I have literally no money!

ecoelle

Wow.

Have just read this whole thread and now have alovely warm glow. I am someone who tries to help others where i can, either with offers of time or abilities but i can't afford money. This thread has shown that it's not all about giving people money, the advice and friendship will last a lot longer than any cash given. To all who have read and posted i think you deserve a shiny well done sticker!

I'm pleased that BIW has had such support and that others reading this may also benefit from the posts people have made.

We will all have troubled times in our lives, both financially and emotionally and it's nice to know that strangers can make such a difference.

msgnomey

Glad you are feeling better BIW cous cous is great..it's my stand by for when i cant be bothered to make a packed lunch

budget_2

I feel for you I have husband and 2 children tonight we have pancakes not sure what will happen tomorrow it's another day.

Debt at present 40,000.00 and trying despreatly to survive.

Flower08

budget wrote: »

I feel for you I have husband and 2 children tonight we have pancakes not sure what will happen tomorrow it's another day.

Debt at present 40,000.00 and trying despreatly to survive.

Have you though about starting a new thread and putting your SOA up so some people can have a look at it and give you some ideas where you can make changes.

brokeinwales

You know what, I have been in a similar state recently and after ploughing through various credit cards, borrowing nearly a grand off my dad and scraping for pennies (the guy in the costcutter actually loaned me some loo rolls cos I couldn't pay!), I think it's time to get money into perpective! When I have it, I spend it. I spend it all, like it's on fire and burning my fingers and I must throw it at the shops. When I don't have money, I still spend it, but I scrimp and save every penny. However, I never seem to learn the lesson.

I can associate a little with this.
For most of my adult life I've had enough money to pay for my essentials, but I can't remember ever feeling like I had enough to treat myself without guilt. I don't remember ever not having a vague feeling of anxiety about money - knowing that if "something happened" I wouldn't have the money available to deal with it. And I guess recently (as you saw near the start of the thread) taht "something" finally happened.

I don't know about the rest of you - but my ideal situation, the one I daydream about, isn't having bags of money to spend as I choose - it's about being able to relax and know that I have enough money saved up ti cover any emergencies that may happen. It's not about sports cars and fancy holidays - it's about being able, now and then, to be able to treat myself or someone else without having a sense of guilt about it. I don't know if people who've never been in financial trouble really understand the value of simply not being stressed about money. Truth is I obsess about it constantly - it's one of the biggest causes of anxiety in my life. If only I could nail down how to manage it, a system that sticks, rather than a quick fix that helps me out for a week, or a month or two, but then falls apart and doesn't address my long term relationship with this whole thing.

I'm sure many of you associate with this anyway!PAying off one's current debts is only part of the battle, I feel like the main point is to work out where you went wrong and understand how not to do it again. Which despite what many people who aren't quite so "financially challenged" say - probably isn't as easy as it sounds. I don't know how many of you feel this too, but money definetly has emotional connotations for me.
Thi is doubled in my case by some of my feelings about my work. I would, if I'm honest, like to earn more money - but don't really feel that I'm capable of it. I don't have any specific skills, I'm not brilliant with people, and I don't really know what I want to do - so I end up drifting and never getting anyway. I have this hope that one day I'll try my hand at something and turn out to be brilliant at it and suddenly I'll have found my niche in life!

But anyway - I guess I'm feeling a bit pensive today. I've got all this stuff floating around my head. I don't mean to be depressing (!) in many ways I actually feel quite positive. I am doing so much better than I was a month ago after all - I can actually afford to eat for a start! And I've drawn up a budget, and I'm paying off my debts and all is well. But to be honest, what scares me is that this is just one more quick fix - that I'll pay of some, even all, of what I owe, but ultimately things won't change: I'll still be "bad with money" I'll still be stressed about it, I'll still feel stuck, and I'll not be entirely confident of not getting into this mess again.

I suppose this is particularly relevant to people who have debts that are pressing, but relatively small. I'd be fascinated to know if anyone else uffers from "The Fear" that what they're doing, while useful, is just some kind of quick fix. How do you make sure you're actually addressing the root of the problem, rather than just soothing the symptoms.

incesticde

brokeinwales wrote: »

I suppose this is particularly relevant to people who have debts that are pressing, but relatively small. I'd be fascinated to know if anyone else uffers from "The Fear" that what they're doing, while useful, is just some kind of quick fix. How do you make sure you're actually addressing the root of the problem, rather than just soothing the symptoms.

Can only speak for myself (and so I will!) but the real test comes when you are debt free, not now.

Now you have a goal, a challenge. Being a DFW is real, tangible thing.

Once you are debt free you don't have that challenge any more and that's when you need to find another one.

For instance saving as much as you can, paying off your mortgage earlier, visiting your long lost aunt in Tanzania that sort of thing.

My challenges after I became DF were :

1. Have enough money to get an iphone (I'm shallow)
2. Have enough money in savings to be able to handle losing my job for a month
3. Have enough money in savings to be able to handle losing my job for 2 months
4. Have enough money in savings to be able to handle losing my job for 3 months
5. Have enough money in savings to be able to go on holiday in california without affecting my other savings

etc etc. I'll probably have money challenges for the rest of my life, it'll never be a natural thing for me

It's when you don't have a challenge and lose focus that you fall back into your old ways (Oh I'll buy that plasma screen on credity as I can afford it now I'm DF)

Good luck!

SazM030306

Very well said incesticde!
xxx

Katyag

brokeinwales wrote: »

Update on landlady situation: I sent off a letter demanding my deposit back yesterday afternoon. When I got home last night I had one of those "sorry you were out we have a recorded delivery item for you please come and collect between 9:40 and 9:45 on Monday bringing eight forms of identification and a note from your mother." cards. I have my fingers crossed that this is my cheque from the landlords (though even if it isn't I'm kind of intrigued...) and the whole matter will be done with. The amount it should be for would pay off almost all of my biggest overdraft debt.

Did you go and collect your recorded delivery? Was it from your landlady?

Daffykjs

brokeinwales wrote: »

I don't know about the rest of you - but my ideal situation, the one I daydream about, isn't having bags of money to spend as I choose - it's about being able to relax and know that I have enough money saved up ti cover any emergencies that may happen. It's not about sports cars and fancy holidays - it's about being able, now and then, to be able to treat myself or someone else without having a sense of guilt about it. I don't know if people who've never been in financial trouble really understand the value of simply not being stressed about money. Truth is I obsess about it constantly - it's one of the biggest causes of anxiety in my life. If only I could nail down how to manage it, a system that sticks, rather than a quick fix that helps me out for a week, or a month or two, but then falls apart and doesn't address my long term relationship with this whole thing.

I'm sure many of you associate with this anyway!PAying off one's current debts is only part of the battle, I feel like the main point is to work out where you went wrong and understand how not to do it again. Which despite what many people who aren't quite so "financially challenged" say - probably isn't as easy as it sounds. I don't know how many of you feel this too, but money definetly has emotional connotations for me.
Thi is doubled in my case by some of my feelings about my work. I would, if I'm honest, like to earn more money - but don't really feel that I'm capable of it. I don't have any specific skills, I'm not brilliant with people, and I don't really know what I want to do - so I end up drifting and never getting anyway. I have this hope that one day I'll try my hand at something and turn out to be brilliant at it and suddenly I'll have found my niche in life!

I totally relate to all this!! I don't want to be rich, just at a point where i don't have to think about every penny I spend! Or feel guilty for every penny i spend that's not on essentials!

Also, I hate my job!! I do it because i stupidly got a degree in it and the money has gone up but i still got into debt, and now i couldn't afford to quit and take the paycut required to do smething i might actually enjoy anyway! so I'm stuck! Stuck until at least i get debt free! then maybe with my new (i hope this comes soon! ) moneysmart attitude I may just be able to do it! who knows! fingers crossed!

I think the small next challenge idea is a good one! but i do worry it still feels like always having to worry about money, whereas ideally i'd like to be able to at some point in my life, not have to worry about money! Guess i can dream!

craig_29

I've been struggling lately with money and I had some advice from a work colleague who is a single parent with 4 kids. ASDA do packs of noodles for 9 pence each and they are enough to fill you up, I went along and bought 10 packs and it cost less than a £1. If you want to mix it up a bit you can buy some tins of sweetcorn as well. In all you can stock up for less than £2 and it should see you through the 2 weeks.