Worried - Sleepless nights

janninew

Hi

I wondered if you wonderful people could give me some advice, i've been reading your board for awhile and you all seem so nice and not at all judgemental!

I'm 24 years old and have recently gotten divorced from my husband. I am in the process of buying him out of the marital home. He has paid for half the mortgage every month so can't fault him for that! I should be in the position to complete on my new mortgage at the end of August. I'm just so worried i've never had to stand on my own 2 feet and have always had him to back me up (sounds pathetic, i know) I lie awake at night and worry about paying all my bills, the mortgage, losing my job, looking after my animals, everything really! My budget is so tight and i have a few debts and not many savings. I am the sort of person who like to have some savings in the bank, but have just spent nearly three thousand pounds on solicitor fees for the divorce, conveyancing etc its nearly cleaned me out!

I don't go out often as i just can't afford to and feel isolated and alone. I feel like all i do is work and never have fun. It has been a very painful divorce for me which doesn't help matters. We were together since we were young teenagers and married for 5 years and i'm not coping well on my own. I have thought about getting a lodger to help with the bills but was unsure? I've never lived with a stranger before and was unsure of the regulations with regards to paying tax etc. Also i have my dogs to think about and i worry how the new person would be with them. I could never get rid of my dogs, they are my life and its not an option for me.

Not sure what i'm asking you all for, just rambling really.

Jannine

Nickyd1975

Hi Jannine

Sorry I'm not helping you with your money problems but sorry to hear about your divorce, you are very young. My husband has recently left and I'm not coping either, we have only been married for 2 yrs. I am waiting on him talking regarding house etc and not looking forward to it, sorry not sure why I replied but just hit the tender strings with me, take care

Tixy

Hi jannie and welcome to DFW.

Sorry to hear about your divorce but glad to hear you have been able to buy your ex out and still keep your house.

My advice with regard to the finances would be to set out a budget of all your anticipated income and costs to see how much you have available. Then at the end of every month total up what you have actually spent (from you bank statements & spending diary* and enter it on a spreadsheet next to your budget. You are likely to need to tweek your budget for the first few months whilst you get used to exactly how much things cost.
I'd also suggest you keep a spending diary where you write down everything you spend, whether its 50p on a drink, £3 on a magazine or £50 on petrol.

On your budget work out the monthly share of annual costs such as road tax, car servicing, house insurances etc (if not paid monthly) and put that money aside in a seperate bank account. Then when the money is needed you will have it in your saving account and not need to use credit.

Try to get bills onto direct debits to help you budget better.

Another tip is to make sure your gas & elec bills are always based on actual readings (not estimates) so that a large bill doesn't build up. If you have unmeasured water switch to a meter as its nearly always cheaper if you live alone.

Regarding the lodger you can receive up to £4,250 a year without paying any tax under the 'rent a room scheme'.

I'll try to think of some more tips soon. Join in and get involved on the challenges as its a good way to become part of our 'community', if you are ever feeling lonely or isolated there is always someone around here (even in the middle of the night!)-okay its not quite like real company but its not a bad substitute!

Tixy

janninew

Thanks for the advice!

I think i will set up a spreadsheet with all my outgoings and incomings, seems like a good idea!

I didn't know that you could have a lodger and not pay tax on the rent a room scheme so thats good news to. I was thinking of charging around seventy pounds a week so that should be in the limits! I am very careful with my gas and electric and provide a reading every month without fail. I have also just had a water meter fitted so hopefully this should save some money too. Everything just seems so tight, i have no clue where my money seems to go to and i'm not sure what to do for the best with my debt?

Thanks
Jannine

theoretica

I have never been a landlady, but have rented rooms. When taking in a lodger you choose them and set the rules in advance (no Irish dancing at 3 am, dishes washed promptly or whatever you choose). You can either rent out one room (the largest usually) as a bed sit and expect the lodger to be in there most of the time when they are home or choose to share the rest of the house -sitting room/ TV/ washing machine (for which you would probably get more rent). Ask interested people to come round and see the house and meet the dogs so you can decide if you want to rent to them!

£4250 of rent a year is tax free, but you will need to remember to budget/charge for not having the single persons council tax discount when you have a lodger.

janninew

Nickyd1975 wrote: »

Hi Jannine

Sorry I'm not helping you with your money problems but sorry to hear about your divorce, you are very young. My husband has recently left and I'm not coping either, we have only been married for 2 yrs. I am waiting on him talking regarding house etc and not looking forward to it, sorry not sure why I replied but just hit the tender strings with me, take care

Really sorry to hear about your marriage break up, its such a terrible time, i wouldn't wish it on anybody. I was in your position last year and was so worried that i would have to leave my house. You really should speak to a solicitor as soon as possible. I know its hard to face up to, i spent my first appointment in tears! Also it helps if you can keep things as amicable as possible with your husband, not always easy i know.

I'm a bit of an expert of divorce and financial settlements so if you want to PM me i would be more than willing to offer any help/advice.

Take Care
Jannine

Deep_In_Debt

Don't wish to put a spanner in the works but...a lodger didn't work for me.

Although you are allowed the tax free amount, don't forget your bills will be more expensive and you won't get the single person's discount on council tax. Also, I had to declare on my house insurance that I had a lodger so that put my premiums up. All things considered, I was no better off.

Don't take my word for it though...it seems to work for a lot of people.

Tixy

Theoretica's post has reminded me, until you do get a lodger (or if you don't) then do make sure you are claiming your 25% discount - stupidly I didn't inform the council for about 9months after my partner moved out that I was living alone - talk about money down the drain :rolleyes: - make sure you don't make the same mistake - mine was down to apathy, I knew I could get it but never got around to it.

janninew

Thanks,

I've had my council tax discount since the day my husband left, this was due to my fab Mum taking care of everything for me.

I must admit i am a little worried about having a lodger, i've gotten quite used to being on my own this past year, but i do get lonely sometimes. Both my bedrooms are big doubles, mine has a en-suite shower (but no toilet) and we would have to share the bathroom and kitchen etc. What would you do if things weren't working out? How much notice would you have to give to get rid of them?! I might ask friends if they know anybody before i advertise. My Mum is really worried about me renting to a complete stranger and i must admit i am a little worried myself. Just seems such a waste to have a bedroom going to waste though when it could be making me cash!

Tixy

My feeling is that it can be better to have someone you know a bit, so a friend of a friend is a good idea, but sometimes having a too close a friend can make things awkward, as its sometimes harder to be business like with them about rent and things, so they may push your friendship with 'can I pay you late this week' or 'I'm a bit short of cash' etc.

I know what you mean about living alone though, I personally prefer it. Why not see if you can manage to start with (work out that budget!) and if not consider it again. I briefly had a lodger and her daughter live with me, but it was always going to be for a fixed period whilst she found & bought a house, I think she was with me 3months in total.

Alternatively you could see if you can get a weekday lodger, sometimes local colleges and similar seek placements just in the week which can help out financially but you still get the house to yourself. A local beauty college near me does that and I did consider it (not least cos I thought I might get free haircuts and beauty treatments!!).

Deep_In_Debt

A friend of mine gets lodger's rent and the lodger rarely lives there. Just uses the place to store his stuff and comes back when he needs something and stays a night or two then off again for a few weeks.

If you live near a college you could try and get exchange students. My parents did it for a while and the college paid a portion of rent and expenses.

I'm happy being on my own - not necessarily had any disasters with lodgers but it worked out expensive for me as my bills doubled, so it's cheaper for me to live on my own. Also, I never had the house to myself and could never use the bathroom or kitchen when I wanted as there was always someone there!

As I say, each to his own and it does work for many.