What else can I do?

Greenwellies_2

shazzer22 wrote:

Few things that spring to mind from me for what its worth:
*£25 optical bills? what's this for? if its contact lenses you can get much better deals for half the price

Hi, thanks for all your thoughts.
Around here the cheapest Christmas Day dinner is £75. Even when I was in catering a good 10 years back, it was still about £49.

The Christmas plan was (Because FIL is ill & wants the family together)
As no-one has the space to cook for 14 people, nor the space to fit 14 in to sit down and eat, we would have to go out. The cost of this being £75 per head x 11 adults and £35 per child. So the total without drinks would be £930.
On top of that no body has space to put all 14 people up, so we would be looking at at least one Travel lodge room (£69 per night, assuming there is no increase at Christmas) Then there would be the means of getting to / from restaurant as MIL doesn't drive and SIL hasn't got a car - we haven't factored in the expense of that as we believed it would be hard enough getting a taxi anyhow.
We would also feel a bit 'alone' after dinner, we would be returning to our respective homes / travel lodge 'alone' as again no-one has space for 14 of us.
That was our rational.
To spend £400 per family for a weeks holiday in accomodation where we can all be together (but have our own space) The £400 would (should) also include all the food and drinks for everyone.

As for contact lenses, because of some funny thing that I don't understand, hubby has to have these ones. Having said that he doesn't change them each month without fail, so he is 'saving' some money.
I have looked into Tesco etc, but they don't do the lenses he needs.

Thanks

GW

calleyw

Greenwellies wrote:

As for contact lenses, because of some funny thing that I don't understand, hubby has to have these ones. Having said that he doesn't change them each month without fail, so he is 'saving' some money.
I have looked into Tesco etc, but they don't do the lenses he needs.

Thanks

GW

Umm is that not bad for your eyes. Not changing contacts. My eye sight is worth more than a few pounds to me.

But each to there own.


Yours


Calley

lynzpower

GW,

Without sounding too harsh, if its really the in-laws that are driving this, then what are they going to do to make it affordable for you guys? Can they pay your share instead of presents for example?

Any news on the OHs job yet? Keeping them crossed for you

Incidentally my family paid for me & OH to have a local travellodge at Xmas last year as there wasnt really room for us in my old single bed and it was a tenner. Tenner rooms at travel lodge is standard now, as long as booked at least 21 days in advance.

"Then there would be the means of getting to / from restaurant as MIL doesn't drive and SIL hasn't got a car - we haven't factored in the expense of that as we believed it would be hard enough getting a taxi anyhow"

Getting your MIL to somewhere that she has generated happening isnt your concern, nor is it your sister in laws. YOu will have a car, and you getting to wherever is your business. At the risk of sounding again like a nag, you dont need to be concerned with them and thier logistics.

Also to say you do seem to overprice things a bit, and I used to do it too, and I realised that it was the source of quite a lot of my panic. Youd think it would be murder to get a taxi places on Xmas day, but its not at all, we didnt even pay double fare last year on Xmas day. Before you make any decisions on whats cheaper, do have a PROPER hunt around. I thought i was great at finding the bargains etc, but I asked about something on "I wanna" board the other week, and loads of people found the cheaper deals than I could find, and by quite a long way.

I do sympathise , your inlaws sound like a nightmare

Greenwellies_2

calleyw wrote:

Umm is that not bad for your eyes. Not changing contacts. My eye sight is worth more than a few pounds to me.

But each to there own.


Yours


Calley

It is if you don't change them for a long period of time. I am well aware of it, but it's basically that he wears them until they don't feel comfortable (which is just over a month, maybe 6 weeks) and then he changes them.

Thanks

GW

Greenwellies_2

lynzpower wrote:

GW,

Without sounding too harsh, if its really the in-laws that are driving this, then what are they going to do to make it affordable for you guys? Can they pay your share instead of presents for example?

Any news on the OHs job yet? Keeping them crossed for you

At the risk of sounding again like a nag, you dont need to be concerned with them and thier logistics.

I do sympathise , your inlaws sound like a nightmare

Ah the in-laws, well neither of them work, so they can't afford anything, hence why they come to me for my wine and to make sure that my children don't make a mess on their carpet.... (i'll stop there because it drives me mad)
They have a budget of £10 per head at Christmas, so no, they won't pay, they never offer anything towards dinner / tea / picnic etc.

I think I am concerned because I don't like letting people down and it would be nice for us all to be together for once at Christmas. The only other time we get to see each other is when WE travel to either BIL / SIL and then we have to pay taxi at £28 each way and then travel lodge, based on two rooms (as they don't cater for 5) at 69.00 each. I have become aware of the £10 rooms recently, but I wasn't able to use them on my preferred dates

:j The job front :j
He attended a short notice interview on Monday, they'll let him know..... He has applied for a differnt post with the same co, at a different branch, He has an interview for that tomorrow, but it's with the same person as monday so discussed that on Monday. So we're not sure why he's still got to attend, but hey-ho!
He signed up with a new agency on Monday too, they just called to say that his ref's all checked out and he passed their tests,, so he will start working for them next week *phew*

Thanks for asking, feeling a bit brighter now.

GW

Chell

Re: Travel Lodge Rooms, my SIL uses them regularly for 2 adults and 3 children in one room. She has never had a problem.

lynzpower

Oh wow, so hes got some work for Monday then!?! :T: Thats fantastic news!!!!! Excellent!!!

If your in laws are expecting you to subsidise them with what they are suggesting, I know it cant be easy, but you HAVE to tell them to sling thier hooks. Maybe you could direct them to this site, or recomend they start selling thier stuff to finance thier lifestyles - as you are choosing to do with them!

If you struggle to do it verbally , write them a letter saying " im writing this as we find it difficult to talk to you. We feel that our wishes are ignored. We are trying to change to an affordable lifestyle, and unfortunately, what you are doing is not helpful" there are ways of doing it where you dont roll over but you have to tell them whats what, how DARE they make you feel bad for doing the right thing :mad:
xx

lynzpower

Just reread this again

Is this right "Ah the in-laws, well neither of them work, so they can't afford anything, hence why they come to me for my wine and to make sure that my children don't make a mess on their carpet.... (i'll stop there because it drives me mad)
They have a budget of £10 per head at Christmas, so no, they won't pay, they never offer anything towards dinner / tea / picnic etc"

they dont work
they want to go for expensive pizzas, meals out etc
who pays for them? You guys?
They insist on expensive Xmas cos they dont want to get their carpet dirty/ noise etc?
I wonder how being in a cottage is any different noisewise from being at a house?
Whos paying for this? You guys?

GW, love, seriously, you just have to tell them straight. they are bullying you -they may not realise it but from what I can tell, they are. Why dont you say, weve had a look at our finances, and we think your budget is a BRILLIANT idea, 10 per head is about what we can manage too, thanks for the idea.

See what happens then.

Hugs xx

Annie_Fanny

Greenwellies wrote:

Ah the in-laws, well neither of them work, so they can't afford anything, hence why they come to me for my wine and to make sure that my children don't make a mess on their carpet.... (i'll stop there because it drives me mad)
They have a budget of £10 per head at Christmas, so no, they won't pay, they never offer anything towards dinner / tea / picnic etc.

I think I am concerned because I don't like letting people down and it would be nice for us all to be together for once at Christmas. The only other time we get to see each other is when WE travel to either BIL / SIL and then we have to pay taxi at £28 each way and then travel lodge, based on two rooms (as they don't cater for 5) at 69.00 each. I have become aware of the £10 rooms recently, but I wasn't able to use them on my preferred dates

GW - are you crazy? They are all taking the P*SS! Who is making up the £65 per head for MIL/FIL? I hope it's not you? What's up with the BIL/SIL? This thread is affecting me - I am fuming! Ha ha ha! It sounds like they are controlling you by guilt. Tell them you are having a quiet family Christmas this year - and that none of the cash sucking leeches are invited!

lynzpower

"I think I am concerned because I don't like letting people down and it would be nice for us all to be together for once at Christmas"

GW, really? they sound like bloody nightmares to me- I could not imagine a less relaxing Xmas than spending time with rellies that are acting like you are their keepers.