Helping mum sort her funeral and will :(

Savvy_Sue

Another cheery thought is to look into setting up a Power of Attorney, so that if anything happens to disable you, a trusted person can register the power and take care of your affairs.

It is easier to do while you are still of sound mind than it is to do once you've started losing it.

Baggysdad

This leaflet talks you through ther different ways to go about making a Will.

http://www.ipw.org.uk/public/documents/IPWGuidetoMakingaWill.pdf

B

Francesanne

lindos90 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies, Ive had a quick look for funeral plans, and on balance the co-op plan looks the most flexible, they do a bronze, silver and gold level (different packages) my mum has called the local branch and got some prices, and they said someone can visit and show her leaflets etc.

She called me and said, "now then, if I get the silver one, that includes a car for family, do you want me to bother with that, im just wondering if you might be upset and not able to drive" brought tears to my eyes I can tell you.

I now know she wants to be cremated, and the co-op says they have records to show where her mums, (my nana) ashes were scattered at the crematorium, so she wants to go there too.

My mum lived in north wales once, she loved Colwyn bay, and I had always thought thats where I would take her ashes, so I will ask he when I see her, so she can decide what she wants.

Its 'nice' in a bazarre way that now she has mentioned this, that we can talk more openly, I just hope it is a very long time before any of this is needed.

Im having problems with the will side though, as involving a solicitor could be quite expensive, and i think their charges may swallow up most of her money, especially if they were executors as well as the will writers, (her estate will be quite simple, im the only child, she also has a brother, theres no property, just what bit she has in the bank and a small assurance poilcy (£1 a week) that she thinks may be about £1000. (I think she took this out years ago, when £1000 would have been more than enough for a funeral)

Looking on the web, wills seem to be a nightmare, lots of unregistered 'will writers' where there could be concerns about the quality/legality of the will. Many of these are documents filled in on-line, and I just could not sit with my mum and do this on my PC, I just couldnt.

Ive looked on the age concern and help the aged web sites, they have some advice, but mainly for people with lots of money (ie how to avoud inheritance tax etc)

Anyone got any recommendations?

You're Mum sounds a lovely sensible lady and may you have her for many years to come.

lindos90

Francesanne wrote: »

You're Mum sounds a lovely sensible lady and may you have her for many years to come.

Thank you, I certainly hope so.

Im going to pop into the co-op funeral place, age concern and help the aged, get as much info as I can, and give my mum everything when I see her on Wednesday and then she can deside herself from that information.

I dont mind dealing with it so much now, kind of got used to the idea and talking about it. I agree its better for her, as she has a say in what she wants and making the decisions, but also for me, as when the time comes I will not have all the practical decisions to make, as well as dealing with the emotional side of it.

When my husbands' parents died, (within a few months of each other), his two sisters delt with most of the arrangements (they still lived at home), we just made the ham sandwiches. They had a terrible time as neither parent had left a will, and there was not enough money to cover the cost of the funerals, so Im counting my blessings that I still have my mum, and that she is getting herself organised in this way.

RAS

lindos

Given the very small amount in your mother's estate, she may not even need a will and certainly a £80 ish session appointing you are executor would be all that is needed.

Please talk to the probate office as very small estates do not need to be registered for probate, so the will may not be needed.

lindos90

Hi everyone, just an update. By coincidence we went for a mortgage interview today at the co-op, and he was trying to sell lots of other products (like they do!) one of them being a simple will writing service for £85 +vat, and can be drawn up simply over the phone, which would be ideal for my mum! She can make all her choices independent of me, and sort it out herself, which she will like as she is so independently minded, which is one of the things that keeps her going.

barnaby-bear

lindos90 wrote: »

OK, here goes.... in the wake of my poor husband loosing both his parents suddenly within a few months, my 73 year old mum has decided to 'get her house in order' and has asked me to find out a few things for her.

She has apologised to me, as it is very difficult to discuss this sort of thing, but wants me to help. She also loves Martin Lewis, im always telling her about little gems I find on the forum. If she had a PC and her eyesight was better, she would be on here herself im sure!

Anyway, my mum wants to pay in advance for her funeral, and sort a will out, she wants no fuss, and to do it on a budget.

Can anyone give me any advice where to start?

Can I point out for others who might have relatives considering similar plans that if their estate is very small and they have very few savings and not well-off relatives that they are worried about burdening with funeral costs that in situations where neither the will-maker nor family are well off there may be help available http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Bereaved/DG_10018660 and that it may be inappropriate for the least well off to scrimp and save for their funeral and they should make sure they don't go without proper care, comfort, food etc
"A Funeral Payment includes necessary burial or cremation fees, certain other specified expenses and up to £700 for any other funeral expenses, such as the funeral director's fees, the coffin or flowers.If the person who died had a pre-paid funeral plan, you'll only get help for items not already covered by the plan."

lowis

your mum is being very sensible, i know it is hard to deal with but she is being practical and is saving you from a lot of hassle in the future, when the time comes.

my mum and dad have done their wills, given me and my brother copies, and have a file at their house which has everything in it we need to know regards their investments, banking, personal affects etc. they have also both written out their funeral plans, down to which songs they want played and where they want their ashes scattered!

it was horrible (emotional) when mum showed me through the file, but she said it gives her piece of mind to know that everything will be in order for me and my brother when the time comes..bless her, she is being a great mum right up until the very end

*tear*

Pee

Making a Will will cost about £100 plus VAT, and the obvious person to be appointed Executor is you. There is no need to appoint a solicitor in this situation. It is definately worth doing the Will properly, though, and not trying the WH Smith DIY route. Make sure that whoever you use is qualified and will not charge you to store the Will or an annual "updating" fee.

It makes life easier when someone dies if you know what they would have wanted.

teresaevans_2

Please know that it is your right to care for your mother at death and make your own arrangements for burial or cremation independent of a funeral undertaker if this should be a consideration...Please do check the small print on any funeral plan purchased.