Why do people think it's OK

talulahbeige_2

mrbrightside842 wrote: »

Have you asked people to RSVP a year in advance? Or have you just sent out Save the Dates a year in advance?

Nope, our wedding is a Friday so we checked with people that they were happy to be there on a Friday (hotel are allowing for hardly any movement in our numbers!)
We will then send save the dates early next year and invites as normal so people have plenty of time to say no.

talulahbeige_2

chaosweddings wrote: »

3 days before our wedding 11 people couldnt make it but had already sent a rsvp accepting and then on the night of the wedding some freinds came saying that 4 friends couldnt come as they went out the night before and have hangovers !

the beauty of having a wedding in a location that isn't anyones home town, they all have to book accommodation in advance!

Quote

madfrenchgirl wrote: »

One of my guests might drop out but she has a reasonable excuse as doctors have just found a tumour on her dad's brain. At least she has given me enough notice.

Yeah. Thank goodness for notice. Never mind her Dad, eh?

Let's hope you find a heart before you get married.

Leylauk

That is terrible. It is soooo annoying - I tell you from now on I am going to be the best wedding guest EVER, I try to RSVP within hours of getting the invite and I would NEVER drop out (unless had a really really valid excuse). We lost only one person from the day do at the last minute but 35 from the evening didnt bother turning up after they had RSVP'd and it cost us a lot of money.

PS - forgot to say - have a great day SK

miserly_mum

talulahbeige wrote: »

the beauty of having a wedding in a location that isn't anyones home town, they all have to book accommodation in advance!

Yes but the flip side of that is it could put a lot of people off going.

I know if I got invited to a wedding (other than a VERY VERY close family member) that was too far away to drive or taxi home from then I wouldn't go.

Being a guest is expensive enough (new clothes,pressie,drinks,taxis) without having to fork out for accomodation as well. Having said that I would let them know straight away that I wouldn't be attending.

Smits

it pretty much shows, the most important day for you, might not be that important to other people

francinefishpaw

Smits wrote: »

it pretty much shows, the most important day for you, might not be that important to other people

yup, exactly right

Leylauk

Indeed that is true - I certainly did not expect it to be that important to other people but when they say they are coming, you pay a lot of money for them and then they do not turn up on the day (most without even an excuse/text/quick sorry) - well IMO its just bad manners (which cost myself and OH over £300 which could certainly have been better spent elsewhere! ).

talulahbeige_2

miserly_mum wrote: »

Yes but the flip side of that is it could put a lot of people off going.

I know if I got invited to a wedding (other than a VERY VERY close family member) that was too far away to drive or taxi home from then I wouldn't go.

Being a guest is expensive enough (new clothes,pressie,drinks,taxis) without having to fork out for accomodation as well. Having said that I would let them know straight away that I wouldn't be attending.

It could, but at least I wouldn't have paid £50 per person for them not to show up.
Tbh we both only want people there who want to be there, or that we want to be there. For this reason freinds will outnumber family and all the people who are coming will be coming because they want to spend our day with us and not becuase its a free feed and they feel obliged and cant think of an excuse when they originally get the invite.

I'm a great believer in managing people expectations from the outset rather than messign people ablout later on!

miserly_mum

talulahbeige wrote: »

It could, but at least I wouldn't have paid £50 per person for them not to show up.
Tbh we both only want people there who want to be there, or that we want to be there. For this reason freinds will outnumber family and all the people who are coming will be coming because they want to spend our day with us and not becuase its a free feed and they feel obliged and cant think of an excuse when they originally get the invite.

I'm a great believer in managing people expectations from the outset rather than messign people ablout later on!

It wasn't a criticism and I hope you didn't take it as such.

We're only having a small wedding and I am determined only to invite people I truly believe want to be there and won't let us down at the last minute.

The problem with that is there are very few people who I could say with 100% certainty would fit into that category. I've also tried to organize everything to the point that all most of them have to do is turn up on time and enjoy the day. ie offering to book transport,rooms etc for those that need it.

I don't know if thats sad reflection of our family and friends or of people in general. I know though that no matter how well we plan it, even to the point of going out of our way to make things as easy for our guests as possible ,there will probably still be some frigger who will cancel at the last minute. :mad: