Wastefull flatmate, what should I do?

stingeylass

A few weeks ago I moved in with a new flatmate, and in most ways we get along fine, but the one slight problem is that she is quite wastefull and doesn't seem to understand the cost of things. If she is making a cup of tea she won't just boil enough water, but will fill the kettle right up to the top :eek: and she does this several times a day!
She leaves lights switched on, tumble dries all of her clothes, and uses up an unbelievable amount of toilet roll.
We split the bills and take it in turns to buy washing up liquid, toilet paper etc, and over time these small habits of hers are going to end up costing me a lot of money.
I really need to talk to her about this before its too late, but I have no idea how to bring it up and don't want to be seen as the naggy, killjoy flatmate who goes around telling everyone to stop what they're doing, and I don't want to make her feel bad about it either.

Am I just overreacting about the whole thing, or would i be justified in bringing it up?

smartpicture

stingeylass wrote: »

A few weeks ago I moved in with a new flatmate, and in most ways we get along fine, but the one slight problem is that she is quite wastefull and doesn't seem to understand the cost of things. If she is making a cup of tea she won't just boil enough water, but will fill the kettle right up to the top :eek: and she does this several times a day!
She leaves lights switched on, tumble dries all of her clothes, and uses up an unbelievable amount of toilet roll.
We split the bills and take it in turns to buy washing up liquid, toilet paper etc, and over time these small habits of hers are going to end up costing me a lot of money.
I really need to talk to her about this before its too late, but I have no idea how to bring it up and don't want to be seen as the naggy, killjoy flatmate who goes around telling everyone to stop what they're doing, and I don't want to make her feel bad about it either.

Am I just overreacting about the whole thing, or would i be justified in bringing it up?

Hmmm, I'm not sure its going to go down well to try discussing toilet roll habits with someone you've only known a few weeks!

You're going to have to be quite tactful with this, or risk alienating her. To be honest, most people would probably think that the :eek: icon is a slight over-reaction to the crime of putting too much water in your kettle! Although you do have a genuine point.

How old are you both? I've always had similar battels about the tumble-dryer, lights etc with my two teenage daughters, and I'll tell you what worked with them. I bought one of those OWL electricity monitors, that shows how much electricity you're using. They loved it, and carried it round the house turning things off to see how much it went down by. Every time someone came to the house they showed it off and incredulously told them much each appliance used - including the kettle. You could try doing that and just showing her actual money ticking off on the monitor in a fun sort of way rather than sounding like her dad.

I'd leave the toilet roll issue well alone though.

MrsE_2

stingeylass wrote: »

A few weeks ago I moved in with a new flatmate, and in most ways we get along fine, but the one slight problem is that she is quite wastefull and doesn't seem to understand the cost of things. If she is making a cup of tea she won't just boil enough water, but will fill the kettle right up to the top :eek: and she does this several times a day!

I do this:o

I think I got in trouble a few times as a child for boiling the kettle dry:o:o

Lifesapeach

Did you know this person Before you moved in? How close are you and can a compromise be met? does she own the property? You could suggest separate consumables ie/ toilet roll, washing up liquid etc if it is that big a deal how much time would it take for it to become alot of money for you? I would suggest that before anything is brought to issue you should either compromise or separate all expenses that would cost you more than you are able/willing to pay. I house shared for years & always worked out a solution/compromise with my housemates, you could maybe start by suggesting that he/she looks at this site for the sort of economic ethos you aspire to. This might take some subtlety on your part though - good luck J

dieselhead

Like the poster above in some respects it does depend upon who moved in with who and who owns the property.

I'm almost inclined to suggest you don't say anything as whilst annoying, it may be a better to keep quiet to keep the peace, after all you do have to live with this person. I have been in a similar situation and was probably more in the position of your flatmate in that I am a very cold person and she never seemed to feel the cold, so I would be shivering with 4 jumpers on and she would have the windows open, I would be forever turning the heating on only for her to turn it off 5 mins later.

There will always be things about a flat mate that annoy you, but I do think that unless this is costing you a significant amount of money it may be better not to say anything in order to preserve your relationship, and ensure your home is pleasent place to be.

Lifesapeach

Did you know this person Before you moved in? How close are you and can a compromise be met? does she own the property? You could suggest separate consumables ie/ toilet roll, washing up liquid etc if it is that big a deal how much time would it take for it to become alot of money for you? I would suggest that before anything is brought to issue you should either compromise or separate all expenses that would cost you more than you are able/willing to pay. I house shared for years & always worked out a solution/compromise with my housemates, you could maybe start by suggesting that he/she looks at this site for the sort of economic ethos you aspire to. This might take some subtlety on your part though - good luck J

Brecon_Beacons

I think the examples you have given are incredibly petty, and I am deeply grateful that I have never had to share a flat, far less with a person like you!

What is occurring, that you are checking the amount of toilet tissue she is using??

It sounds to me like you are using the excuse of equitable distribution of expenses, to invade the privacy of your flat mate to a really unacceptable extent. Is she aware of the kind of mental stock you are taking of her? What do you think she would say to you, if she did know?

After all, a boiled kettle and a light left on for a few hours amount to a few pence. Who's to say what things YOU do, that also use up a few pennies, where she would not? It all evens out in the end - rent after all is calculated in pounds. You seem to be set to quibble over every 50p's-worth. That way madness lies.

I would say: lighten up! And stop taking such an intense interest in what your flatmate does. It really isn't healthy!

*gobsmacked*

Zazen999

stingeylass wrote: »

A few weeks ago I moved in with a new flatmate, and in most ways we get along fine, but the one slight problem is that she is quite wastefull and doesn't seem to understand the cost of things. If she is making a cup of tea she won't just boil enough water, but will fill the kettle right up to the top :eek: and she does this several times a day!
She leaves lights switched on, tumble dries all of her clothes, and uses up an unbelievable amount of toilet roll.
We split the bills and take it in turns to buy washing up liquid, toilet paper etc, and over time these small habits of hers are going to end up costing me a lot of money.
I really need to talk to her about this before its too late, but I have no idea how to bring it up and don't want to be seen as the naggy, killjoy flatmate who goes around telling everyone to stop what they're doing, and I don't want to make her feel bad about it either.

Am I just overreacting about the whole thing, or would i be justified in bringing it up?

My OH used to do some of these things; but I had other ways of training him. My mother used to do the kettle thing; until she gave up her job and still had a mortgage to pay so little things like electricity bills became more important to reduce.

You should have posted this on the old style board; for tips to help.....

I'd perhaps:
split the loo roll - tell her you prefer a certain type so will use your own [not always practical but hey ho]
Mention - you don't need to fill the kettle up, I'm not having a tea.....and talk your way through making a cuppa for yourself [Ooh, I fancy a tea but no need to fill the kettle, it's already really full...]
Get a clothes arier or use the line and mention how lovely and fresh the clothes are and how much you love the smell; tumble dried clothes always dry too much and can't be ironed properly....

I'm afraid that it will be little by little; if you mention everything at once she might well take it the wrong way and it will be frosties at dawn for months on end.

But don't take it too far....I'd start with the buying your own consumables if it were me; and calling out: 'Stacey, are you in the front room' 'No, I'm in the bedroom' 'Oh, I thought you were in the front room because the light was on - I'll go and turn it off for you'...

Rockporkchop

I would be absolutely horrified if a new flatmate commented on my so-called excessive use of toilet paper. My bags would soon be packed, I can tell you. Just get cheaper toilet roll and washing up liquid from the pound shop.

Re the kettle boiling, why don't you buy a Breville Hot Cup, a fantastic little device that gives you exactly enough boiling water for one cup of tea. It will save you money in the long run if you both use it.

You are over reacting a bit though, it sounds as if you are her mum rather that her flatmate!! We all leave home to get away from being bossed around and moaned at!

DKLS

If you picked me up on these things I would be looking to move asap thinking if you were moaning about loo rolls and leccy what would be next.

However If you explained that you wanted to bill me extra for leccy, as I use the dryer more and fill the kettle to the top, I would happily pay just to shut you up.

maggied_2

Tricky one. Yes it's a bit of an over-reaction but i can remember from my days of house sharing the little things do start to annoy you after a while.

Have you had a electricity bill yet? Can you give a meter reading and get a bill generated from that? If so you could always show her it (if it *is* actually too big!! - if not then suck it up and just nibble her food if it makes you feel better ) and then say you're skint and could do with getting the bills down.

I had this with my OH - leaving the heating on overnight, leaving everything on standby, lights all on, full kettles everytime, long showers and very deep baths.....then we got the electricity bill which showed that our DD was going to have to go up quite significantly to cover all the extra we'd used over the winter. we discussed ways of getting it back down and he's reigned it all in now. Nothing like being hit in the pocket to focus the mind!

Good luck - house sharing is all about compromise.....I vowed never to share ever again after my last housemate stopped buying supplies for the house and then I found loads of stuff I'd bought (toilet roll, washing powder) under her bed!!!