What else can I do?

kuohu

I'm really glad that a few of you have posted what you have, because I too was getting very frustrated with this thread and the way that every suggestion seems to have been batted away by the OP. In a thread titled 'What else can I do?' there seem to have been lots and lots else that the OP can do (but won't), including selling a spare car (!), downsizing food budgets, cancelling expensive holidays, university courses and big family events, spending money on home redecoration to keep hubby busy etc.

There has to be more to the story, since with a £500 deficit each month (incomings versus outgoings) I would be at absolute panic stations if it was me, plus I would accept the first agency work that comes my way whether it was the sort of work I was trained for or not. (And yes I have been made redundant in the past and yes I have done unskilled manual work for short periods to get by and pay the rent).

Livinginhope above says she doesn't think you have had your lightbulb moment. I agree entirely.

I am not sure whether to hit the Post Message button because I know this is a negative post and possibly not helpful. It is also judgemental to an extent as well, which again is wrong I know. But, well, it's just how I feel.

I do hope you see the light at some point very soon.

jesster_2

I know it sounds harsh GW, but I think what you've got to keep in mind is that all this 'reasoning' doesn't pay your debts. Pounds pay debts, and the only way you're going to pay them is to stop spending pounds on other things.

A bargain is only a bargain if you really need it. ANd the fact is that you don't need the holidays (however cheap) or the vastly overpriced christmas dinner.

Though it may be beginning to glow a bit, I don't think your lightbulb has pinged on yet.

I think you're just going to have to get tougher.

Thriftylady

I should have said on my earlier post that I agree with so many of the others regarding your in laws and Christmas dinners etc. It hurts to have to admit it to people, but if you can't afford something then you can't afford it, end of story. You don't have to justify it any further than that, but they really need to be made to understand it. (and sorry to bang on about it, but again I'm speaking from my own experiences).

Anyone who manages to turn your hardship into a reason to take offence really has bigger problems than you do.

Chortle_2

are you still set in your old ways? Yes, I think so!

The thing to ask yourself, when planning things like these trips, buying expensive food etc, is where is the money coming from? You only have a finite amount of money each month - the majority of which goes on your 'necessary' expenses - i.e. mortgage/council tax/etc etc. If there is not enough spare to save for your holidays each month, or to go for days out/pizzas etc, then you simply cannot afford to do them. Yes, you could put them onto a credit card, or increase your overdraft, but then, at some point in the future, you'll have to pay the original amount, plus interest. If OH hasn't found a job yet, and the market is flat, you can't live the lifestyle you once had, but now on credit, hoping that it'll all be made up once he gets another job - what if he doesn't? What if it is months before he finds one, and even then it is at a lower rate of pay? How will you afford to pay back the original amounts, plus the interest, let alone the amount you will rack up sustaining this lifestyle next year, the year after etc?

The money will need to come from somewhere at some point!

The answer is just not to spend it. And yes, I know that is easier said than done - but c'mon - £75p/head for a meal? Do you eat at the Ritz?!

Your MIL sounds awful, but this is the survival of YOUR family you are talking about - if she likes things a certain way, let her pay for the priviledge - because you have more than enough reasons to not be able to afford to supplement HER lifestyle choices!

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I really think you are still sat in the dark, waiting for someone to flick that lightbulb on for you!

amy21_2

Greenwellies wrote:

Hi,

Hubby has been made redundant. He's only officially been out of work for 8 weeks, but has been searching for a job for 7 months, with no sucess (even registered with an agency, but no work)

Anyhow, I have cut back in every possible way, examples are:
Boiler only on when needed
began shopping in Asda
Began shopping for fruit and veg in market
only buy alcohol when it's on offer.
mortgage is on interest only deal
all credit card debts are only for BT deals
Just changed mobile contract to PAYG
make soups for lunches
children have only drunk water for years
using soda crystals with soap powder mix
never buy papers, never use dvd / or cable / sky service
Sell excess items on ebay

I am still £1200 short each month to pay the bills etc. :eek:

I work almost full time, and I am doing a full time degree, so I have no time to do anything else (but boy am I trying)

What else could you suggest?

Thanks

Greenwellies

where did u shop before harrods?
for as long as I can remember my mums shopped at asda,and now i do too. Yes if special occasion say xmas, b/day,party etc would get some treats nice shops but for usual shop i thought it was pretty normal to shop at say asda

Greenwellies_2

Thanks all of you.

I'm sorry that some of you are getting frustrated with me.

Maybe it's because I'm an optomistic person, that I always belive that things happen for a reason, and that normally makes life better.

I proberbly haven't had the lightbulb moment,you're right. But feeling sick at the moment, maybe it's immonent (sp?)

I never thought I had a lavish life, I just thought I was just managing, but obviously I have my head in the clouds.

I have spent many years robbing peter to pay paul, and because I have a 3k over draft facility, I 'think' that I assume it's usable dosh, when it isn't at all.

Today is payday. I have checked and my salary and disability benefit have gone in to my account - the balance £189.93cr

Hubby is going to the market at 3pm, with a £20 budget, for that he will have to get enough fruit and veg to last us until Friday - that might sound like a lot, but middle child eats so much fruit.

I do need shaking, I know, all these replies are making a difference. I have reviewed what I am doing and changed what my monthly outgoings should be. From that I am now only £208 short a month. But that obviously doesn't include a debt repayment for the debt that I am incurring at the moment - if that makes sense?

Thanks

GW

Annie_Fanny

GW - don't go!

I can understand if you are running for cover right now - SORRY! It's just that the advice on this board can be some what 'tough love'. Some of the advice will be hard to stomach BUT we do genuinely want the best for you and want to see another person out of debt FOREVER!

As Amy21 says 'where did you shop before Harrods'? Well may be you did, may be you were chauffeured to school, Daddy bought your first house....but any way whatever it is not for us to judge but to say that is HOW it was but it is not like that right now.

If you tackle the situation head on I guarantee you will get immense satisfaction but unfortunately it is a long and tough road that takes lots of planning and will power. I hope you succeed.

Annie

Greenwellies_2

amy21 wrote:

where did u shop before harrods?
for as long as I can remember my mums shopped at asda,and now i do too. Yes if special occasion say xmas, b/day,party etc would get some treats nice shops but for usual shop i thought it was pretty normal to shop at say asda

I used to get ocado deliver my 'food', go to the butchers for meat, and hubby would go to tesco for bread (ocado was always poor with the bread)
When I tried to cut back a while ago, I began only getting Ocado deliery when I needed enough items and go to the market for the fruit and veg. (it was then that I injured my neck)

I have shopped in Asda, and I do like their clothes esp the £6 top or skirt etc. There is a fairly new Asda a few miles away and that one is fine, but the one closer to me generally is a mess, with poor stock lines and the screaming families. Now I know it's not a walk in the park, but I like to be able to think about what I am buying and get the items that I want. It just puts me off, as does the queues.

GW

jesster_2

Greenwellies wrote:

I'm sorry that some of you are getting frustrated with me.

Maybe it's because I'm an optomistic person, that I always belive that things happen for a reason, and that normally makes life better.

I proberbly haven't had the lightbulb moment,you're right. But feeling sick at the moment, maybe it's immonent (sp?)

Today is payday. I have checked and my salary and disability benefit have gone in to my account - the balance £189.93cr


I do need shaking, I know, all these replies are making a difference. I have reviewed what I am doing and changed what my monthly outgoings should be. From that I am now only £208 short a month. But that obviously doesn't include a debt repayment for the debt that I am incurring at the moment - if that makes sense?

I for one am not frustrated with you! It's just that we can be a tough-love bunch at times, because that's how we have to be with ourselves!

It's great that you're optimistic, it really is. That'll serve you well as you progress along the road to debt-freedom.

And feeling sick? Yep, that's pretty much how it feels before the lightbulb goes on! It has to feel bad for us to realise what we need to do.

Please don't feel attacked in any way. Everyone here is genuinely trying to help. It's just that we have to talk sternly to ourselves from time to time, as well as each other!

Good luck, don't give up, you're getting there.

Annie_Fanny

Greenwellies wrote:

Now I know it's not a walk in the park, but I like to be able to think about what I am buying and get the items that I want. It just puts me off, as does the queues.
GW

Gasp!!!! Oh oh dear...sounds like your lightbulb is one fashioned by Vivienne Westwood!