Helping mum sort her funeral and will :(

Baggysdad

By coincidence we went for a mortgage interview today at the co-op, and he was trying to sell lots of other products (like they do!) one of them being a simple will writing service for £85 +vat, and can be drawn up simply over the phone, which would be ideal for my mum!

Crumbs - £85 plus VAT for a telephone Will service, which by its nature will be compromised in the amount of advice and information which can be imparted by both parties. That's daylight robbery.:eek:

For that kind of money, your mum could be sat in front of a professional who could give her more rounded advice, including Lasting Powers of Attorney, Trusts etc etc.

If you are going to do the job, do it properly and don't use a compromised DIY/telephone/internet service where they only give you what you want.

B

lindos90

I undertstand what you mean, but my mum can not get out of the house at the moment due to a fall, so she would have to have a visit arranged, and I understand that coul be very expensive.

Years ago my Nana wanted a small change made to an existing will she held at the local solicitors, he visited her at home, was only there about half an hour, and she recieved a bill for £150 :eek:. This is one of the reasons my mum has asked me to look into MSE alternatives. But I do take your point!

Kaz2904

I wrote my first will with my DH when I was 25. He was 26. I've had a donor card since I was 9 (but have always had the clause of no eyes).
The week after our wedding I said to DH "Oh what do you want to do if you die btw? I'll donate your organs if I'm asked unless you say no?" He was a bit put out and said we'd only been married a week and his mum was horrified but I pointed out that I was now legally his next of kin so I had to know.

I've worked with elderly people since I was 18 and have seen so many people struggling when they realise their time is approaching. DH lost his dad when he was 8. I didn't think that I was too premature in sorting out a future for my children.

I think your Mum has done a lovely thing by talking things through with you because you'll be able to remember the conversation when the time comes.

The best thing to do is to get your house in order well in advance. You can then go in peace and your loved ones don't have difficulties.

ailuro2

Our DD is only 10 but we have had a few discussions over the years about what we want done if we die - not in a deliberate 'let's talk about death' morbid way, more of a seeing something on TV and saying what we'd prefer - or in my DH's case - "do anything you like but I don't want cremated" - I said I would like to be buried in a woodland, no big stone or anything, just somewhere with wild flowers and big trees where she can come and have a sit in the shade, have a picnic with any kids she might have, and have a chat to me if she feels like it. A wicker casket if there's plenty of money, otherwise some biodegradable cardboard would be fine.

Her take on this is (she decided this when she was about 8yo!!) is to have me and OH buried next to each other but facing each other like we're hugging.
OK, it's not conventional but it remiinds me of how things could be if we forget having to conform to 'the rules' on how things should be done. Knowing in advance what people want would let something like that be possible.:o

Your Mum sounds very sensible, she obviously loves you dearly to get this done even though she's not ready to pop off quite yet - it takes a strong personality to arrange one's own funeral, but I'm sure it saves a lot of heartache for the ones left behind, now you'll know she's getting what she wanted when the time comes instead of wondering what she would have preferred, and did you do the right thing or not?

As for the MSE side of things - DH has sugested once we are mortgage free one of the things on the list for things to spend the money on could be burial plots! Sensible, but I'm hoping for a couple more holidays first!!:beer:

novelli

my darling mum died last wednesday.

She has planned her own funeral down to the last detail. All you need to do is ask the funeral person/people to come to the house to see her and they will go thru everything with her. my mum chose her own coffin, urn, plot at the cemetry, flowers, songs, everything down to the last detail, and its a comfort for us to know that we can give her the send off that she wanted. She even wrote her own obituary!!
sadley she died two days after she made these arrangements with the funeral director.
we even found an envelope in the drawer which contained her life insurance policy and she had written on the front a note for my dad, which said
"this direct debit needs to be cancelled, then ring them up and explain, they will send u some forms to fill in. BUT dont do anything til i gone!!!!! oh and you will need several death certificates, which you will have to pay for, sorry!!"

sadly the will is another story, she and my father had written simple wills leaving everything to eachother, they did this to avoid any confusion, form filling, and extra expense, but its proving not to be so simple after all. Why if there is a will clearly saying everything is to be left to my dad does it need to go to probate!! As far as i can see its a money making thing for a solicitor, so we are going to do it ourselves. its not that the money is not there, its the principal that they thought they were paying for something that would avoid all this hassle, and now the solicitors want lots more money to do the probate. From what i can gather it needs to go to probate because theres over 15000 total estate, but still dont understand why as all has been left to dad. Most of their savings were in a seperate account in her name for tax purposes, but i still think the total estate including the property is less than the 325,000 threshold for inheritance tax, so why probate!!!! I feel they were given bad advice when they wrote the wills, or at least misleading, as this is exactly what they thought they were avoiding!! now the solicitor wants 500 quid plus 150 and hour plus vat to do the probate!! out of principal even if we do end up having to have a solicitor it will not be that one!! the account has now been frozen leaving dad with no money!!! as if he does not have enough to deal with right now for the 1st time in his long hard working life he is skint!!! Nobody we have spoken to ie the bank or the soliciotr has actually given us a straight answer as to whether we have to go for probate, its only from what ive read on the internet that i think we do. Dad was sole executor of the will and sole beneficiary. i feel the will is not really worth the paper it was written on, as if she left no will wouldnt we be in the same position, that all would go to her spouse and it would have to go to probate first, if i am right whats the point of them paying stupid money for the wills to be written!!!

localhero

lindos90 wrote:

Years ago my Nana wanted a small change made to an existing will she held at the local solicitors, he visited her at home, was only there about half an hour, and she recieved a bill for £150 :eek:. This is one of the reasons my mum has asked me to look into MSE alternatives

The obvious solution is to contact the Institute of Professional Willwriters at www.ipw.org.uk to find members in your area. Most will visit your mum at home as part of the fee. All will be properly qualified, insured and complying with a strict code of conduct.

Novelli, I am sorry to hear of your loss. Your parents were wise to make a Will, but making a Will does not in itself remove the need for having to apply for probate.

Probate is not necessary if property and savings are owned jointly or if the amounts owned in sole names are worth less than 5k.

The estate does not always automatically pass to the spouse - though in many cases it will. Having a Will also provides an opportunity to appoint an executor to deal with the estate - which should be someone you trust. The executor has legal authority to deal with the estate straight away - whereas without one (ie no Will) causes delays as someone will have to apply to be an `administrator`.

Moving forward, as your situation is relatively straightforward you can do this yourselves without the need to pay a solicitor. Contact your local probate registry and they will send you the correct forms and will help you further if necessary.

novelli

localhero wrote: »

The obvious solution is to contact the Institute of Professional Willwriters at www.ipw.org.uk to find members in your area. Most will visit your mum at home as part of the fee. All will be properly qualified, insured and complying with a strict code of conduct.

Novelli, I am sorry to hear of your loss. Your parents were wise to make a Will, but making a Will does not in itself remove the need for having to apply for probate.

Probate is not necessary if property and savings are owned jointly or if the amounts owned in sole names are worth less than 5k.

The estate does not always automatically pass to the spouse - though in many cases it will. Having a Will also provides an opportunity to appoint an executor to deal with the estate - which should be someone you trust. The executor has legal authority to deal with the estate straight away - whereas without one (ie no Will) causes delays as someone will have to apply to be an `administrator`.

Moving forward, as your situation is relatively straightforward you can do this yourselves without the need to pay a solicitor. Contact your local probate registry and they will send you the correct forms and will help you further if necessary.

my father is also the executor, i still dont understand why it should have to go to probate, theres no inheritance tax as he is spouse and its under the threshold. I also found today a document called enduring power of attorney that my mother had signed stating very clearly that my father was to act on her behalf in the event of her death. As he is both executor and sole beneficiary of the will why would it need to go to probate?? The will could not be more clearer in stating that everything goes to him and the power of attorney doc is also crystal clear in stating that he is to act on her behalf. Unless ive got it wrong (very possible)!!, all probate does is grant him permission to deal with her estate, but surely the will and the power of attorney document already does this?? and they were charged a pretty penny for these docs which are witnessed by 2 solicitors. What a minefield this is turning out to be!! and theres no way a solicitor is making any more money from them!!!! why cant my father just go to the bank with the will, the power of attorney doc and the death certificate and ask that they transfer the money into his account?? It is his money
another question, somewhat unrelated, but im beginning to feel that death is very big business for some vulchers out there.
Why has my father been charged 147.00 for a doctor to come out to confirm death when mum died at home. The doctor was there all of 5 mins, didnt touch mum, simply asked us what time she died, wrote it on a scrap bit of paper then left. she stood at the end of the bed and went nowhere near her, i found that rather odd, but then to get a bill for it i was dumbfounded!!?? surely that should come under the NHS, has anyone else had this happen.

lindos90

Novelli, Im so sorry to hear your sad news. Im also sorry I have no advice for you.But it looks like the solicitor is happy for you to pay for something that you and your family could do anyway. Bless your mum for putting those notes on, thats just the sort of thing I can imagine my mum doing, having a little note telling me where all her paperwork is, she is very organised, she even highlights her TV times programmes and notes down use by dates before putting things away!!

Does seem odd that their will/s only mentioned each other. I know very little about wills, but would have thought wills had to have some kind of 'plan B' incase the first benificiary died before the will was needed etc.

I hope you get things sorted without too many problems, its the last thing you need. I remember from when my in-laws died that there is so much paperwork, as neither had left a will and that had to go to probate, but family sorted it without a solicitor, did it all directly through the bank. (But they left very little anyway)

Yes I find the charge for a death certificate strange, as the NHS was championed as 'free from cradle to grave' at one time, but the charge is correct, my mum tells me there was when my Nana died.

margaretclare

Does seem odd that their will/s only mentioned each other. I know very little about wills, but would have thought wills had to have some kind of 'plan B' in case the first beneficiary died before the will was needed etc.

Yes, that is normally the case. Our wills state '....provided he shall survive me by 28 days' and I believe that's usual, especially if you're leaving everything to each other. One of you is going do die first, and that's when that proviso kicks in, not having survived me it goes to Plan B as you say, the next beneficiaries.

I also found today a document called enduring power of attorney that my mother had signed stating very clearly that my father was to act on her behalf in the event of her death.

I thought that EPA was about dealing with your affairs while you're still alive, if you become incapable of dealing with them yourself? Being an executor under a will is quite a different thing.

Mojisola

novelli wrote: »

sadly the will is another story, she and my father had written simple wills leaving everything to eachother, they did this to avoid any confusion, form filling, and extra expense, but its proving not to be so simple after all.

It's also important for your father to get a new will written as soon as possible saying what he now wants to happen to his money.

It's horrible having to deal with these things when you're grieving. I hope things go as smoothly as possible for you.