A Friend In Need.

Minimum_Wage_2

she only has a mobile and he cant get through to her on it, no landline and she doesn't talk to him on the pc.

Minimum_Wage_2

she said that she would help him with the trust and to get over the hurt, to which she isn't doing any of it.

Zazen999

Minimum_Wage wrote: »

she only has a mobile and he cant get through to her on it, no landline and she doesn't talk to him on the pc.

Minimum_Wage wrote: »

she said that she would help him with the trust and to get over the hurt, to which she isn't doing any of it.

She's lying; he needs to move on.

myaccount08

Starting afresh means from this day forward. What do they have to be "answerable for"? It sounds unhealthy and complicated, no one should be made to feel guilty for things like that, sounds like emotional blackmail.

Maybe she was just on the rebound and now really regrets sleeping with that other person, he should be able to accept that and get over it, if he cannot then they shouldn't be together again.

You don't get into a relationship to help someone with things - that isn't a relationship it's a carer or a dependency. What does he need help with? could he get this help from elsewhere? Maybe you could help your friend?

Minxy_Bella

Ok - either English is your second language, in which case you're really not making your point very clearly - so you need to think through exactly what you're asking and retype it, using some punctuation, so that you are communicating precisely what you are attempting to say....

OR you're having a Sunday night laugh - because you're not listening to what people are telling you and just repeating yourself over and over again. What you are writing is nonsensical nor are you answering any questions you've been posed, so I won't be wasting any more time on this thread until you do.

No offence, like :rolleyes:

Errata

They'd broken up so if she wanted to sleep with the whole of the British army and its horses that was her business and nothing to do with him.
Maybe he needs to slow down a bit and let her set the pace. Telling her he's offering her 'a fresh start' sounds rather controlling and ungracious.

myaccount08

Minimum_Wage wrote: »

she said that she would help him with the trust and to get over the hurt, to which she isn't doing any of it.

And how is he expecting her to do this? They just need to get on with the new relationship together and his broken heart should heal over time with the new happy experiences they have together. Trust takes time to develop, it's not something you "help" someone with. Being picky over the number of texts she is sending is just barmy and over analytical, i think the issues are his own emotional/mental problems rather than her behaviour.

If he just feels ignored then they need to discuss it so they can each explain their expectations. You make it all sound so urgent (bit crazy), maybe she is just busy! If she continues to ignore him for an extended period i'd guess she just feels sorry for him and doesn't know how to get rid of him.

Poly,put_the_kettle_on

Minimum_Wage wrote: »

she said that she would help him with the trust and to get over the hurt, to which she isn't doing any of it.

But she hasn't breached his trust. He may be hurt- I can see that. But there's no trust issue to get over. HE needs to get around the fact that she's done nothing wrong- and stop punishing her.

Yes, he's wounded & jealous. But they weren't together, so her "helping him get over it" in any way is a bonus, not something she's duty or morally bound to do.

However, it sounds like she may well be reconsidering the situation anyway. Some things are just not meant to be.

Minimum_Wage_2

just trying to give a friend some helpfully advice, something that i haven't already said to him.
if i was to explain the whole story then i'd be here all night, i have just given you the main facts.

paddy's_mum

No-one needs to have experienced the exactly identical circumstances to understand what is going on in a similar situation. If the worst pain someone has ever felt is a tooth abcess, does that mean they can't understand that an amputation will be painful?

Given the further bits of information that are gradually drip-dripping into this thread, it sounds as though the poor woman is being pressured into being more deeply committed to your friend and their relationship than she wants to be or else has been so astounded by his reaction/s to her private life away from him that she is feeling swamped by his demands or expectations. Even you can't know what is truly going on and we can only make educated guesses, however well-intentioned they may be.

However, if their perceptions of good behaviour, honesty and trust are as poles apart as they appear to be from your comments, then I would guess that they have little hope for a sound future together. Perhaps if that is the case, they would be better calling it a day and avoid any further turmoil. Whichever course they choose, I wish them well.