too scared to tell hubby about debts

zoopygirl

Hi I have more money going out than I have coming in - about £25,000 and am now starting to lose sleep, I am too scared to tell my hubby about this as he would go totally mad. How can I sort myseld out without him finding out, I have a full time job with my own bank account. PLEASE HELP

Wizwoo

Hello zoopygirl,

Welcome and big hugs :grouphug: - you've made the first move and admitted to yourself that you've got a problem.

There will be others on here that can really help with the money side - but I guess the first thing is where does your money go? Could you post what's called a SOA i.e. statement of affairs, or list you incomings and your outgoings each month and let us all on here see where we can help you out.

The first steps are always the worst ones x

Emmzi

Zoopy,

go to the thread at top of the page (under 'sticky' - called first time posters) and post your SOA so the good folks here can understand your position in more detail.

I am sure there will be some good advice, but we need to know more first.

Sallys_Savings

It may be scarey telling your hubby of your debts, and he may be shocked/angry/upset when you initially tell him....but afterwards he may help you sort this out? Its alot of money and worry to try and sort out on your own zoopygirl..like they say a problem shared is a problem halved?? Think about telling him? Don't make yourself ill with trying to keep this from him.
You've done the right step coming onto this website....the help and advice on here is invaluable. From the little things like selling on ebay/car boots to the best mortgage deals.
I'm by no means an expert like many on here...but I just wanted to wish you support and good luck on the journey clearing this debt.
Hopefully someone will come along soon with ideas (I believe there was a lady a few weeks ago, with the exact same problem ..so take a look and you may be able to find it)
Good luck zoopygirl

zoopygirl

OK big deep breath here goes, this is the information I have at the minute

Monthly Incomings:

My salary - £778
Partners salary - £1300
Benefits - £68

Total - £2146

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £180
Council Tax - £89
Gas - £25
Electric - £35
TV License - £10.99
Sky £45.99
Phone - £35.40
Food - £300
Car Insurance - £30
Petrol - £80
Life Insurance £20
Mobile phone - £32.50

total - 781.88

Total Debts

Credit Card - £8000 APR 29%
Tesco Loan - £14000 APR 8.9% 6 years left
Argos Card - £1200 APR 29%
Catalogues -£500
Overdraft - £1750


Total: £25,450

I could be sick looking at all of that, I am desperate to get out of debt I dread letters coming through the door and hide them from my hubby. I will try and muster the courage to talk to him about it but he is so good with money I'm frightened he won't understand. I'm going to look for the thread from the other lady with the same problem. Thank you all so much for your support x

tesuhoha

Hope you dont mind me asking this, but doesnt your hubby know about the Tesco loan? What was it for? If he is so good with money why are you in such a mess? Are you a spendoholic or something? Sorry for all the questions but I cant help but wonder where all this debt came from.

AuctionMan_2

Do you split the outgoings? Which are you responsible for?

First thing is the credit card APR's are high, can they be swapped to 0% cards so that what you pay off is actually paying off the debt not just interest..

Goldilox

I think you should tell your husband....he'll be far more angry if he finds out years down the line. He will probably be good support in helping you to clear your debts too! P.S CUT UP YOUR CREDIT CARDS!

zoopygirl

To be honest he knows there are debts just not the extent of them, I lost my job a a couple of years ago due to ill health but am back working again now, a lot of this was stupidity on my behalf thinking I could cope but obviously I couldn't. He pays the mortgage, and main utility bills out of his bank account the loan, credit card, overdraft, store card is paid out of mine. As you can see I am not good with money at all but have been trying the past few months to sort myself out, I really just need some help.

zoopygirl

I have cut the credit card up thank you

zoopygirl

OK big deep breath here goes, this is the information I have at the minute

Monthly Incomings:

My salary - £778
Partners salary - £1300
Benefits - £68

Total - £2146

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £180
Council Tax - £89
Gas - £25
Electric - £35
TV License - £10.99
Sky £45.99
Phone - £35.40
Food - £300
Car Insurance - £30
Petrol - £80
Life Insurance £20
Mobile phone - £32.50

total - 781.88

Total Debts

Credit Card - £8000 APR 29%
Tesco Loan - £14000 APR 8.9% 6 years left
Argos Card - £1200 APR 29%
Catalogues -£500
Overdraft - £1750


Total: £25,450

I could be sick looking at all of that, I am desperate to get out of debt I dread letters coming through the door and hide them from my hubby. I will try and muster the courage to talk to him about it but he is so good with money I'm frightened he won't understand. I'm going to look for the thread from the other lady with the same problem. Thank you all so much for your support x