Planning a baby and money - how's best to do this?

ginvzt

Catzpaws wrote: »

Sorry to hear that you have been TTC for 2 years and nothing's happened so far.

My company only pays SMP too... It's not a lot, is it? I know I should be saving more to supplement this meagre income that I'd have during maternity leave, but I can't seem to stop spending...

My OH would love for me to be a SAHM, but recognises that it is an unrealistic expectation. His mum was a SAHM (had to as dad was working away a lot) and he had a pretty idyllic childhood. On the other hand, both my parents worked extremely hard and were never around. Not saying there's any correlation at all between the two, but I had quite an uphappy childhood really (which goes far beyond who was and who wasn't at home whilst growing up - just to re-emphasise that point!).

Never mind about the 2 years - there are good days and there are bad days, when I just can't stop crying. Today is a good day!!!! I have my own ways of coping with it (we are renting current house, but I am redesigning it in my head if we were to buy it, at the moment - kitchen ).

I also earn about £30k. My OH earns about the same. I hope to get a pay rise in January (or the promotion, which I think I am due as they are charging clients higher rate for my work anyway!), my OH was told there will be a pay freeze this year. So, dropping to SMP would be huge shock. If I stay home for a year, the income for that year from SMP would be about £6K , instead of the £20+k I take home now. That gives me about 70% drop in income. But, then I don't have to drive to work, so would be saving at least £100 a month (I have 50 mile round journey...), less eating out an can plan meals better - so there are plenty of savings to be made.

Oh, and I can't stop spending as well. But when need comes, I am sure we will cope.

I would love to be SAHM, but it is just not feasible with our lives, I think. So, I'll have to go and work. I didn' have a particularly happy childhood either, but then I am not sure it was because my mum was working. She just never liked me much, I think - I have a younger brother and sister, which always got the more attention (fact). But it is not just about the attention, of course.

nm123_2

Hi there,

I'm also interested in this as whilst we're not yet TTC, I expect (hope!) we will be in the next 6-12 months...

I am deffo a saver so expect that OH and I would start a baby fund to cover off some of the pre-baby costs and then to compensate for the lack of income during ML. My current company has quite good ML (18 weeks 100%, 8 weeks 50% and then 26 statutory) but I earn £40k at the mo, so dropping down to just over £100 pw is going to be a shock to the system. Saying that, my travel costs £260 pm at the moment, so I wouldn't have that cost to contend with. I also pay just under £200pm in student loans, and it would be great to have that paid off before kids come along. But I'd like to take the full year off.

As for returning to work, I've always presumed that I'll be a working mum, maybe because my own mum worked whilst we were kids. My current employer is reknowned for flexible working so I'm sure it would be ok to do anything from working from home 5 days a week (although I think that would make me go mad) to working 3 days a week with 1-3 days at home/in the office. I think my preference would be to do 4 days per week with 2 at home.

My mum is dying for me to have kids and as she is semi-retired I think she would expect to be asked to help with childcare (she only lives around the corner) and although I imagine I would "make use" of this to an extent, it may also drive me insane having my mother in my life that much! Also friends of mine with children who were reluctant to put them in nursery at approx 1 year have actually found that it's been really great for the child, having the social interactions with other children and totally worth it.

I just wanted to add to the comment that someone else made about your company having to at the very least consider your request to flexible working... This is true, but it will be blown out of the water if you expect to work from home AND have the baby there with you... I'm certainly no child/baby expert, but I can't imagine being able to concentrate on my work with a screaming/sleeping/happy/hungry/needy/tired/laughing baby in the background. You would need to show that your working conditions at home are ideal and not going to interrupt or prevent productivity.

I'm such a "planner" and having something like a baby to plan for is WELL exciting (I'm such a geek).

Good luck everyone!

Catzpaws

teacherandmum wrote: »

i have returned to work full time when daughter was ten months. i found being at home very difficult and had/still have post natal depression. i find full time works for me even though childcare sets us back £150/week. working full time i csan also still afford things we like i.e. weekends away, car rallies, hobbies and we've also moved to a bigger house and had home improvements. we would not have afforded this is i aws a sahm.

Part of me thinks that I'll end up returning to work earlier than normal to get some 'normality' and to prevent cabin fever. But, of course, this is my thinking now. I don't fully know how I will feel in the future. On one hand, I would love to be Earth Mother and devote lots of time to the future little one. On the other hand, I think I would feel like I'd lose my sense of identity and need adult interaction. BUT, I find life stressful enough sometimes now, never mind with the matter of babies AND work AND less money to contend with!

I guess, really, I need to be flexible about things. But, importantly, having the money saved up would allow me to have freedom of choice - I think this is absolutely key to this.

Sorry for the waffling :rolleyes:... this is me thinking out loud! It's like virtual therapy!

The_Next_Verse

Catzpaws wrote: »

Part of me thinks that I'll end up returning to work earlier than normal to get some 'normality' and to prevent cabin fever. But, of course, this is my thinking now. I don't fully know how I will feel in the future. On one hand, I would love to be Earth Mother and devote lots of time to the future little one. On the other hand, I think I would feel like I'd lose my sense of identity and need adult interaction. BUT, I find life stressful enough sometimes now, never mind with the matter of babies AND work AND less money to contend with!

I guess, really, I need to be flexible about things. But, importantly, having the money saved up would allow me to have freedom of choice - I think this is absolutely key to this.

Sorry for the waffling :rolleyes:... this is me thinking out loud! It's like virtual therapy!

I'm virtually in the same situation to you and am currently feeling the same way! In fact, I couldn't have written it better myself.

Virtual therapy is brilliant isn't it!

At the end of the day, as people say... it's never the right time and you never have the money that you want to start a family. You just cope with what you have.

I'd love to have loads of savings to let me take a year off work without too much trouble, but personally for me, that would take another few years to accrue and the biological clock is ticking as they say!

Anyway, best of luck to you in whatever you decide. I'm sure you'll make the right choice for you, and baby2be.

~The Next Verse