Why do people think it's OK

madfrenchgirl

It's pretty obvious you did not read my post entirely: if you'd read the first part you would understand and allow for a certain level of cynicism. We're now 9 days until the wedding and we've had a BM putting us (and the bridal party) through so much trouble that we have no choice but to fire her. it's the same one with the "sh1tty girlfriend". I will probably be left out of pocket even if I manage to sell her dress. What I meant about my friend's dad is that she had the politeness to let me know she might not make it and had a more than valuable excuse and I am actually grateful that she would take the time to let me know in a situation like hers. This is what I meant by "at least, SHE has given me enough notice". You haven't read the reply I sent her and you don't even know me so do not come and make judgements on whether or not I should get married.

Quote wrote: »

Yeah. Thank goodness for notice. Never mind her Dad, eh?

Let's hope you find a heart before you get married.

talulahbeige_2

miserly_mum wrote: »

It wasn't a criticism and I hope you didn't take it as such.

We're only having a small wedding and I am determined only to invite people I truly believe want to be there and won't let us down at the last minute.

The problem with that is there are very few people who I could say with 100% certainty would fit into that category. I've also tried to organize everything to the point that all most of them have to do is turn up on time and enjoy the day. ie offering to book transport,rooms etc for those that need it.

I don't know if thats sad reflection of our family and friends or of people in general. I know though that no matter how well we plan it, even to the point of going out of our way to make things as easy for our guests as possible ,there will probably still be some frigger who will cancel at the last minute. :mad:

Not at all M_mum, its a huge bug bear of mine (as people did the whole cancel on the day thing at my 1st wedding) so i have strong opinions. Hope i didnt upset you either
x

lindaatno9

I think that remark is a little out of order. Personal remarks are not really helpful to the post.

People drop out, Steph, because they don't think or feel their reason is appropriate to them. People don't think of the cost the couple are unable to re claim. You seem to have thought of everyone else when planning your day, wanting to share it with them. That makes you a considerate person. I'm sorry you have been let down.

IWantToBeFree_2

We had a handful of people who couldn't make it on the day who informed us in advance, but we did have a couple who just didn't turn up on the day, no apology offered or anything. I wasn't fussed as it meant there was more food for people who actually wanted to share our day!

A relative of mine has sent out invites a few weeks ago for a wedding that will take place at the end of next July, I imagine she will have a lot of people who drop out simply because it is unreasonable to expect people to fully commit themselves to an event that is happening 50 weeks later.

gingerbeer

I'm getting married July 2010 and at the meal there will only be 25 people coming who are close family and i know they will be there (unless some major disaster happens).
At the night do i was advised by one venue to only cater for 85-90% of the final number, which having read this thread, think is a very good idea.

I can't believe some of the hassels you are all having. I'm sure you will have the day of your lives with or without a few people.

rene2b

im also getting married in july and we have around 36 for the meal even tho numbers are going up lol.but ive had to pay for 100 for the night do regardless of numbers.i dont think people think about money thats been spent on there place/meal when not turning up unless therve been married and remember the cost of each person

JoolzS

I can only guess that a lot fewer people than you thought actually like you enough to attend your wedding.

Julie

jillymit

JoolzS wrote: »

I can only guess that a lot fewer people than you thought actually like you enough to attend your wedding.

Julie

Did you really have to post this mean comment?
People cancel for lots of reasons. Not everyone has the manners to do this properly. I think the OP is upset enough without you shoving your 'guess' in.

broke_mum_of_three

I have never not turned up to a wedding day or evening "do" if I have said I am going, but I never realized that you had to pay for the evening guests. I thought you had your day guests and paid for their meal and just invited whoever you wanted later on, I know some people have a light supper in the evening and thought you would just pay for the sausages rolls etc not for the number of anticipated guests.

shellsuit

JoolzS wrote: »

I can only guess that a lot fewer people than you thought actually like you enough to attend your wedding.

Julie

Do you have permanent PMT or are you going through the change, because your comments, not only on this thread are nasty and vile, which makes me wonder just what the hell is going on inside that head of yours.