Going out on a date

Floss

RickHoughton wrote: »

Too quick?? Maybe you could tell me how long I've been seperated then?? Oh hang on, you can't, so do me a favour and shut up. I was asking for advice on where to go for a date, not for people to judge me for moving on too fast.......
As was said by someone else, I did mention in the first post that I was getting a divorce.

Sorry, but that was my personal opinion - which is what you will get if you post on an open forum. And no, I don't know - because you haven't told the complete story.

RickHoughton wrote: »

my soon to be ex wife is a !!!!!!??....

....The rest of you, well, I can't write what I really want to.

Why not? You did about your wife!

RickHoughton

Floss wrote: »

Sorry, but that was my personal opinion - which is what you will get if you post on an open forum. And no, I don't know - because you haven't told the complete story.



Why not? You did about your wife!

I shouldn't have to explain the whole story though, all I wanted was some advice on taking a woman out on a date. Sorry for being inexperienced in the world of women, I'd been with my wife for over 11 years and don't have a lot of experience in dating etc.If you really want the whole story I can give you it in a PM or an email if you really want to know.

What I say about my wife, and what I say about people I don't know are 2 totally different things.

Thanks for the advice though Floss

Zazen999

Rick:

As a child whose mother found a man and was introduced to him very early on; I really wouldn't advise going on a first/second or third date with anyone with their kids in attendance. I knew my OH and was dating him for 6 months before I met his daughter. It really isn't fair on the kids to spend time with mummy's new friend and then to perhaps never see him again. Just my opinion.

galvanizersbaby

OP I thought your seafront idea was a good one for a day date (weather permitting)

If I were you I wouldn't bother going to the trouble of responding to those that are judging - you don't have to explain the whole story.

Good luck

janninew

Hi OP
Maybe the best way to think about this is not to call it a date, just 2 parents meeting up with their kids! Which there is nothing wrong with! I think as the youngest child is 1 your options are a little limited! A walk on the sea front is a good idea! We have a couple of pubs near me which have a soft play area in, you can sit and have a meal whilst the children play!

Good luck whatever you do!
Jannine

financegirl

RickHoughton wrote: »

I shouldn't have to explain the whole story though, all I wanted was some advice on taking a woman out on a date. Sorry for being inexperienced in the world of women, I'd been with my wife for over 11 years and don't have a lot of experience in dating etc.

What a load of rubbish - any pair of MATURE adults, would have the awareness and consideration not to haul their kids along to their first date!!!

I can't believe you are even asking where to take them on a first date with their mum - they shouldn't be coming along!!! They are 1 and 8 and I think it also says a hell of a lot about your date, that she is so desperate for a date, she will drag her poor kids along.

You should be meeting privately, ALONE and I don't buy that rubbish about a babysitter, there is always options, after work, lunchbreaks, when kids are in bed etc.

galvanizersbaby

financegirl wrote: »

What a load of rubbish - any pair of MATURE adults, would have the awareness and consideration not to haul their kids along to their first date!!!

I can't believe you are even asking where to take them on a first date with their mum - they shouldn't be coming along!!! They are 1 and 8 and I think it also says a hell of a lot about your date, that she is so desperate for a date, she will drag her poor kids along.

You should be meeting privately, ALONE and I don't buy that rubbish about a babysitter, there is always options, after work, lunchbreaks, when kids are in bed etc.

You only get lunchbreaks if you work - perhaps this lady is a sahm - perhaps it's not appropriate to meet in the evening?

A date doesn't have to have a romantic theme does it - it could just be a day out enjoying the company of others.

zippychick

financegirl wrote: »

What a load of rubbish - any pair of MATURE adults, would have the awareness and consideration not to haul their kids along to their first date!!!

I can't believe you are even asking where to take them on a first date with their mum - they shouldn't be coming along!!! They are 1 and 8 and I think it also says a hell of a lot about your date, that she is so desperate for a date, she will drag her poor kids along.

You should be meeting privately, ALONE and I don't buy that rubbish about a babysitter, there is always options, after work, lunchbreaks, when kids are in bed etc.

But you don't know this womans circumstances, so how can you assume it is so easy for her to have time out without the kids. You don't.

How do you know she is desperate for a date? You don't. Is it possible she likes the OP and rather than cancel and appear uninterested, she suggested bringing the kids along? So she doesn't risk him saying "Oh well just leave it then".

I understand not introducing kids to potential partners etc, but she could just say it's Mummys friend from work/gym/class/etc! It's not like they are introducing the man as mummys new boyfriend!

How can she come out for a date if the kids are in bed and she has no babysitter? Wouldn't that be abandonment? If she left the kids with someone untrustworthy , just to get out on a date, she would be berated for that!

How do you know she works? You don't

You seem to jump to a lot of conclusions!

Honestly! :rolleyes:

OP, what about a picnic in a nice park or beach? Some good ideas already. Let us know what you decide and good luck

Edit - I see some crossover with Galvanizersbaby

maggied_2

Goodness don't people get aerated!
Rick - ignore the nasty knee jerk comments....totally unnecessary. Amazing what people can get annoyed about (don't even get me started on the thread about people getting very angry about people they don't know not having joint bank accounts.....jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus). :eek:

I think it's brilliant you've got the guts to be moving on....however....I would really urge you to think carefully about meeting up with this woman and her children if it's the first time. I think it's a lovely thing to do and I think the seafront / icecream idea sounds fab......in a few months' time.
It just isn't fair on the children (and I'm saying this as an evil old step mum ). I really do think children should be gently introduced once you have something established with this woman and you've an idea you'll be sticking around (and vice versa when it comes to her and your children I suppose).

My DSD's mum has had lots of boyfriends over the past few years and introduces them all at the speed of light. DSD has spent Christmas with men she now doesn't see, been on day trips, been dropped off at school.....it's really confusing for her and I think it's giving her a weird idea about relationships. I'm not saying you would do any of those things but I think it's far from ideal.

That said whatever you decide, good luck and I hope it all works out - sounds like you've had a rough ride and things are looking up.

financegirl

zippychick wrote: »

But you don't know this womans circumstances, so how can you assume it is so easy for her to have time out without the kids. You don't.

How do you know she is desperate for a date? You don't. Is it possible she likes the OP and rather than cancel and appear uninterested, she suggested bringing the kids along? So she doesn't risk him saying "Oh well just leave it then".

I understand not introducing kids to potential partners etc, but she could just say it's Mummys friend from work/gym/class/etc! It's not like they are introducing the man as mummys new boyfriend!

How can she come out for a date if the kids are in bed and she has no babysitter? Wouldn't that be abandonment? If she left the kids with someone untrustworthy , just to get out on a date, she would be berated for that!

How do you know she works? You don't

You seem to jump to a lot of conclusions!

Honestly! :rolleyes:

OP, what about a picnic in a nice park or beach? Some good ideas already. Let us know what you decide and good luck

Edit - I see some crossover with Galvanizersbaby

How patronising are you? I am perfectly entitled to my opinion on an open forum and I stand by my point that I think it is wrong on so many levels to take children on a first date.

Shock horror - not everyone agrees with everyone all the time - there are going to be very different opinions on this board - Op/others take them on board and then make stick to their own decisions.

If you don't like it, don't read it.