too scared to tell hubby about debts

tesuhoha

I was in a similar position to you, a while ago when my OH didnt realise how bad the debts were because I was the one who handled the money. I approached the subject slowly by breaking the news in a gradual way. First I asked him how much he thought we owed and when he said the figure I said actually its a bit more than that, its ... and he said OMG and accused me of mishandling the money but at least it was out in the open. Its not your fault if you lost your job. Surely he would understand?

zoopygirl

I don't want to make him out to be an awful person he's really lovely and I think that makes it worse. I really would like to be able to have started to do something about it so when I tell him at least he knows I'm trying to get out of this mess. Do you think a debt advice agency would be the best place to start, you are all being so good about it I think with support I can start to sort this mess out. Thank you all so much just being able to talk to someone about it sort of helps.

tesuhoha

You seem to have a fair amount coming in. Personally, I would pay off the Argos first as its a relatively small amount and should be easy for you to do and it has a very high APR. If you cant pay it off then try to BT the amount to a 0% card.

tesuhoha

Dont know what youre paying on your catalogue but that is also a relatively small amount that you could get rid off. Then your debts wont look so bad.

tesuhoha

Though looking at it again £8000 on 29% is horrendous. You have to try to get that shifted. I would apply for 0% cards, but not all at once. If you can get £8000 all at once on 0% it would be nice, but if not maybe you could move it over gradually. I find with my 0% cards the balance goes down a lot more quickly. It is very satisfying.

zoopygirl

I have tried to get 0% cards but have been refused, I do pay my bills but sometimes they are a day or 2 late so I think it has affected my rating or could it be because I have got so much debt already. I am finding it harder to reach the payments every month, I have used commission from the catalogues as payment this month so that has helped, I am going to have a good clear out today and throw all the catalogues away. The balance on the credit card never goes down and at £152 a month as minimum payment I can't manage to pay any more!

scholt

I would look at reducing you food bill (is there just the 2 of you - coul realistically get it down to £160), and losing the Sky TV - it is a luxury and you don't need it.

Obviously both those things will be tough without telling your husband first However he is your husband and he might allready have an idea - especially if you are pacing around at night!

This way you would have an extra £200 ish a month to throw at your debts

Also visit http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx to calculate which of your debts to pay first...

Hope that helps - chin up :grouphug:

moggins

After reading your SOA it looks like you only have one child, I presume that is what the £68 benefit is for? If you stepped over to the Old Style board then you could cut at least £100 off your food bill That would give you a huge chunk to start overpaying your CC.

Plus you're paying £60 per month for phones, that seems very high, is it possible to cancel Sky and go for one of the three in one packages that Telewest/NTL are offering where you get tv, phone and broadband for £30 per month? Also if you switched to Tesco value mobile the text costs are 5p each and if you top up automatically online it give you 10% discount so you only pay £9 for £10 worth of airtime.

miaxmia

Do you really need to spend that much on a mobile phone each month? If you can't afford it, then a pay as you go mobile is all you need for emergencies and for other people to contact you. Also, if you can't afford it, do you need to be spending that much on Sky each month?

Bunnyinthelights

Zoopygirl,
I was in the exact siutation as you-except that I owe DOUBLE what you do and my husband didn't know about any of it-I lived a lie for years and was making myself ill from the deception. All I can tell you is that you really MUST tell him. I am doing a DMP with CCCS and paying it all back myself but for the first time in my entire adult life, I am no longer afraid. It was horrible when I told him-we talked about divorce and splitting up and he was naturally devastated BUT now, we are stronger than we have ever been and things are getting sorted. Our relationship is better than it has ever been as well. Don't get me wrong, there are still some REALLY crap days but nothing can compare to the fear, stress and heartache that I was living before.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat some more.
Bunny