Motivating the other half

nonoz

Thank you everyone for the great tips. Will give them a go over the next few weeks - quite like the `rota' idea.

Will let you know how i get on -or he gets on should i say!!!!:rotfl:

LittleMissAspie

nonoz wrote: »

when he sees dirt

Men do not see dirt. Give him set tasks to do on set days.

By the way everyone, it's not called "helping" - it's called "doing his share".

allydowd

Set a kitchen timer for ten minutes. Tell him to do ten minutes cleaning/tidying in one room. When the timer goes he can go back to snoozing on the sofa. Better than nothing.

Patchwork_Quilt

What works for us is total demarcation. I do all the shopping, cleaning, cooking, childcare and gardening. And organising. He earns enough to support the whole family. And does DIY, cars, phones and technical stuff. He never saw the washing up and would leave it for three days at a time if it was his week to do it so in the end, it was better for us to stick to the jobs we felt ought to be done.

I would get a cleaner if it was too much of an issue. I do have friends whose marriages are suffering because of arguments about the ironing. It can't be worth it

Trinny

Hi Everyone

My lovely Other Half - just doesnt see the dirt. He is pretty good at cooking and at washing up - we also divide the garden - which means he is in charge of the vege patch as its his real strength and i do the lawns and the borders.

Therefore as far as cleaning is concerned - i have to point out when something needs doing. I tend to wait until i know he has some free time - then ask him to hoover the house or whatever. I have to accept that it might get done later that day or even the next morning - but he then does it and there are no complaints about nagging.

I used to ask him to do a list of things - but he ended up just forgetting half of them. So i ask - giving him plenty of time to do it - and then ask for the next thing. It means that i tend to give him the bigger chores - like hoovering. But it works for us.

The one thing he DOES do - is every now and then break out the ironing board and do all the ironing. A job we both hate - so it can mount up.

My tips is to ask once - dont hassle, and dont ask for too much at once. He now knows that if i start the sentence with "can you help me please" then he needs to do something for me.

HTH

Trin

momoyama

Almo wrote: »

The OED accepts hoover as a verb

Yes, but the OED is rapidly becoming a joke with the words that are being introduced into it. Did you see the contenders for the one-millionth word?

Almo wrote: »

not at all sure what a vacuum clearer is

A typographical error, of course.:rolleyes:

Almo wrote: »

Etymology is a fascinating subject and I suggest you explore further.

Absolutely

Almo wrote: »

The concept of the pen existed long before Biro were founded and as such there was no need to adopt the name as a verb. The type of pen, however, did not and as such the term biro was gradually adopted to indicate the type of pen in use.

OK, bad example. FWIW, Ford didn't invent the car, he invented the mass production plant. It was the quickest example that came to mind.

Russboy

This is quite an old thread but speaking from the male perspective..........

In our household I do all my own shopping (food & drink wise), cooking (apart from the odd roast), dog walking, 90% of the washing up, the odd bit of hoovering, car maintenance, any technical stuff (wired the network in the house, sorted out SKY in various rooms etc), but loads of the DIY, such as recently fitted outside tap, built a 20ft x 10ft base for shed & greenhouse which involved about 8 tonne of rubble/ballast/concrete to be moved, tile hanging on gable end.

All of the above is recently, historically I had a lot to do with the build itself, whether it be putting in fence panels, 22 fence posts (into chalky ground!!), plaster boarding the whole house, initial paint of the whole house, guttering, some of the electrics, fitting the kitchen, laminate floor laying, 50 sq meters of decking, excavating trees, digging 36m trench down the drive for the water supply ………… the list goes on

So as you can see in my household I’m pretty active……………………….




Oh and there’s another thing I’m able to do, that’s look on the internet as the OP is my fiance! :rotfl:

P.S Don’t worry, I still love you!!! Plus a lot of time has gone on since the orig post, and our lifes have changed quite a bit, with work commitments etc

P.P.S See I do something around the place!!!

Genuisscuffy

Hee, Hee can I add I have the same problem with two teenagers!! My boys are exactly the same they just dont see what is the problem until I really am nagging them!! If I ask them to wash up they wash up their plate and leave everything else on the side! or just leave everything dumped by the sink. If I'm on my long shift and then come home to complete mess it just means that I'm getting ratty all the time. When they were little we would have a box that at the end of the day all the toys would be packed into and they would do it - now they do not do anything round the house at all - even dirty clothes beside the wash basket!! so I put a big sign up on their doors "girlfriends beware" might not seem a lot but when the girlfriend asks who else are you seeing and son having to explain went a long way to getting him to tidy his room (girlfriend helped after I explained!!)

champys

I was single for 13 years before I met my OH. I did the breadwinning, dishes, washing, cleaning and ironing. Also the 'male' jobs as there was nobody else around to do them. I still do the 'pink' jobs, as well as the breadwinning, but I am conscious that having DH in my life makes my life a lot mor fun, more rewarding and happier. Maybe he doesn't clean or cook, but being brought a cup of tea every morning in bed is so worth it! As an accountant, I know about valuing the intangibles too, the things that you don't see. I have concentrated on becoming super-efficient (Flylady!) in household management, and it's pretty OK. It's simply better than living alone - or that is what I ask myself when things get on top of me.

Trinny

Hello All

We work as a team but OH simply would not do anything called dusting - especially if it involved a fluffy duster:rotfl:

This is what Oh will do

Will hoover the entire house weekly - just as long as he gets to choose when
Will clean the bathroom - again at a time of his choosing
Will put the washing on - but may miss the random black sock in a white load:o
Washes up and will take his turn in cooking
Will iron once a week during top gear
Will put the bins out

( Before you ask OH is a typical bloke - but as long as i ask in the right way and dont mention it more than once, it gets done

The challenge is

1. Washing gets pegged out in a lump, or draped over the dryer in a lump
2. OH really doesnt see the mess
3. OH makes quite a lot of mess when doing things like cooking etc
4. "girly jobs" like dusting are out as are cleaning windows - so we have a window cleaner .

Trin