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The ultimate incentive proposed! Buying a house, a wedding, and staying debt free.

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  • Hi all!

    Hi NIM - sorry your mother is being such a pain in the a***. I'm sure I have mentioned that we got married abroad. My MIL got a bit stroppy about the guest list cos we were only inviting one set of aunt/uncle from OH's side. OH told her (and quite rightly too) that he never saw any other relatives, we weren't close to them, and they weren't coming. End of.

    She didn't threaten the 'Well then I am not coming card' but when she got to the weddding she tried to cause lots of trouble and we didn't speak to her for a couple of months. In no way did she ruin the day for us but she was certainly a fly in the ointment a few days beforehand.

    My advice is to stand your ground and call her bluff. At the end of the day, if she is so stubborn that she won't attend her sons wedding then she has serious issues, a few mental health ones it would seem.

    She sounds a bit like my MIL - selfish and unable to aceept that she could be wrong in any way. I wonder if they are related!!! Lol - you don't have any aunts living in Galway do you!!!!! Ha ha!
    Total (Aug 19):€58,567 Now:€26,947
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  • N.I.M
    N.I.M Posts: 2,248 Forumite
    Their from south west limerick, near the border with cork. but you never know, they could be.

    I've called her bluff already. I've told her if she doesnt cop the h*** on then she can f*** off, I've never said that to her before but she just got me so mad. I dunno if its cause I'm overtired or I'm hungry or what but if I never hear from her again it'll be too soon atm. I am wondering if she is genuinly unwell mentally or what but I have no interest in being around her again.
    This was 6 months out of date so I've changed it.
    :j:j:j:j
  • I diagnosed my MIL as being a mild version of a sociopath. OH agreed with me! There are some wild women out there!
    Total (Aug 19):€58,567 Now:€26,947
    DFD:Nov 22/June 22
    Mortgage: €199,712
    MFD: March 2042/July 2034
  • Pilchard
    Pilchard Posts: 362 Forumite
    Hi everyone

    Dinah, sorry about the ring but hopefully you get it sorted soon. As for NIM's mother - well it looks like she'll never change and, to be honest, I'm starting to think like others on here, that maybe she a has form of mental health problem. The problem is, there's nothing that anyone can do unless she takes a step back and a proper look at herself. My exMIL was a bloody nightmare and reckoned he only married me cos no-one else would and actually hoped our plane crashed on the way to our honeymoon and that our honeymoon was a disaster cos she thought she wouldn't get any cigarettes from duty free. I did point out that if the plane crashed the other 2 events would be guaranteed! All you both can do is concentrate on everyone else's good wishes and on planning your wedding. Don't let her spoil it for you. It's the most important day in your life and it's your day. Enjoy all the planning and build up leading to the big day cos it all goes so quickly. As for MIL she has 2 choices......
    Let's start again (really need a kick up the bum now) :wall:
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  • Flower08
    Flower08 Posts: 4,771 Forumite
    Hi everyone.

    Sorry to hear that you have been having more troubles with your mum NIM - must be really rubbish for both of you. Makes me realise how lucky i am that i get on with OHs parents and he gets on with mine.

    Had a lovely birthday yesterday. OH got me a new ipod, my parents got me a laptop, OHs parents got me a new top and gave me some money and i got a fair amount of money off various other relatives - so i was very lucky!! OH even went through quidco for my ipod - hes learning bless!

    OH took me out for the day and then we went for a meal in the evening with his family, followed by meeting with some friends for [STRIKE]a few[/STRIKE] a lot of drinks (and the horrible 'friend' was there, but she was ok i guess).
    Biggest Loser Weight Loss: 13 / 20 lb
  • wendz86
    wendz86 Posts: 7,171 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Glad you had a good birthday Flower- sounds like some lovely pressies!

    Hope NIM and Dinah are relatively stress me right now, it is not what you want when you want to be enjoying your engagment
  • Birdie85
    Birdie85 Posts: 9,330 Forumite
    Hello everyone!

    What a manic day at work! I started at 8 and didn't get away until 5.30! I didn't stop all day, I hope it settles down quickly or I'll be having a breakdown! LOL!

    OH has gone back to work today, yay for the money but boo for me having to make my own dinner! I'll start to get lonely by the end of the week I reckon, he's not worked the whole time we've been living together so it's going to be odd getting used to being alone on an evening!

    Sorry to hear about the Monster In Law Dinah, I wish there was something I could do to fix the situation but sadly I can't! And I'm gutted for you about the ring! Hope you get it back soon!

    Happy belated birthday Flower!
    Overcome the notion that you must be ordinary. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary!
    Goal Weight 140lb Starting Weight: 160lb Current Weight 145lb
  • Poolie
    Poolie Posts: 1,882 Forumite
    edited 1 September 2009 at 8:14PM
    N.I.M wrote: »
    I need suggestions on how to calm down over this one, who knows a good relaxation method?

    Large amount of Wine should do it obviously for Dinah and not evil MIL!
  • I think MIL is acting like this as an initiation test!

    Seriously though, NIM, at the end of the day she will always be your Mum, but if she is upsetting you both on what should be one of the happiest occassions of your lives then just give up telling her things. Send her an invite when the time comes but try not to dwell on wether or not she will turn up...if she does so be it, it she doesn't then thats her decision, something that can never be thrown back in your face.
    Just my thoughts, families are funny things (or not so funny at times!):mad:

    TPAx
    MFW - We've only gone and blooming done it!
    May 2013:j
  • Send her an invite when the time comes but try not to dwell on wether or not she will turn up...if she does so be it, it she doesn't then thats her decision, something that can never be thrown back in your face.

    Very good advice from TPA I think - just do what you feel is right and behave in an acceptable manner and then at least you know you're not in the wrong. How are you both feeling after a decent night's sleep?

    I'm totally all energised this morning and ready to take on the mountains of work I have, it's a miracle! Just waiting for the caffeine high to wear off! :rolleyes:
    Weightloss: 14.5/65lb
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