What else can I do?

Greenwellies_2

It's a shame, but his parents are not like that. One christmas I had TB. so we said they are welcome to come to dinner, but could they smoke outside. If looks could kill!

Even last year, in the summer we were in our tent and MIL joined us, she the proceded to light up!

The MIL can be a nightmare.

When we do have get-togthers, we only have a pizza delivered, but split the bill but as they end up coming to ours, we're expected to provide the drinks when the bottle they bring has gone.

*sigh*

GW

sweetmoneysaver

Sorry to hear that your MIL is so inconsiderate. Sounds like whatever you do, you will upset her. Can't be much fun.

Bloke_with_a_simple_life

Forgive me - but I'm not 100% understanding this situation - what is your husband doing to help you and the family here?

Couple of things:
1. He's looking for a permanent job, but does not seem to be trying to bring in additional income from a temporary "in between" job - a couple of people have suggested this, but no feedback on this situation.

2. YOU say your inlaws don't understand your problem totally - what is your husband doing to correct their impression? Shouldn't be totally upto you to resolve the communication with them

3. You put your shoulder out whilst bulk buying - does he not help with the heavy shopping etc?

How much of the family financial problems are you taking on and shielding from your husband? Does he fully understand the problems the whole family is in? Does he appreciate the SOA? It may be me, but I don't think you are getting his support (either because he doesn't understand or doesn't feel under pressure to understand maybe - maybe not).

Also - may to you that you need a 2nd card - don'y honestly think you can afford a 2nd one. One needs to be sold to repay the outstanding loan. What's public transport like in your area? It may not be as convenient as having a 2nd car - but I don't think you can afford the 2nd car luxury.

You and your husband need to work out how to get on with just 1 car - may require sharing and lifts and inconvenient (in comparison) - but not as inconvenient as being in more debt.

Oh the inlaws - why not arrange to go round and see them more regularly? Would savbe on going out for pizzas and also probably ensure you don't have to go out to a restaurant for Christmas as you will be seeing them more often? SAves them coming round to see you too (and you finding the money and food to feed them)!

May have got things completely wrong here - but don't think so.

Good lucj

Greenwellies_2

Hi,

Sorry there was so many replies I couldn't remember everything!

Hubby has been applying for every job under the sun, that's reasonable. He's attended a few interviews and been knocked back, even when one said that he was ideal for the job.
His self -esteem is at rock bottom and he's on the verge of depression.
The problem I forsee now, is that he comes across as desperate.
I am very responsible for him being redundant. He was offered a job 30 miles away, but would lose the company vehicle, so we would have been worse off (and needed the second car) I said to him that I would not support him if he took the job. (there were other issues in the fact that he would hardly be at home and home life would be very difficult)

If I could sell the car I won, then I would, but to sell it for 1/3rd of it's value is silly. I can try again soon, now that the weather has picked up.

I am managing this mostly to myself, hubby does get a run down of what I have identified, but he was never one to pay the bills. He has taken this seriously, he cleared his tools out of the shed yesterday and we have listed some bits on ebay this evening. Although I wrote the write up, he weighed them worked out the postage and took the pics etc.

Also, while he has been off, he has been very busy around the house. Redecorated the kitchen, moved radiators, done some DIY at my office. He really wants to decorate the hallway, it gives him a purpose and something to get out of bed for in the morning.
He's also been on a training course to gain new skills. But it was only an internal course and doesn't relate to a recognised qualification.

Thanks everyone for your support, thoughts, opinions and ideas. I really do appreciate them

GW

tyllwyd

It's a bit of a desperate measure, but would it be an option for you to put your degree on hold, and work full time until your husband is back at work?

kuohu

I've only had a quick look at this and I'm no expert, but it appears that you have monthly outgoings of around 2200 and incomings 1700, and that assumes that you cancel *all* non-essential spending on those holidays, big meal in China Town etc. (I think you know already that they've definitely got to be cancelled unless your hubby finds work pretty soon).

Others have pointed out that you have big savings to be made by cutting back, particularly on food, but the job situation for your OH is just as urgent. Can he do some temporary work whilst looking for work in his field? What does he do? Was there no redundancy payout? Are all jobseeking avenues being explored? (Agencies, websites like Monster, local speculative approaches/enquiries, local press, usenet newsgroups, specialist magazines, local contacts in the particular industry/field, etc etc).

No need to answer these questions of course, they are just things that spring to mind.

Good luck.

sweetmoneysaver

It is always hard for the person who was made redundant as no matter what the situation, it still feels like you are not wanted. It's good that he has things to do but at the moment and is helping to generate some income from selling items around the house. However, the things to do will run out and job hunting has to become the priority. The best thing to keep going is a set routine. A few good books to try with job hunting and interview techniques are:

Finding a Job: How to Write a Perfect CV in a Weekend (Finding a Job)
Sarah Berry

Great Answers to Tough Interview Questions
Martin John Yate

Sorry if I am telling you something he already knows. I was facing a redundancy situation myself when the whole department was shut down (have secured temp work at the same place for the time being). These books have great sections on how to get to interview (which your husband has already managed) and how to increase your success in getting a job offer. Sounds like one time he was unlucky but there are some great tips which just may motivate him again.

Good luck.

Greenwellies_2

Thanks,

He's a lorry driver.
Searching the internet is not an easy task, but we have been doing it. I also have some links, so I have been putting my networking skills to the test!

The job market is very, very competative at the moment and he's not the most confident person anyway, but now, well....

As for working full time. It's not an option as my boss won't allow it (I work for a charity)

I have told WFT that he's unemployed, so I hope we get a payment from that. As for redundancy money, I put that aside for the training that he went on, I thought it would be better spent that way!
The training was good, he had ideas of becoming self employed, but then people put doubts in his mind, and now he's scared that he can't hack the full on-training that it requires.

He knows that I will support hom 100% but he's concerned that there isnt enough time for us both to study (and he's right in part because I am so far behind in my studies.)

I don't want to have a break in my degree, I'm not sure if I could for one, but also I have a very good support network with fellow studiers, and I wouldn't like to lose that.

I've always been one to be very mentally active, but this all has me beat at the moment!

GW

Greenwellies_2

Could you put the ISBN on here, so that I can search for them.

Thanks.

I have even brought the Paul McKenna confidence book, but I think that was pushing it.

GW

Greenwellies_2

crawley_girl wrote:

Are you claiming Council Tax Benefit?

Not yet, we have to wait for the JSA decission to come through

GW