Rant about family

TheEffect

I've been on the phone to my mum. She's fuming and said she's going to get the money off her today. They've just left to pick her up from the airport.

I just phoned my brother as well as I'm sick of living in a !!!! hole. I said he hasn't done anything since mum left, his friends keep me up every night, he still hasn't cleaned the downstairs toilet and his friends slept in my mums room last night when she's specifically told him not to let anyone in her room.

He just replied 'Go grass me up to mum then like you did for Saturday', I said 'Why don't we grow up a little bit and talk to eachother rather then ringing mum constantly'... he just started swearing and put the phone down on me...

I'm sick of this. Everyone treats me like a mug. I'd do anything for any of my friends/family, and most throw it straight back in my face.

I'm going to a pub tonight with some friends. I am going to get truly ratassed and drown some sorrows.

Katie-Kat-Kins

You are being taken for a mug, learn to be more assertive and stop letting your family walk all over you. Sign up for assertiveness training if necessary as I bet you get taken advantage of at work and college too.

Sounds like maybe you have learnt this from a weak and ineffectual mother (from the way she deals with your brother) so it will be an uphill struggle but you can change.

Start by phoning your cousin and telling her that you can't afford to loose £200 and you booked that flight for her in good faith. Tell her that her failure to pay you back is causing you difficulty with your bills and you need it within 7 days or you will start adding interest and bank charges to it daily (who cares if it is a lie she is a nasty cow who needs teaching a lesson - she should have booked it herself or stayed put). Follow through if you don't get the money, shame her with all family and friends and add on interest to the loan and put it in writing that you are passing on the charges you are incurring and the amount will increase until she pays.

Start standing up to your brother, stop cleaning up for him, stop putting up with him. If he keeps you awake with his music ask him once nicely to turn it off, once more forcefully and then if he still ignores you cut the plug off his stereo, take the batteries out or take the fuse out of the fuse box. If he leaves his crap around, put it in his bed.

Refuse to be a dorrmat and you will be much happier with yourself.

lynzpower

If he leaves his crap around, put it in his bed.

Yeah Id have done this too, along with the dog poo and some old beer bottles. What a trog he is.

dizzybuff

Maybe you could stem to a severed pigs head nice and cheap from a butchers near you

TheEffect

KatP wrote: »

You are being taken for a mug, learn to be more assertive and stop letting your family walk all over you. Sign up for assertiveness training if necessary as I bet you get taken advantage of at work and college too.

Sounds like maybe you have learnt this from a weak and ineffectual mother (from the way she deals with your brother) so it will be an uphill struggle but you can change.

Start by phoning your cousin and telling her that you can't afford to loose £200 and you booked that flight for her in good faith. Tell her that her failure to pay you back is causing you difficulty with your bills and you need it within 7 days or you will start adding interest and bank charges to it daily (who cares if it is a lie she is a nasty cow who needs teaching a lesson - she should have booked it herself or stayed put). Follow through if you don't get the money, shame her with all family and friends and add on interest to the loan and put it in writing that you are passing on the charges you are incurring and the amount will increase until she pays.

Start standing up to your brother, stop cleaning up for him, stop putting up with him. If he keeps you awake with his music ask him once nicely to turn it off, once more forcefully and then if he still ignores you cut the plug off his stereo, take the batteries out or take the fuse out of the fuse box. If he leaves his crap around, put it in his bed.

Refuse to be a dorrmat and you will be much happier with yourself.

At my old job, I was the guy who you went to if you wanted something done that nobody else would do... I admit that I'm a walkover and hate saying no. I just like pleasing people. It's the way I am, and give most people the benefit of doubt.

The thing with his friends is, for example, last night he had 1 male friend and 2 females around. If I go down and tell them all to keep quiet, all I get is 'join in, stop being a boring sod'. I don't want to join in with anything my brother does. He's selfish, me myself and I and I can't stand him. They just all laugh if I go and tell them to shut up...

I need to man up a bit, I know.... :rotfl:

January20

TheEffect wrote: »

At my old job, I was the guy who you went to if you wanted something done that nobody else would do... I admit that I'm a walkover and hate saying no. I just like pleasing people. It's the way I am, and give most people the benefit of doubt.

The thing with his friends is, for example, last night he had 1 male friend and 2 females around. If I go down and tell them all to keep quiet, all I get is 'join in, stop being a boring sod'. I don't want to join in with anything my brother does. He's selfish, me myself and I and I can't stand him. They just all laugh if I go and tell them to shut up...

I need to man up a bit, I know.... :rotfl:

I think it's brilliant that you are such a nice guy and you are willing to help others but.... it also means that you are very likely to be taken for a ride and people will not have respect for you because in their head you are a push over.

You know now never to lend your cousin any money. If she asks again in the future just say "no". It's amazing the power of this little word and yet how difficult it is to utter (I'm not being patronising - more reflecting on my use of it this summer with my 16 yo dd lol).

As for your brother, I suspect that you moaning at him and his friends is quite amusing for him. Is there no-one with who you could move for a few days until your mum comes back? a friend? a family member? You would get peace and quiet and your brother would just have to live with the consequences of his actions regarding the houses, without your help to sort any mess out.

If I was your mother I would be incandescent to find out someone used my room whilst I was away when specifically told not to. A person's room is their sanctuary when they share a home!

I feel for you. I hope it gets better. And please start practising saying "no"

TheEffect

January20 wrote: »

I think it's brilliant that you are such a nice guy and you are willing to help others but.... it also means that you are very likely to be taken for a ride and people will not have respect for you because in their head you are a push over.

You know now never to lend your cousin any money. If she asks again in the future just say "no". It's amazing the power of this little word and yet how difficult it is to utter (I'm not being patronising - more reflecting on my use of it this summer with my 16 yo dd lol).

As for your brother, I suspect that you moaning at him and his friends is quite amusing for him. Is there no-one with who you could move for a few days until your mum comes back? a friend? a family member? You would get peace and quiet and your brother would just have to live with the consequences of his actions regarding the houses, without your help to sort any mess out.

If I was your mother I would be incandescent to find out someone used my room whilst I was away when specifically told not to. A person's room is their sanctuary when they share a home!

I feel for you. I hope it gets better. And please start practising saying "no"

I definitely have had a lightbulb moment and realized that everyones using me and thinks I'm a mug. As for the rooms, when my brother had a house party last Saturday, I stayed in a travelodge (I forked out £50 to stay there) as I didn't want to be involved. I told him no one is to go in my room at all, he asured me they wouldn't. I came back the next day and someone had got shaving foam and it was on my bed, on tissues in my room, they had the TV and xbox on as it was full volume with controls and games out, someone had burnt a cigarette hole in one of my work ties... you get the point, he just said 'noone stayed in your room, we just played the xbox for a bit, i'll get you a new tie (he wont)'.

Something also got spilt on the floor in my mothers room that night, so I have no idea who was in there.. my brother said it was him.. but he had no idea what he spilt...

I don't want to stay with anyone else really. I like being in my own house, having my own space. I shouldn't have to leave my house everytime I fall out with my brother.

I was looking at studios yesterday and I could afford to rent one, but I wouldn't be able to save for university, which is what this whole year is about.

Another thing I just remember was two weeks ago, I put a moped on ebay for my cousin and told him it was £8 to put it on... he never bothered bringing the money round, nor even thanking me to put it on there for him (someone phoned him as i put his mobile number on the auction and it sold outside of ebay that way).

I might go and see my dad for a few days next week... but I'm back to work on Friday, so was hoping for a nice peaceful week... :rotfl:

January20

Your brother sounds like a very immature, selfish and irresponsible person!

chatnoir

Your post reads like my life living at home with my brother. As soon as our parents went away that was it, strange people in the house talking loudly till all hours etc..even got so bad he was having prostitues in, and I;d regually come down in the morning and him and his "friends" would be snorting cocaine of the dining table. It only ended when he physically attacked me one night and I told our parents all that had happened and he got kicked out!
He is now 27, has a little girl and we see each other occasionaly. He has never apologised for all the stuff he did we are just expected to let it go.

We treat stangers we bump into on the street better then we treat our family sometimes. sadly that is the way some people are and you just have to live your life around them. The more you moan at them the less they will listen and the more they will do there own thing. Just play them at there own game...if your brother is up all night with friends he must be sleeping in quite late in the morning...play some music really load....have a friend come round and sleep in his bed. Any rubbish he leaves behind put it in black sacks and then dump it on his bed!

TheEffect

Great. A housing officer has just turned up asking to speak to my mother. I told them she's away for a week, and they've left a form saying they're be back on the 17th to talk to her about Council Tax Benefit to make sure her claim is correct....

I have no idea what any of that is, but it doesn't sound too good.