When should children start using public toilets on their own?

mrcow

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

How on earth did mothers manage 20/30 years ago? I know I managed with a toddler in a backpack and carrying my shopping on the bus. It's amazing what you can do when there's no alternative!

30 year ago, my mother had a double buggy - just like me in fact.

Funnily enough, it was the best option available to her back then as well. But then she did a lot of walking with her children (as I do) and so a sling is hardly going to be a comfortable or sensible option - not with 3 children under 3 as she had.

shazrobo

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

This is just ridiculous!

Since when have public toilets been considered places of danger in this way? What do your sons do when they're out on their own?

i should have added that my sons go to a special school, as they have learning disabilities, because of this they do not go out alone, they are always with other adults if not with me or my partner

andrealm

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

When I was younger far more women used slings, which is what I was referring to when I compared it to "nowadays" when far fewer people do.

I'm obviously in a very annoying minority so I'm going to leave the thread. I'll just finish by saying that it seems utter madness when we have internet shopping, home delivery services and most women drive, for people to find the whole shopping experience to be so difficult that they feel it justifies them in using disabled facilities with school age children.

How on earth did mothers manage 20/30 years ago? I know I managed with a toddler in a backpack and carrying my shopping on the bus. It's amazing what
you can do when there's no alternative!

Did you not consider using a buggy? Why do you say there was no alternative?

If my children were older and we didn't have the buggy I wouldn't need to use a disabled toilet, but then I have 2 girls so wouldn't need to worry about what age to let a boy go in by himself. I would say about 8 is the right age as per swimming pool guidelines.

What do dads do when they are out with daughters?

Nicki

I remember a thread very like this a few years ago, where I ended up being lambasted for saying as the mum of a disabled child that I didn't think much older children should use them in preference to the adult loos, and being told that if my child was disabled and not able to queue for ages then I should keep her in nappies, rather than expect to be able to use the disabled loos reasonably quickly!

I think its all a question of proportion tbh. I have no problems with mums of babies in pushchairs or toddlers using the disabled loos where they need the accessibility. I can tolerate kids of 7 or 8 out with an adult of the opposite sex using them if they aren't mature or sensible enough to use the adult loos unescorted. I have real problems I'm afraid with older non disabled kids using them though because mums are overprotective of 12 and 13 year olds.

The point is that some disabled people cannot wait for a long time to use the loo, depending on their disability, and some disabled people just cannot get into a normal sized cubicle. If those who have no genuine need to use the facilities hog them for selfish reasons, then the disabled are significantly disadvantaged and that is just thoughtless and selfish. I would argue however that a mum with a child in a pushchair does have a genuine need as they are no more able to fit in a standard size cubicle than someone in a wheelchair, and I can't contemplate successfully using a loo whilst wearing even a small baby in a sling!!!!

My DS is 9 and uses the adult toilet independently. If he is out with me and I need the loo, he will wait outside the ladies. We live in London so not some sleepy backwater, though I wouldn't take him to some dodgy public loo with a nasty reputation. However toilets in well maintained shopping malls or leisure places are fine IME. I would guess he started using the loo on his own when he was around 8, and started off when out with friends going in with a friend his own age, and probably to start off with I did hover anxiously outside but that stage quickly passed. They do all need to learn this independent skill some time, though I would tend to agree that 5 is far too young.

tiamai_d

Nicki the voice of reason and sence!

I agree and you put it better than I could!

aliasojo

I've just come back from a reasonably large independent store.....there was a sign on the outside of the toilet door saying 'children must not use the toilet unaccompanied'.

There you are, decision taken out of your hands and made for you. Saves all the arguing. :rotfl:

Katie-Kat-Kins

aliasojo wrote: »

I've just come back from a reasonably large independent store.....there was a sign on the outside of the toilet door saying 'children must not use the toilet unaccompanied'.

There you are, decision taken out of your hands and made for you. Saves all the arguing. :rotfl:

Wow, in England you are a child until your 18th Birthday...... so what were the 17 year olds who had driven into town themselves supposed to do if they needed a wee, or the 16 year old saturday girl working in said store!?

Surely an age limit is required, which is what we are discussing!

aliasojo

KatP wrote: »

Surely an age limit is required, which is what we are discussing!

I do realise that thanks, so no need to emphasise the fact with an exclamation mark.

I just found the sign mildly amusing considering the discussion that was going on here and thought I'd share. Consider me done.

patchwork_cat

I think Kat was being funny Aliasojo and agreeing with you that they sign really isn't helpful!

aliasojo

Oh. Well in that case, I apologise and will admit to being too touchy. I was just getting a wee bit fed up with some of the terse remarks that were going on in the thread and I wasn't up for being at the receiving end.

Sorry.