Wastefull flatmate, what should I do?

GettingHitched

Do you know what, maybe you do things that annoy her? If you get along in other aspects, then why bother starting something for the sake of a few pennies.

Maybe she has a reason for using so much loo roll, maybe she has a digestive problem? I also fill the kettle and re boil through out the day, im also guilty of leaving lights on...but hey ho, we arent all perfect

consultant31

stingeylass wrote: »

I'd better clarify I don't rush in to the bathroom to check how much loo paper she's used, I agree that would be pretty inappropriate!
It's more like, I use up the last bit of loo paper in the morning, put a new roll in the holder, and come back again a few hours later to find it all gone again. I know some of my examples might sound petty and on their own are things I could overlook, but the things I've listed are only the tip of the iceberg and the small things can really add up.
I think i'll try what some of you have suggested and make subtle comments about energy use and the environment and try and do it in a roundabout way, so i'm not directly getting at her.

Well I have to say I'm with you on this and I think ailuro2 has made a brilliant suggestion in having a "how's it going" meeting.

It seems lots of people are very wasteful, even though they're posting on a money saving site it really surprises me It may only be "pennies" wasted, as someone mentioned, but those pennies add up and we should all be takng steps to help with the environmental side anyway.

floss2

ailuro2 wrote: »

Since you've only been living together a short time, why not arrange a 'how it's going' meeting.

Great idea

GettingHitched wrote: »

Maybe she has a reason for using so much loo roll, maybe she has a digestive problem?

If she has, then she should really offer to buy her own or extra to cover her increased use...or even buy tissues to blow her nose or remove her make-up with.

GettingHitched wrote: »

I also fill the kettle and re boil through out the day, im also guilty of leaving lights on...but hey ho, we arent all perfect

Maybe if you are ever on a reduced budget you will be more aware of the cost of your actions.

consultant31 wrote: »

It seems lots of people are very wasteful, even though they're posting on a money saving site it really surprises me It may only be "pennies" wasted, as someone mentioned, but those pennies add up and we should all be takng steps to help with the environmental side anyway.

I totally agree - every penny adds up.

minerva_windsong

I was in exactly the same situation in my student house last year - one housemate in particular would do things like boil a litre of water for one cup of tea (I have to admit if I was in the kitchen I'd turn the kettle off and empty some of it out as he had a habit of filling it up, turning it on and wandering off) but then would whinge about the house always being too hot in winter (his course meant he was never in whereas our other two housemates and I were nearly always in). I also seemed to spend my life picking toilet roll middles and shower gel bottles out of the bathroom bin and putting them in the recycling...

In the end I never said anything but after a while it really started to get on my nerves. I think a 'how it's going' meeting is definitely a good idea though, we did a similar thing regarding the heating issue and it eventually got resolved. I'd also mention the positive things about cutting down - someone mentioned the observation that the kettle will boil faster if you put less water in it, which I think is good.

stationaryace

having shared with several people over the years, I would advise not bottling this up as little issues can quickly balloon into big ones (in your head at least) and can result in an outburst at an inopportune time and probably not in the nicest manner either. decide which issues you really can't live with and which ones aren't actually that bad- if you both list everything little thing about the other that bugs you it could make for a very frosty atmosphere afterwards.

anniecatz

It's not worth bringing up- maybe leave some environmental leaflets out... If you get on in other ways then it's better to have a housemate you get on with then bring anything up. It's very hard to find housemates you can relax with. Just breathe remember to turn off the lights after her and see it as endearing habit.

DirtPoorGuy

Did she have any previous flatmates?, it might be an idea to try and find out if they left for similar reasons, it could be a good bargaining chip to get your flatmate to see reason, because if you leave odds are future flatmates won't hang around too long either when they discover they have to subsidise her lifestyle, if you can get her to recognise the potential pattern she may reconsider her habits.

If after talking it over with her and you cannot get her to rationalise the problem then you might want to consider these options.

1) You behave the same way your flatmate does for a while, when the bills start escalating and she finds herself in the bathroom minus toilet paper because you wasted lots of it and never bothered to replace it you create a window of opportunity for you both to agree to cut your usage.

2) Find alternative accomodation as sometimes selfish people can not be reasoned with.

elmer

I am afraid I was a little like your flatmate when I first left home, as of course at home although my Mum nagged I could leave as many lights on as I wanted as I didnt pay the bills.
When the bills became my responsability, I did eventually realise the cause and effect of leaving lights on etc, so perhaps she just isnt thinking that it will all have to be paid for.
Leaving home can be a big learning curve with a few bumps on the way.

Elmer x

zzzLazyDaisy

A few posters asked you earlier on in this thread if this is her house. I don't think you have answered this (apologies if I have missed it).

It is relevant because there is a world of difference between a lodger who has a room in some-one elses house, and who may contribute towards the bills, but is not legally liable for bills/mortgage/council tax/insurances/general maintenance etc etc. and a flat-mate who is on the tenancy agreement and equally liable for all outgoings and responsibilities.

If you are a lodger in her house, and you start raising these things after such a short time you run the risk of her throwing a wobbly and telling you to leave.

If you are a joint tenant in a shared house, with equal rights to be there, and equal responsibilities for everthing then that's different, but I think you need to be clear what you mean when you say you are her 'flat-mate'

SailorSam

I've never had to flat share but i'm sure i'd hate it, having to put up with others annoying habits. But i think i agree with most other posters, you'll just have to bite your tongue, maybe over time drop the odd hint here and there.
But it's always the little things that build up over time that really bug you isn't it.