When should children start using public toilets on their own?

Oldernotwiser

KatP wrote: »

Not into the cubicle but into the area with the handbasins, if they are out in public they probably would. Obviously in school or at schools events it is a bit different.

I lived on the Isle of Wight and was often on the ferry with parties of primary school children. They were always allowed to wander around in groups without a teacher and would have used the loos unsupervised.

blackcoffee

Ive gone with the local ruling at our swimming pool, once 8? a boy is expected to go in the male changing rooms on his own. Must admit I took mine with me just after his 8th birthday and I was getting some stares off some mothers, as he is tall! But It was more the case that after swimming i couldnt trust him to shower properly and actually keep his clothes dry !

Oldernotwiser

blackcoffee wrote: »

Ive gone with the local ruling at our swimming pool, once 8? a boy is expected to go in the male changing rooms on his own. Must admit I took mine with me just after his 8th birthday and I was getting some stares off some mothers, as he is tall! But It was more the case that after swimming i couldnt trust him to shower properly and actually keep his clothes dry !

At our pool many of us strip off completely and would be most unhappy about a boy of this age being present.I imagine the lad would be pretty embarrassed as well!

barnaby-bear

mcspanna wrote: »

In response to the various people who have asked what they are meant to do instead of using when they have several children and no parent and child toilet, it's very simple; stay at home or go somewhere else...that's what disabled people have to do when they can't get parking spaces or accessible toilet facilities. rant over.:mad:

So what does the disabled person do when all the car parking places are full with other disabled people? Or there is another wheelchair user using the toilet..... being disabled doesn't preclude you from having to queue for limited facilities. My local supermarket runs out of normal spaces before disabled so we wait for a normal space. I'd have thought most disabled people would not begrudge sharing a facility with someone with safety or access issues with regular facilities, in fact mothers with pushairs lobbying for better access have helped a lot of wheel chair users. If accessible toilets that can be used by parent and children and disabled users become more common then there will be more for both sets and more support for them - if you think it's ok to tell a mother to send a young child into a gents alone or leave their baby alone or just stay at home - then why should we bother making any concessions for wheelchair users either - shouldn't they just stay at home or struggle to use normal facilities.

fernliebee

In our local shopping centre the 'state of the art' toilets are up a short set of stairs with no other access, so they then have disabled/ pushchair friendly toilets at the bottom of the stairs.

Personally I would never park in a disabled space, my mother is disabled and I often go out with her so understand the frustration of the spaces being full of people without badges. I don't even bother with the parent and child spaces even though DD is only 14 months, normal spaces are fine for me.

I would however use a disabled toilet if there was no other option, and I think it is pedantic and ridiculous to suggest otherwise! Would you rather wet yourself than use one? Would you rather leave baby outside alone? Would you go to the toilet holding baby? I used a wrap sling regularly when my DD was younger but occasionally I would have her in the buggy instead, so would be in a position where it would have been difficult to use the loo otherwise. I think as long as you check if there is anyone in the vicinity who may be about to go in, and then get in and out as quickly as poss. If I had a toddler who was going to use the toilet I wouldn't use a disabled toilet as there would be no need IMO.

barnaby-bear

KatP wrote: »

In a public toilet - what is there to gawp at in the handwash area of a public loo?

Changing rooms are a different matter where there are undressed people, but in a loo all you are doing is washing and drying your hands!

To be honest though at about 8 I think that is old enough to wait outside alone, if he doesn't need to go and it is a reasonably safe area so probably no need to be hanging about gawping.

It's a lot harder for fathers with young daughters - do you leave a 4 year girl outside/give her to a strange woman to take her/or take her in to spot the snake at the urinals... women's toilets don't have anything to look at in the handwashing area.... gent's do....

barnaby-bear

fernliebee wrote: »

In our local shopping centre the 'state of the art' toilets are up a short set of stairs with no other access, so they then have disabled/ pushchair friendly toilets at the bottom of the stairs.

Personally I would never park in a disabled space, my mother is disabled and I often go out with her so understand the frustration of the spaces being full of people without badges. I don't even bother with the parent and child spaces even though DD is only 14 months, normal spaces are fine for me.

I would however use a disabled toilet if there was no other option, and I think it is pedantic and ridiculous to suggest otherwise! Would you rather wet yourself than use one? Would you rather leave baby outside alone? Would you go to the toilet holding baby? I used a wrap sling regularly when my DD was younger but occasionally I would have her in the buggy instead, so would be in a position where it would have been difficult to use the loo otherwise. I think as long as you check if there is anyone in the vicinity who may be about to go in, and then get in and out as quickly as poss. If I had a toddler who was going to use the toilet I wouldn't use a disabled toilet as there would be no need IMO.

If a disabled person really can't wait for 2 min then they'd have the same problem if another disabled person was using the loo anyway.

fernliebee

TBH I would take her in and would much rather my DH took our daughter in with him, than left her outside. TBH I don't think it matters if she see's men weeing particularly as it is relevant for the situation iyswim. Not saying I want her to look at mens willies, but I don't think she would see that much walking past a man weeing to go into a cubicle. I would have much more of an issue her looking at something like page 3 where the 'natural body part' is being needlessly sexualised.

I'm just waiting for the flaming I'm going to get now!

barnaby-bear

fernliebee wrote: »

TBH I would take her in and would much rather my DH took our daughter in with him, than left her outside. TBH I don't think it matters if she see's men weeing particularly as it is relevant for the situation iyswim. Not saying I want her to look at mens willies, but I don't think she would see that much walking past a man weeing to go into a cubicle. I would have much more of an issue her looking at something like page 3 where the 'natural body part' is being needlessly sexualised.

I'm just waiting for the flaming I'm going to get now!

Whether the urinal users react well to small girls being around is another issue.... a disabled/accessible/parent and child facility removes such issues for both sides and there is a demand for from both sides... some women here obviously don't want boys seeing them wash their hands, many teenage lads don't want little girls in the gents etc.... and some people feel uncomfortable at the reactions of others to the situation.

BeenieCat

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

At our pool many of us strip off completely and would be most unhappy about a boy of this age being present.I imagine the lad would be pretty embarrassed as well!

Is there no cubicles?

At our local pool it's all unisex now, so there's no problems for fathers & daughters, or mothers and sons. There is loads of cubicles though, but even when it was separate i could never understand why people would strip naked outside when they could go into a cubicle