Worried - Sleepless nights

janninew

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

A friend of mine gets lodger's rent and the lodger rarely lives there. Just uses the place to store his stuff and comes back when he needs something and stays a night or two then off again for a few weeks.

If you live near a college you could try and get exchange students. My parents did it for a while and the college paid a portion of rent and expenses.

I'm happy being on my own - not necessarily had any disasters with lodgers but it worked out expensive for me as my bills doubled, so it's cheaper for me to live on my own. Also, I never had the house to myself and could never use the bathroom or kitchen when I wanted as there was always someone there!
As I say, each to his own and it does work for many.

Thanks!
The more i think about it the more i'm inclined to not get a lodger! Think i'm going to have to work out my budget and go from there. I really don't want to tip toe around my own home, and i'm quite worried about how my dogs would react to a new person living in my house. Plus i then have to worry about them bringing friends round, coming home late at night, so many different things to worry about! I'm going to do my budget tomorrow and look at my debts and see if i can afford to go it alone!

tealady

Hi when you have done your budget put it up on here so e can have a peep and see if we can help you shave a bit off it.
Also if you are worried about having enought money then hop over to the Up your income boards, there are some great ideas on there.

Verbatim

How about a foreign student? These will be temporary and overseen by the language school.

Fire_Fox

First thought - one do you think you might be slightly depressed or suffering with anxiety due to the changes in your life? Divorce and moving house are very stressful experiences so you would be unusual not to be struggling and scared inside. Have you spoken to your family doctor about how you are feeling?

The second thought - if you are feeling down and feeling lonely then you need to get out of the house and meet new people in way that boosts your mental wellbeing and suits your budget! I would take up some sort of physical activity - a 'Walking for Health' group, dance class (often free in pubs and clubs, just drink soda water!), beginners running club, 'Green Gym', or aerobics class (cheapest at university/ council gyms). :j Exercise is one of the best 'treatments' for stress, depression AND insomnia, and if you choose a group activity you can have fun too!

Fun thread about having a lodger:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=917993

myothercarisaferrari

Jannine, where abouts in Lancashire on you?;)

janninew

Fire_Fox wrote: »

First thought - one do you think you might be slightly depressed or suffering with anxiety due to the changes in your life? Divorce and moving house are very stressful experiences so you would be unusual not to be struggling and scared inside. Have you spoken to your family doctor about how you are feeling?

The second thought - if you are feeling down and feeling lonely then you need to get out of the house and meet new people in way that boosts your mental wellbeing and suits your budget! I would take up some sort of physical activity - a 'Walking for Health' group, dance class (often free in pubs and clubs, just drink soda water!), beginners running club, 'Green Gym', or aerobics class (cheapest at university/ council gyms). :j Exercise is one of the best 'treatments' for stress, depression AND insomnia, and if you choose a group activity you can have fun too!

Fun thread about having a lodger:
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=917993

Thanks Firefox,
Yes i am on anti-depressants at the moment and i'm under the care of my Doctor. I just feel if i could get a little more sorted i would start to feel better, but everytime i overcome another hurdle i still don't feel any happier. I know i'm depressed and still very upset over the breakup, it was such a shock to me. I use to exercise at my local council gym but thats where my ex works (teaching classes!) with his new girlfriend so going there is totally out of the question. Also i do work full time and have dogs that i have to care for. I have no help looking after them anymore and feel guilty that i have to leave them during the day that i feel i can't leave them at night to cos it's just not fair on them! Everything is such a struggle and i'm not living at the moment, just existing and its miserable.

Think i'm going to get my budget together tonight and post on here so your guys can advise me.

Thanks for the messages, its appreciated!
Jannine

janninew

myothercarisaferrari wrote: »

Jannine, where abouts in Lancashire on you?;)

Hi,

I live just outside of Lancaster!

moneybuster

with a university on your door step you would be mad not to rent


Regards MB

janninew

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 940
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 940

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 280
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 89
Electricity............................. 25
Gas..................................... 25
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 15
Telephone (land line)................... 12
Mobile phone............................ 10
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25
Internet Services....................... 5
Groceries etc. ......................... 150
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 50
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 20
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 8
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 5
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 77

Assets
Cash.................................... 400
House value (Gross)..................... 100000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 900
Other assets............................ 300
Total Assets............................ 101600


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 60000....(280)......3.69
Total secured & HP debts...... 60000.....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Next Card......................180.......20........0
Dorothy Perkins Card...........90........5.........0
Halifax One Card...............1500......28........0
Comet Card.....................980.......40........0
Total unsecured debts..........2750......93........-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 940
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 771
Available for debt repayments........... 169
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 93
Amount left after debt repayments....... 76
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 101,600
Total HP & Secured debt................. -60,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -2,750
Net Assets.............................. 38,850

Wol2

Hi Janine :hello::hello:

Be advised...you are about to experience a Wol "epic" ..(Numpty where are you...you have such a way with words and can cut my epic posts down to 3 sentences :rotfl::o)

Anyhow, I digress....:o;)

Janine......Welcome to DFW. Well done for posting..:T..and so sorry you are posting under such circumstances. :grouphug::grouphug:

Two years ago I was feeling similarly overwhelmed and anxious with everything that had gone on in my life..(see my diaries :cool:).......I felt isolated, lonely, I wasn;t sleeping....The DFW forum was a godsend. Over the last two years, I have made some lovely friends o this Board...friends who I now see face to face some more frequently than others...and you may not be aware but there was a "DFW meet" in Weymouth last weekend (we have had ones in Glasgow, Leeds, Manchester...there is one planned in Sept for Bristol..and I think there is also one in preparation for Scotland)

First, I started posting on other people's threads, particularly if there was some type of factual help/emotional support/empathy I could give. Little by little I met more people on line, lurked/posted on Daily Chat, Troll thread and Night Owls...(threads here on the DFW board so quite safe :D) .. and then one of the people I had met on-line here started a thread/diary for me at a particularly difficult time for me.......bless her :A:A

Although I can still have good days and bad days.....I know that the peepies on here are the most fantastic support network you can possibly want to have..:T...so now you have your own thread and now...YOU ARE NOT ALONE....:kisses3:

After what's happened to me I can;t help but think that life is like a tent......secured by guy ropes with tent pegs hammered into the ground. If those tent pegs (i.e. your foundations/security/people you trust) then start to disappear...suddenly the whole canvas comes crashing down...it's what happened to me and if enough tent pegs go at one time........the result can be pretty overwhelming.

Most importantly at the moment therefore for you .....Baby steps.....you have gone through some massive stresses recently......and lost quite a few tent pegs .....so be kind to yourself and don;t whip yourself if you don;t achieve as much as you are previously used to achieving in a day.......your body and mind are obviously telling you to slow down atm so they can catch up and deal with the shock and stress of what's happened....and that's why it feels such a struggle atm.

This link here provides some useful pointers about expenditure headings for a budget - and it has an MSE format you can click to post it on the thread so we can comment and help you shave some more off the budget

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html


Stick around Hun...you CAN do this.....and it'll be brill when you can turn round to yourself and say "Yep, it was tough...but I bloomin well AM DOING/DID IT :T) ......

Tip for today..... get a Quidco/Top cashback account if you shop on-line..(for mobiles/insurance/goods...anything......that's the first step towards generating some more income :D)..


BUT.... most importantly please keep posting...we're all here to help and support the DFW family...and you IS now one !! :cool:

BTW...if you are feeling down/on antid-D's...I personally would not recommend you getting a lodger........you have had a lot on your plate recently wrt relationships...to try and develop another one with a fee paying lodger might be rather emotionally strenuous and not what you need atm. From my personal experience all i can say for what it's worth is....Hole up (or duvet up if you prefer )..., i.e. put a protective bubble around you and don;t have contact with anyone who is not unconditionally supportive of you...... and then reach out/contact/interact with the areas/peepies you feel comfortable with.....(hopefully us here on your diary )....

Good luck Hun..I've subscribed to your thread.......:cool:

Big hugs (and kisses from the 13 guinea piggies)
Wol2
xxx