The Morals of my Friend. Am i being a prude?!

looktothefuture

I've been in this situation myself... I'm also a bit of a prude when it comes to things like this...

Had a friend J, who was dating B and had been for 4 years BUT also had E (married with young kids) and I (married with grown up kids) on the side (yes, 3 of them!). This went on for a period of 2 - 21/2 years and I'd had enough of the lying, sneaking and !!!!!ing about the 3 of them so our mutual friend gave J the option - either J tells B about E and I or she would... gave J 24 hours and when J ran rather than stood to face the music, our mutual friend dropped the bomb and told B! B was furious, and came straight round to my house to confront me about why I'd never told him, who else knew, how long had I known... etc. I've never forgotten that night... I lost a friend, but gained a lifelong friend.

Tell your friend! What exactly do you have to loose?

woody01

Or you could go threeway

belfastgirl23

This woman isn't anyone's friend including yours. Telling you puts you in an awful position. In your shoes I'd make it really clear to her that I think she behaved badly and that you definitely don't want to know about this sort of thing in the future. And to be honest I wouldn't be making any big moves to see her again either...

geri1965_2

I don't think you are prudish at all. Friend's boyfriends/husbands are out of bounds, end of. I wouldn't even consider going out with a friend's ex, let alone a current partner.

Stephb1986_2

I find it rather disgusting too. I have a friend who is now a single mother of 3, she has been going out with a married man with 2 kids, so lets call her A and him B ok so A & B have been going out for about 8 months A knows about B's wife and kids but B has been saying that he is no longer in a relationship with his wife just living there and saying he will leave his wife for A then a few days later B is nasty to A. A's kids go to their dads every other week and a few days before that B upsets A.

So after a few weeks of this happening A goes out and gets another fella so we call him C. Within hours of meeting C, A brings him home and does the dirty deed. C leaves in the morning but comes back the same night and stays again this happens for a week or so. Then the other day C leaves in the morning then B turns up and spends most of the day there obviously doing the deed then B leaves and C arrives and he spends the night!

So what do you think about that dont forget her kids are on school holidays at the moment so are in the house. It's like a knocking shop!

Steph xx

Zazen999

alipops1986 wrote: »

I am the youngest of my group of friends. We used to or still do work together in some cases.

Last night we were at a bit of a party/gathering during which one of my mates told me she'd slept with another of our mates boyfriend!! :eek:

The boyfriend is her housemate but happens to be dating our other friend. Apparently they were both drunk.

Now, i might be a bit old fashioned about it but i was so shocked and :mad: that someone could betray another friend. I'd NEVER dream of doing something like that ever, drunk or otherwise!

I knew someone who bragged about this but it was all a lie; so just be careful in case someone is dragging you into a little game.

red_devil

yep tell her what your friend said!

SSB

This is very dangerous ground... You would be better off not getting involved at all. Your friend might not thank you for telling her, in fact she might already know and is working through it. Some people would rather not know and she will blame you for telling her.

Dinah93

Is it only me who is struggling with all the initials to understand the situations?! Maybe I'm just slow but maybe people could just use different names for the clarity of the story?! Took me 5 readings to grasp looktothefutures situation.

maggied_2

I would keep my mouth shut unless asked about this one! The messenger does get shot!!
The friend may not thank you. The bragging girl may have told you in order that you *would* pass the info on. Or she may just be so pathetically insecure that she gets her rocks off behaving like a b*tch! Anyway you've an idea of what she's like now - keep her at arm's length, don't rely on her for anything.
However try not to be too judgmental - we're all entitled to c*ck up every now and then and we've all done things we're not especially proud of in one way or the other.

You are in a bad position - I've been there myself and unless you are very good friends with the girl who has been cheated on, or you get wind that she's making moves towards some serious commitment (moving in, trying for a baby) I would keep it to yourself. Telling your friend to get if off your mind isn't always the fairest thing to do even though it feels like the *right* thing to do.