Buffy's Moving on Diary

beanielou

Huggles hun.
I so hope you are ok xxx

beanielou

Meant to say I think you should go off sick.
Get your GP to sigh you off.

System

Set where your energy wants to go, not where you think it should go. Do something because it feels right, not because it makes sense. Follow the spiritual impulse. Trust your instincts. x

System

Oh, Ive sent you a PM too. Hope you're ok Buffy x

Shoe_Gal

Nothing helpful to say - just sending you much love :A

You have been given some good advice here, a DMP wouldn't be the end of the world if you were happier!

Buffythedebtslayer

Pollydaydream wrote: »

Buffy, I hope you don't mind me dropping in. I was just having a bit of a mooch around the diaries, and I just couldn't go without saying something.

I've quoted you above because I soooo know this feeling - I teach in FE; trust me it's no better. If I don't work (or do things to get ready for work) at the weekend, I have to work every night just to have something to teach the next day. On Wednesday night I was up until after midnight, Thursday night, I was up until 12.30 marking and up again at 5.00 am to finish it and prepare a lesson.

I've just been posting on my own diary about how work is something to 'survive' at the moment (I've also posted how going to bed early enough so that you know you will have enough sleep is a treat - how sad is that. I'm getting a bit fed up with my students asking me if I'm alright and telling me I look tired!).

I think the problem is that there really is too much work to do - it seems obvious, I know, but most other jobs it just wouldn't get done; because we know it's going to affect our students, if we care, we make sure it's done, even if we have to go without sleep. I'm starting to think, a bit militantly, that if we keep doing it, they (the government, the managers - don't start me, is there a single decent manager in education or are they all a load of *?!!!s?) - anyway, if we keep doing it, they'll think we can and give us more work!

I don't know what the answer is at the moment - like you I feel trapped until I've paid my debts (over half term I worked out how much redundancy money I'd get; I'd be penniless but debt-free and out of that place, so it's now one of my favourite day dreams )

Sorry, I think I've rabbited on as if I was on my own diary and I haven't been much help -hope I haven't made you feel worse. Perhaps we could swap survival tips until things get better (and I know they will).

Try and get some sleep.

Polly

Thank you Polly, I meant to answer last night but my internet went wrong (on topof everything else!)

Your post made me feel a lot better, I just simply cannot keep up withot making huge sacrifices in practically all other areas of my life. I honestly don't know how I managed today.

I managed to finish the assembly by the skin of my teeth - we doing it this week. Most of my lessons were crap tho. They aren't normally. but I am just glad I didn't burst in to floods of tears to be honest

thanks again xxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

LouiseJ wrote: »

Buffy...........:grouphug:
Nothing really constructive or helpful to say, just wanted to know that I am always here for you my friend xxx


........and Polly, even though I dont know you have a :grouphug: too.

You are lovely lou xxxxx thank you xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

chevalier wrote: »

get signed off on long term sick cos of stress, then do a DMP. ......

ok i know that that is a bit extreme, but it woudl solve two problems in one go, not having to go to that horrible school, and paying your debts off more slowly

Seriously Buffy how old are you? This isn't a rehearsal, no one for NO REASON should have to put up with this much stress and upset. If you got a lower paying job, well so what, you would just have to do what thousands have done, and do a DMP. Ok so the debt would be there longer but it would be liveable with.

I know that wouldn't solve the issue of still living with your mum, but it would be two MAJOR weights off your back.

Wish i was there to give you a hug in person... ((((((hugs)))))

chev

beanielou wrote: »

Huggles hun.
I so hope you are ok xxx

beanielou wrote: »

Meant to say I think you should go off sick.
Get your GP to sigh you off.

I have thought about it loads. One member of staff has already gone and been given an out from her contract.

I just think what they are doing is so wrong. A big part of me just DOES NOT want them to win.

Another part of me would like it all to stop. I just feel I should be managing better and I cannot seem to get a handle on it. I have the time in the evenings. but always find something else to do or fall asleep. I am writing new resources and then the meetings. I have tried going in early, working sat(sometimes works) I feel like such a failure. Its never been this bad.

Tonight i am going to watch CSI look at tomorrow's lessons and go to bed.

Perhaps if I can manage this week, finish some house stuff at the weekend oh I don't know!

lets just start with ice cream and bed!

thank you xxxxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

lennymfo wrote: »

Set where your energy wants to go, not where you think it should go. Do something because it feels right, not because it makes sense. Follow the spiritual impulse. Trust your instincts. x

lennymfo wrote: »

Oh, Ive sent you a PM too. Hope you're ok Buffy x

Thank you Len you are very kind you know, I have the book (never really understood it) and I will think about what you said. and Chev too about how life shouldn't be this stressful.

hmmm lots to think about

Thanks again
xxxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

Nothing helpful to say - just sending you much love :A

You have been given some good advice here, a DMP wouldn't be the end of the world if you were happier!

Hmmm. Think my brain might explode with all the thinking! I think I would feel like such a failure? I honestly don't know.

thank you tho mate very glad you are here xxxx