My little boy has just nearly drowned in his swimming lesson

pandora205

Fortunately your son is fine and will be okay. Even though it didn't appear that the instructor was paying attention she obviously was as she rescued him. It's important that you don't panic too much after the event as it will only add to his anxiety.

As it was a stand in instructor I'd treat this as a one off. Perhaps the move to this group has been too much for him - if so, discuss with the original instructor who knows him well. Can you take him swimming to build up his confidence and have fun playing and swimming in shallower water? Are you confident in the water yourself? It would be useful to teach your son to float on his back and to tread water in case he is ever worried again.

JAM1376

I don't think you are over reacting.

The teacher should assess each child before s/he takes them out of their depth, especially with a new class. This is basic common sense (and spoken by a trainer/assessor of pool lifeguards in this case) and should be second nature to any pool teacher (is s/he qualified?).

I would mention it to the DM of the centre (although they will already be aware of the incident), not complaining as such but just making them aware of your feelings and the reason your son no longer wants to attend, and then take him in the water yourself and have some fun.

HTH xxx

ETA Please don't get him a floatation vest (sorry Mrs T) - if he had confidence it will come back and it is so much easier if they don't wear these things. It's best to keep him in his depth and have fun playing/splashing/face under etc.

milliemonster

Yes I've not shown my son that I'm upset at all and just tried to reassure him and keep it low key.

The reason he has been moved into this group is because the group he was moved up to last week, there were only 4 of them in it and his regular teacher said that it was too few for it to be viable so they were going to move the 4 of them up into the earlier group this week, so it's very mixed abilities.

Mrs Tine - it's a half hour lesson and the first 25 minutes are spent in the shallow end, they then take them up to the deep end for the last 5 mins but I thought only to jump in near the side (this is what they did last week as dh told me), I didn't think he would be swimming across the pool as he just can't swim anywhere near good enough for more than a couple of strokes. I know the others were swimming across the pool before him but as I say the group is now very mixed abilities so I just presumed he would be staying near the side of the pool

I don't want to cause a scene or get anyone into trouble at all, it's just shocked me to the core really and I'm more upset at the damage it's done to his confidence than anything else

milliebear00001

jinky67 wrote: »

If as you say he was "flapping around" then I would be questioning why he has been moved groups so soon:cool:
It doesnt sound to me like he is at all ready for "proper" swimming yet

I would absolutely agree with this comment. My daughter has group swimming lessons and our Local Authority scheme means no child is allowed to swim in the deep end until they have progressed through five 'levels' to become 'strong' swimmers in at least two recognisable strokes. Your son is clearly not yet anywhere near a 'strong' swimmer. How are the other children swimming? Is their swimming noticably stronger than your son's? If so, I would be querying why he has been moved into a class unsuitable for his ability level. Swimming teachers are like any other teacher, they should be the ones to make a professional judgement about when a child is ready to move on - parents can voice any concerns they might have, but they are not trained to teach swimming - don't let your son's coach(es) get away with poor communication and/or assessment of his capability.

MrsTinks

JAM1376 wrote: »

ETA Please don't get him a floatation vest (sorry Mrs T) - if he had confidence it will come back and it is so much easier if they don't wear these things. It's best to keep him in his depth and have fun playing/splashing/face under etc.

Each to their own It worked for my younger brother who was very hesitant about water (to his dads disappointment - being a Navy man...) When mum got him one of those jackets he found that water was actually fun and built up his confidence and musclestrength until he found it got in his way and wanted to swim without it. Initially with a floating board but even that was soon "ditched"
I was a total water hound as a kid and did loads of competitions before moving away from any swimmingpools Loads of kids in my classes had swimming aids initially - but I wonder if it's a different way of thinking? Denmark and Britain often disagree on a lot of ways of doing things Doesn't mean either is wrong Just horses for courses

JAM1376

Mrs T

I'm not against them per se for a complete novice but if the son at one point had the position in the water etc and had already 'felt the freedom' then wearing a floatation thing will alter all his bouyancy again and just make it a bit more difficult to take the thing off (keep saying thing cos there's lots of variations out there - the best one at the mo in my opinion is the sharks fin - very cool and good swimming position - but would still encourage the OP's son to go it alone).

If he was almost there a week ago, it will VERY soon come back with some one on one with whoever he trusts. Sorry if this wasn't clear xxx

Penny_Watcher

:eek::eek::eek: Been there - seen that with DS1(almost 15) when he was 6 or 7. He was moved up too quickly in his swimming lessons. I questioned whether he was really ready and the old woman "I've had 40 years experience and I KNOW what I'm doing" running that lesson missed that he was in trouble. Predictably he sank and frightened himself out of his wits. One of the lifeguards saw what was going on and went in for him. I persuaded DS to go to the following week's lesson, but he was so upset after the way he was treated by the horrible old woman ("Just shut up and get in") I said he didn't have to go there again. He wouldn't entertain going to the new pool with his sister either.

Make sure you spend lots of time rebuilding your boy's water confidence. DD1's still not keen on being out of his depth even though he a big ruffty-tuffty almost 6' tall sportsman.

milliemonster

Thanks everyone for all your advice, I have just phoned dh at work to find out exactly what they did last week, he told me they did jump in the deep end and then he did backstroke at the edge of the pool so he could still grab the side if he needed to.

We have decided that when he goes back, dh will have a word with his regular teacher (who is fantastic) to let her know what happened and just explain he may need his confidence building up a little bit. It will be a couple of weeks as we are going on holiday on Monday so plenty of time to get him in the pool with us and build him back up again.

I don't want to move him from these lessons as his regular teacher is great, she is strict and takes no prisoners! but the kids really like her and respect her. We tried to get him swimming ourselves but could never get him out of the baby pool, even this time last year he wouldn't even do anything more than paddle, so we put him down on the waiting list for lessons at our local pool however there was a long list. In the meantime we took him to another leisure centre for lessons but he was so scared he spent more time sat on the edge of the pool crying and the teacher just couldn't get him in the pool for more than a few minutes at a time. This went on for about 12 weeks when we got the call from my local pool that there was a space for him and within a week of him being here he had his armbands off, was happily going in the pool and really enjoying himself!

jinky67

milliemonster wrote: »

Thanks everyone for all your advice, I have just phoned dh at work to find out exactly what they did last week, he told me they did jump in the deep end and then he did backstroke at the edge of the pool so he could still grab the side if he needed to.

We have decided that when he goes back, dh will have a word with his regular teacher (who is fantastic) to let her know what happened and just explain he may need his confidence building up a little bit. It will be a couple of weeks as we are going on holiday on Monday so plenty of time to get him in the pool with us and build him back up again.

I don't want to move him from these lessons as his regular teacher is great, she is strict and takes no prisoners! but the kids really like her and respect her. We tried to get him swimming ourselves but could never get him out of the baby pool, even this time last year he wouldn't even do anything more than paddle, so we put him down on the waiting list for lessons at our local pool however there was a long list. In the meantime we took him to another leisure centre for lessons but he was so scared he spent more time sat on the edge of the pool crying and the teacher just couldn't get him in the pool for more than a few minutes at a time. This went on for about 12 weeks when we got the call from my local pool that there was a space for him and within a week of him being here he had his armbands off, was happily going in the pool and really enjoying himself!

my DD was a bit like that with me, she point blank refused to have swimming lessons but recently she has "got" it and now tells me not to take her arm bands with us:j:j:j:j

ChrisCobra

milliemonster wrote: »

Trouble is the viewing area is far away from where they were, I was getting up when I could see he wasn't getting anywhere fast and then saw him go under and her jump in, it was so quick I think I was just too stunned.

I had presumed he was maybe ready for it beforehand as I didn't go last week my dh took him and told me he had jumped in the deep end, so I just presumed they had done this with him before and he'd been ok?

Fair enough , i wasnt judging

I had a problem with swimming when i was at school because the teachers were utter idiots , letting you jump in the deep end and you had to grab a stick they were holding so you could learn .

Trouble is they removed the stick just as you jumped in , needless to say i went in like a rock and didnt swim basically for another 6 or so years , idiots