what other people are charging.. Even if the house is in need of doing up, £200 a month still sounds cheap to me..

I share a flat with 2 other girls. We split the bills 3 ways, and put £5 a month into a kitty for communal things (loo roll, cleaning products etc), but I share milk with one of the girls (the other one has yucky skimmed milk), and we do share teabags. We have a good relationship though. And if someone buys milk one week, I'll get it the next and so on....

Does your lodger not have a tv in his/her room? I suggest he buys one. It would enfuriate me if he was watching yours all of the time (but thats my pet hate!!) - and definately when it comes to having people stay over (esp if in the lounge) then he should check with you. We still check with each other, even though we share the whole flat - its common decency I suppose...

Thankfully we all pull our weight/take turns in doing washing up/putting rubbish out etc!!

I can definately recommend www.thegumtree.com - its fab!! I've rented all of my rooms through this site, and found people to share with (also jobs too!!).

Let us know how you get on.

xx

BrokeBrunette

I know this is probably a cheeky question but how much does he actually pay you a week? Do you feel it's enough for what he is getting from you in terms of living space etc?

Casual

When I was reading your OP I thought it was mine!!

I find it really hard to confront my lodger on certain issues (the ones you mention mainly) so I bought an official Lease pack from WHSmiths and used that as the basis for a discussion.

It's a legally binding document and covers all the regular things - rent amount, when paid etc, when to review the rental agreement etc etc It was just a really useful tool to use as a conversation starter. It also brought up things like toile rolls and the like. We take it in turns to bu a big pack of toilet rolls and it's easy to remember whose turn it is.

The only thing that I have problems with now is the washing up - he does it but just not that well. But, if that's alll the problems I have then I consider myself lucky.

My biggest advice to you is get him to pay his rent as a standing order or DD into your account every week. If he has the money then he can't argue with it. It saves you having to ask for it and just means that one thing is completely taken care of. Especially when you don't have a deposit from him.

My lodger is a friend I have know for a long time and although we're friends I still have to be a little formal about some things. It just makes everything else easier. I mean, when there's no hard feeling or awkwardness we can watch ER with a glass of wine and really enjoy each others company! I think if I had to ask for rent every week that level of friendship would just disintegrate!

Good luck!

climbgirl

I think you might have created a bit of a rod for your own back here by leaving it so long to set some groundrules...

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the rent to be paid on time, or to be told about people who are staying over. And that should be a fairly straightforward conversation to have!

The other issues like cleaning and hogging of the tv are more grey areas and you're going to have to decide just how important they are to you or if you can let them go a bit. You didn't lay down the groundrules from the start, it's not going to be easy to change tack now.

Maybe I'm missing an important shareflat/lodger distinction here, but lodgers still have a certain amount of rights, they are paying to live there after all! There has to be a little bit of give and take and they are due a certain amount of privacy. I can't believe that someone would go in and change a lodger's sheets without even asking first - what a massive invasion of privacy! I'd be absolutely mortified if my housemates did that!

I'd work out just how important the cleaning/tv issues are to you - you have to realise that when you share with anybody, there are going to be things that you don't like about it and that you have to let go, but thats the price you pay for the extra cash. As you say, he's a known quantity, isn't a party animal etc. Being slack on the cleaning front might not be all that bad compared to some nightmare housemates!

jesster_2

I am in a similar situation to you. I have housemates / lodgers, and I own the house, and it's the first time I've done this. It's a bit of a minefield, isn't it? The way I look at it, it's a bit like managing any other people, or even children (stick with it!).

You can't rightfully get annoyed with them for breaking a rule, unless they know the rule's there in the first place. I'd suggest giving him a chance to get into line, before going through the trauma and possible lost earnings of getting rid of him and replacing him.

BUT: If there's something annoying you, then you need to do something about it because otherwise very quickly it'll eat away at you and become a real sore point. And I think the key thing to remember is: he's being inconsiderate, not wilfully objectionable. Therefore, he probably doesn't realise how annoying it is. And maybe if you say something it wouldn't have occured to him, but he'll then know to sort his behaviour.

Imagine: You say: "would you like free sky in your room?"
You mean: "Grr! Please can you stop watching it in the living room all the time!"
He thinks you mean: "would you like free sky in your room?"

It can sometimes really be as straightforward as that. Once you point it out to them, they realise, and you give them a chance to change it.

I think it's definitely an idea to 'take the lead' subtly in terms of what happens in the house.

1) If you don't think he does enough cleaning, tell him you're thinking of increasing his rent to help pay for a cleaner, because the two of you clearly aren't able to keep on top of it. Either then you get a cleaner, or he realises you consider it a shared responsibility and you make your point.

2) If he keeps having friends over, why don't you pointedly say to him: 'I'm planning on having some friends over, you don't mind do you?' To which he'll say: "course not", or "you don't need to ask" or whatever, at which point you can say, lightly: "I knew it would be ok, but obviously it's polite to ask". Again, you make your point.

Another option is to get a blow up mattress, so that you can say "here's our new spare bed, so that your friends can stay in your room rather than having to take over the living room". Again, you make your point and give him a chance to sort it out.

3) Definitely tell him that you need the shed back. You're doing work on the house, you need the space, and while you didn't mind going outside the normal lodger agreement and letting him use the shed in the first place, you now need it back. That's totally fair enough.

You wrap all this up in some positive stuff about what you're doing to get the house in order, so that it doesn't all sound like criticism, and how because of that you're keeping the rent increase as low as possible. (coded message: you've got a good deal here, so shape up or deal with it!)

If you point all this out, and things still don't change, then you're in a legitimate position to have words. But in my experience, unless people are generally unreasonable, they respond to knowing the rules. And if they ARE generally unreasonable, then you don't want to live with them.

lynzpower

Inclined to agree with you climbgirl there.

I wouldnt DREAM of going in my lodgers room and changing thier sheets :eek: Might pop in and get some glasses or cups type thing when im doing the washing up, but nothing more than that.

I dont think there is much difference between lodging & housesharing, aside from the fact that if the flat needs something ( eg a new kitchen bin) then the homeowner buys it, not the tenant, and the costs for stuff like this isnt split.

Im getting a minitelly in my bedroom ( hope to get one from the carboot) so if she wants to watch something she can. If she wants to have her mates over for a bbq, she can, if she wants to have a llong bath she can etc. She is paying good money which I am extremely grateful for and Id rather make these tiny sacrifices than not have the money.