Boyfriend been looking at dodgy stuff on the net

windswept

foxy-roxy wrote: »

i have no problem with !!!!!! and he knows that, he has dvd's and i have watched them with him a few times, its just the sneakiness of it that shocked me, but like i say the !!!!!! stuff - not bothered about now, it was me best mate that got to me, but will let it go i think.
As some of you have said there could be alot worse things and looking at women only shows he is a healthy red blooded male, but i think our relationship has gone stale and he may be bored with my body as he certainly doesn't drool over me anymore lol.
Ah well i suppose thats what happens after several years together.

Thank you for all you replies, it really has helped me see that it is not such a big deal after all.:T

That's NOT what should happen after only a few years together - my hubby still lusts after me after more than 25 years together, and I lust after him.
I don't agree that !!!!!! is "harmless fun" for everyone, some people over use it and that's when it becomes dangerous, there are plenty of sad little men who prefer !!!!!! to a real life sexual relationship, so it's not always healthy, if you don't like it then you really DONT have to accept it's just what men do.
!!!!!! is for those with a limited imagination imho.;)

dixie_dean_2

The thing with him looking at your mate is more than likely curiosity. If he was looking at her repatedly then maybe it's an issue but if I found one of my mates or fiancee's mates did some glamour, haha, shots I'd be straighht on there. I dont think thats weird.

Dormouse

foxy-roxy wrote: »

it was me best mate that got to me, but will let it go i think.

TBH your mate is a glamour model and you really don't expect your BF (or any male friend) to be slightly curious?

If my DH had a male model friend, I'd definitely check out his website :rotfl:

I'd say if he's been to check her website once that's perfectly natural, but if he starts visiting it regularly then that would concern me.

The fact that he says negative things about her but still went on her site doesn't mean anything - it's probably just curiousity. As I said, if my DH's friend was a male glamour model () and I really hated him, I would still go and see his pics, even if just for a laugh.

zippychick

foxy-roxy wrote: »

i have no problem with !!!!!! and he knows that, he has dvd's and i have watched them with him a few times, its just the sneakiness of it that shocked me, but like i say the !!!!!! stuff - not bothered about now, it was me best mate that got to me, but will let it go i think.
As some of you have said there could be alot worse things and looking at women only shows he is a healthy red blooded male, but i think our relationship has gone stale and he may be bored with my body as he certainly doesn't drool over me anymore lol.
Ah well i suppose thats what happens after several years together.

Thank you for all you replies, it really has helped me see that it is not such a big deal after all.:T

Maybe you both need to spice things up a little then

dixie_dean_2

I think by the sounds of it a threesome with the mate would be just the ticket.

foxy-roxy

Well dixie dean i was just about to thank you for your previous comment, thinking that you talked sense, well as a fellow blue we must be on the same wave length, shame your above comment let you down lol.:rolleyes:
A threesome would most definitley not be the ticket:mad:
anyways, i have spent this afternoon with him and its been fine but i am goin out with the girls tonight to cheer myself up and am gonna doll meself up and see his reaction, hopefully he will jump on me:rotfl:

zippychick

foxy-roxy wrote: »

Well dixie dean i was just about to thank you for your previous comment, thinking that you talked sense, well as a fellow blue we must be on the same wave length, shame your above comment let you down lol.:rolleyes:
A threesome would most definitley not be the ticket:mad:
anyways, i have spent this afternoon with him and its been fine but i am goin out with the girls tonight to cheer myself up and am gonna doll meself up and see his reaction, hopefully he will jump on me:rotfl:

I think it was perhaps tongue in cheek

dixie_dean_2

It was tongue in cheek. And yes, us blues have got to stick together. have fun tonight. Although, actually, as a former VERY jealous person I would advise against deliberately making him jealous and would recommend just being honest with him and talking about it.

maggied_2

Would agree with astrowife here - his behaviour is appalling! It must be exhausting for him checking up on you all the time - surprised he's got the energy for his 'internet based activities'!!
Anyway - looking at !!!!!! - no biggie. A bit pathetic (my OH does it) but it's scratching an itch (in the greater scheme I don't think it is completely harmless but that's for another time). Actually since I asked OH if we could watch it together he's gone off it - not as much fun if it's not furtive??!!
Flirting with girls on facebook - not OK. At all. If you're not even allowed to be away from your desk then how can he possibly think this is even remotely ok? Definite hypocrite alert (I was married to someone just like him!).

As for looking at your friend....I totally understand why it would make you feel uncomfortable. However.....if one of my OH's friends had a website like that I reckon curiosity would get the better of me and I'd have to have a peek!

Gavin83

An interesting topic this one.

I don't really see an issue with the !!!!!! to be honest as long as it isn't affecting your sex life. I watch !!!!!! and I watch !!!!!! with my girlfriend sometimes. I do prefer watching it on my own but only because I'd rather get turned on by my girlfriend when we're together than by something as fake as !!!!!!.

My girlfriend recently went to a hen party and saw a stripper, I don't see this as any different to !!!!!! for a guy.

If however you don't feel he lusts after you anymore it's a seperate issue entirely. I think maybe you should get to the bottom of his boredom, which could be due to a number of reasons. Without looking too much into your sex life, maybe you need to be a bit more adventurous and discuss fantasies with each other? Maybe you could watch some !!!!!! with him or dress up or something.

I think the main issue in your relationship is that of trust. You both sound like paranoid people when it comes to your relationship and you really need to discuss your trust issues. I don't think it's acceptable to look through peoples phones/emails without their permission and you need to find out why you both feel the need to do this. When he rings up to check on you btw what does he say? How do you know he's looking through your phone?

I don't think the 'flirting' on facebook was a massive issue (without knowing the exact content) but can understand why you were upset over it. However, you discussed it, he's stopped and therefore I think you should leave it in the past. I can't see anything wrong at all with calling someone babe or putting kisses on the end of the message but calling someone pretty out of context is pushing it a little.

I also don't really see the problem with looking at your friends Website either. It was probably curiousity more than anything and if I was him I'd have had a look too, as would most people. I think the only real issue is if he keeps revisiting.

So in short I think your being a tiny bit picky on certain issues and despite what you say you seem jealous also. Im sure if you both work on this jealousy your relationship will run a lot smoother and with less worry.