Planning a baby and money - how's best to do this?

Catzpaws

Hello everyone

I posted on this forum back in March - "Think I'm ready to start a family but scared of losing independence"

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1554117&highlight=catzpaws

The replies were really helpful... and helped me think about things.

Fast forward a few months and things have changed quite a lot. We actually started trying for a baby in May - just losing the contraception and going with the flow . I got pregnant straight away, but sadly it was an ectopic pregnancy - found out at 6 weeks. What happened with this has really clarified my thoughts/feelings. Basically, I could have died as my left tube ruptured and I collapsed, which led to emergency surgery and a big blood transfusion.

Having experienced this, I now realise that I am ready to start a family and we will be trying again very soon after our hols.

I'm now thinking about the next thing....MONEY. I have concerns in this area, that I would like to kind of sort out in my mind... and would be grateful for other women's/mums' views on this...

• Mums that worked before mat leave - did you save up so that you could afford to take a huge drop in pay during maternity leave and after?
• Do most women return back to work after maternity leave?
  • If so, do this do this because of the money?
• How hard is it really financially???

Really interested to hear what others have to say - give me your experience and insight, please!

Thx

CP

Catzpaws

Incidentally, in my perfectly ideal scenario, I won't be stressing about money during the pregnancy, I will be able to take a year's maternity leave, then to return to work part time, then set up by myself (own business)...getting that to be a success, before going for baby no 2.

Ha! Well, that's my dream scenario, which I would love... but is perhaps not going to happen quite like that...

Dormouse

Sorry to hear about your ectopic, Catz!

I suspect there are as many answers to your questions as there are mums out there - everyone's circumstances are different and what works for one family would not necessarily work for another.

The way I see it, there are two major issues: your career and childcare. Does your job pay enough for you to make it viable to return to work and pay for childcare? Or do you have family/parents etc who would look after the child for free? Is your career well established and you need to get back to it ASAP, or is it not that important?

My personal experience was that after graduating I had several jobs with no clear idea of what I wanted, no clear career, and then I got broody. The job I was in did not pay enough for me to be able to return back to work and fork out for childcare (we had no family near us at the time), so it made more sense for me to stay at home (incidentally, that's when I discovered MSE and was able to make shedloads of savings, so staying at home was pretty useful! :T)

I've been at home ever since, but I also have two home-based jobs that I do. It's not a bed of roses (despite people assuming that working from home is a doddle - it so isn't!) but it works for us for the time being.

Lots for you to think about - good luck!

ginvzt

Ok, I am in the 'ttc boat'. Have been in it for nearly 2 years.

My idea is that when it happens, I will try to work as long as possible, posibly taking the remaining year's holidays before maternity leave. Then I want full 12 months off to be with the baby. I am not 100% sure, but I think our company only pays SMP, nothing on top,. Afterwards - return part time, or if not, working from home couple of days (I can do working from home now as well). We should be able to afford it, as long as we both have jobs. I am not considering being SAHM, although would love to. It is just that is how grew up - my mum was working (teacher) and I think I will be doing the same. Besides, don't think my OH would be too pleased if I announced I am going to be SAHM and I enjoy being able to afford things I want.

At the moment, I am trying to build up 'baby fund'. However, we just spent most of it on exotic holiday in July, as nothing is happening. I am rebuilding it again, and have about £3.5k at the moment. We have other savings as well, but these are my 'dedicated baby fund'. Which will be spent on something else if no baby for a long time. I have no family around (all abroad), so will have to rely on ourselves and childcare (nursery, etc) when it is time to go back to work. I am not too bothered about the savings, as you still have 9 months (ok, 8 by the time you do know) to save up some more.

mummy_Jay

Catzpaws wrote: »

Mums that worked before mat leave - did you save up so that you could afford to take a huge drop in pay during maternity leave and after?

• Do most women return back to work after maternity leave?
  • If so, do this do this because of the money?
• How hard is it really financially???

I worked all the way up to the day before my DS arrived (he was early), I think I planned my finances more than saved, things like getting a mortgage holiday, working out what I was going to need so I could buy up front in the sales, borrow from friends, add to my b-day list (I got a set on birth to potty reusalbe nappies that year for my b-day) but I also budgeted both during my pregnancy and for after so I knew what I was going to need upfront.

I returned to work 3 months after having my DS partly planned due to maintaining my financies but also as I need to be me again and interact with other adults as me not as mum of *****. If your going to have a whole year off, make sure you plan for regular you time.

Financially it's not as hard as you think it will be, its as hard as you want it to be, if your happy to accept hand me downs from friends and shop at the supermarkets for what baby clothes you need, its not bad. I breast feed for the first 6 months and used reusable nappies, so day to day for the first 6 months wasn't much at all but as you need to keep the house warm for a baby there was a slight rise in my utility usage.


I hope this helps.

augustsmummy

Sorry to hear of your loss.

In answer to your question, with DD I planned to work until 36 weeks. I found out about my surprise at 6weeks. I had about £1000 in the bank at that point. I added to this during my pregnancy. I did however get signed off sick from 26 weeks, but was paid at full rate as per my contract. I then was able to take a full years leave. It was tough as we were only entitled to six months mat pay back then, and I didn't get as much as some as I hadn't worked for the company long enough to be entitled to it.

This time however, I was signed off sick from a week before I found out I was expecting, and am still off at 25weeks. I have dropped to half pay, so I am struggling a bit more this time round. I am waiting to find out if I can return to work prior to having baby, and if not howmuch mat pay I will get.
If I had the chance again I would start saving asap, as you never know what will happen with your health, something like SPD, anaemia,or pre-eclampsia for example, could have you signed off from work for a lot of your pregnancy and leave you struggling depending on your contract.
I wish you every sucess with TTC. I hope everything goes well for you.

**confuzzled**

Hi Catz,
Sorry to hear about your ectopic:(

I can't really help on the work front, just wanted to say join us on the ttc board, someone mentioned it earlier on the thread and you might find it useful:D Also there's already a few who are trying for their 2nd so they might be able to give you some ideas too.

Personally I've already started a babyfund and fingers crossed then when we get that elusive bfp we'll have enough for me to be a SAHM:D If not, it's not the end of the world and we'll cope:D Optimistic or what eh?!?!:rotfl:

Hope to see you over on ttc soon xxxxxxxxx

milliemonster

Well when I had my first, we were only entitled to 18 weeks paid maternity leave, 9 weeks of that was full pay and 9 weeks was half pay plus SMP, we had debts aswell at the time and we couldn't have afforded to live just on hubby's wage alone, never looked into mortgage payment holidays or anything, I don't think they did them then! (although we are only talking 10 years ago lol)

So, basically I worked until 38 weeks and then started my mat leave, I went back to work when my DD was 5 months old, the month I went back to work I didn't have any pay so that was tough, I would have loved to have taken off more time but couldn't afford to.

Now with hindsight, I realise perhaps we could have renegotiated on our debt repayments, mortgage holidays etc to have allowed me time off with my dd but I didn't think that was a possibility at the time.

Yes it's great if you can save to fund the time off but we didn't really have enough left over to save at the time.

Katie-Kat-Kins

Hi, I think the answer to your questions is "it depends"!!!

Everyone is different and things like whether they return to work depend on so many things, for example the type of job they have, the type of job their husband has, their salaries, the willingness of their employer to consider part time working, the availability of suitable childcare etc etc etc.

I think it is wise to start saving to make your time off easier, saving is NEVER a bad thing!!!

Then make some "ideal world" plans, but accpet that things change and these won't be set in stone.

For example, you can consider how late in pregnancy you would like to work, based on the type of work you do. If it is physical you may have to take maternity leave earlier than if desk based. From there you can work out when you would ideally like to return (if at all) and you can look at how your finances will work and whether your plan is realistic and adjust it accordingly, or work harder to save more now. You can also weigh up your childcare options and cost them.

Do remember though that your health may not allow you to work as late as you wish and your feelings about returning to work may change when baby arrives. Also your employer is not obliged to allow part time working, job sharing or flexitime, only to consider your request. What will you do if your request is refused?

Also remember that it is unfair to rely upon grandparents to provide significant childcare unless this is very carefully worked out and remunerated. It could also strain relationships, voicing disagreement on how you child spends her day is harder with your mother in law than a paid childminder! In my mind relying upon relations is more suitable for stop gap care for example when you have an hour to cover after school or if it is only when your shift patterns clash or whatever.

Good luck, and don't set yourself too rigid a plan. I believe that this can be setting yourself up for a fall which can be particularly hard to deal with when your emotions are fragile!

Pee

This is all theory before I start, but my thinking is that me and OH who earn roughly the same would look at both working part-time. This is in theory practical, with the idea being if one of us was unable to work, the other one could. He's had children before, so knows what he'll be taking on, I haven't but figure I'll just know what to do, to a certain extent - and panic lots, etc. Once I'm pregnant - no luck to date - the intention is to live on half income and save the rest.
With regard to childcare we are going to be on our own with no help from parents, too, although I think this can be a mixed blessing. Some grandparents are great with little ones and love having them once a week.

Catzpaws

Dormouse wrote: »

The way I see it, there are two major issues: your career and childcare. Does your job pay enough for you to make it viable to return to work and pay for childcare? Or do you have family/parents etc who would look after the child for free? Is your career well established and you need to get back to it ASAP, or is it not that important?

My career is important, yes, but it's no longer a key focus. I currently earn approx £30k a year, but my current outgoings are quite high (with debt repayments, bills, and a fairly good standard of lifestyle...:rolleyes:). Since the start of the year, we've been putting a little money away, but nowhere near what we should be doing really... we are very poor at saving! Having said that, I have been slowly paying off my credit card debt so it's not all bad (she says).

Financially, I think it would probably make most sense to return to work full-time and pay for childcare. Not looked into these costs, so not certain. I really would not wish to rely on family to look after children on an extended basis - especially on full time hours. Having said that, I just simply cannot imagine working my current job, then doing all the mum/house stuff after work.

My career is fairly established and I can, quite possibly, work in the same job/industry on more flexible hours after having children. I wouldn't be in a rush to go back to the same job though... as mentioned, I would love to set up my own business, but, of course, would not be able to do this when children are very young!