why do we go from one crisis to another?

rkh001

I think that the bottom line is that if each crappy thing/event is treated individually, then it may not seem so bad. But all the same each person reacts differently to each event in their life. Everyone writing on this thread is right, in their own way.
All I can say is, hang in there. Share your worries, concerns or anything you like and that just might be enough to make you feel just marginally better. Life is a trial at the best of times.
All those lucky people we see might be lucky, we will never know but all we can do is look at ourselves, do the best we can to improve our lives, do no harm to others in the process and hopefully when we are gone, someone might just remember us as a good person. In the meantime, of course, all the s*** has to be dealt with.
Sorry to have gone on....

miacat

Ceri wrote:

So my boiler breaking down, needing new glasses, new tyres in the last 3 months is down to me having a negatvie outlook? I don't think so!

But these things that have happened to you happens to everyone, it's life. just some times they all come at once.

pennylewren

Oh, I so know what you mean.

Why do some people always seem to have all the luck or fall in a huge pile of **** & come up smelling of roses - it makes me sick!!!!

I do believe some are born lucky (my sister in law is one of them)& the rest of us face challenge after challenge & get more than our fair share of the s****y stick!!!!

poppycracker

bunnybaby and all, I know how you feel....I'm in the same situation. It helps to have people to talk to, and although I haven't been here very long, the people on here have helped me a great deal, so feel free to winge when you want to. I do!

I personally don't beleive in luck, although a lot of people do. I think it's how you approach life, and the more **** that you go through, the more disillusioned you get and the more **** you expect. You feel like giving up basically. Anyway, just my opinion.

A bit of science now Endorphins are great for making you feel better, more positive, happier (however you want to describe it) so exercise really will help. If you're feeling down, go for a walk. Even run up and down the stairs a few times. Stroking a pet lowers your blood pressure, so if you have a pet, sit down and give it a good groom....they'll love it, and you'll feel better.

Sydney_2

Just wanted to say hang in there. Remember whatever life throws at you, your health is the most important thing in life. Without it, the world becomes a very frightening and depressing place to live in. Trust me, I know. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years ago, and believe me I count my blessings every day.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that, sometimes we need to take stock and put things into perpective, there is always someone worse off than you. Material things just help us live our lives, life itself is just so precious.

Take care x

lynzpower

Bunny baby,

I'll reiterate what another poster said, new tyres, broken boiler & new glasses etc, happen to everyone. It not bad luck its an eventuality, Im bracing myself for when it happens to me too. "Its how you deal with it that matters" If you think "why do these things happen to me" you get trapped in victim mentality, and cant see the wood for the trees. Why not think, well we are lucky that these things havent happened earlier, or before the LB moment or when we were in a WORSE situation (there is always a worse situation) eg what sydney has said.

HAng in there, deep breath and remember, this is character building! ONe day, hopefully you can look back on this and think, we became stronger for this, and smile.

Love
Lynz

Ordinary_Joe

I can't speak for each individuals personal "luck" so some of the random things can't be accounted for by your direct action. Some of the things like a broken boiler can be a matter of perspective.

It's not good but there's another thred on this forum where the poster decided that their plight wasnt as bad as that of a friend who's party they were going to as that friend had cancer and needed their arm removing and part of their chest and then still only had five years left at most.

So many bemoan how tough their life is in the 21st Century. It's not really that hard. A hard life is what a 7 year old African child might have when has to walk 7 miles with a bucket to get water for his family that is so dirty it could kill them. Not going to Florida or having to give up Sky TV against that can pale into insignificance.

For so many people, their luck is based is based on how they respond to a challenging event. People with genuinely positive attitudes, tend to play down or ignore the bad things and don't talk about it. For others of us, we play those events up in our mind and say "why me?" We tell others so we almost advertise the fact that bad stuff happens to us and seemingly more than the lucky ones. We seem unlucky - they seem lucky.

I once did it with my brother in law. He was once showing us some prizes he'd won in a competition and we were kind of moaning about him being lucky. During that conversation he questioned us about how many competitions we entered. We replied none because we didn't win them. He was right when he gave us that look that said well what do you expect.

I read a great book by Jack Canfield called The Success Principles. The first chapter is called Take 100% responsibility for you life. For many being on here reflects some of that action so well done. Within that first chapter he provided me with a real wake up call about my life.

I thought about it and acknowledged I am the sum of my choices. The decisions I made every day got me here. I'm in debt because I chose to spend money I didn't have and rather than use discipline to use the loan money to sort my debt - I spent some more. The outcomes in my life are based on my responses to the challenges I face. So I decided to use that point of view. I find myself in debt and it's going to take a lot of time using my existing salary - so how do I respond? I looked for other ways to bring income in. Funnily enough - I'm starting to get some "luck" in that area.

I could write about this stuff for ages but unless people want to embrace the concept this looks like an unwanted lecture.

All I can say is keep going & keep pushing - wear a big smile and carry a big hug from everyone on here.

pennylewren

Ok, to an extent it is down to perspective & yes broken boilers (I currently have no heating due to broken water pump) & car repairs etc are an eventuality of house owning & living in general. But for some people these things seem to happen all at once & on a constant cycle - you pay for one thing get it sorted for something else to go t**s up/need fixing etc. You never seem to get a break.

But, I don't belive positive thinking & being optimistic (as opposed to pessimistic) can generate luck. You can't say that someone who has a critical or terminal illness has so because they were not positivie thinking enough...Likewise whenever I've brought a lottery ticket, I've always believed it could be me with the winning ticket that week - but it never has been!

amosworks

heppy23 wrote:

I've read a book called "The luck factor" by Richard Wiseman. He basically says that so called "lucky" people tend to attract good things happening to them because of their outlook on life and their attitude to risk.
So called "unlucky" people miss out on things because they have a negative outlook.

I am a firm believer in self fulfilling prophecies - that is if you go round saying everything is awful then it tends to stay that way because you get trapped in certain behaviour patterns.

Oh my gosh!! That book is like one of the BEST ever written! I read it several times and it really made me think about my behaviour. Since applying what it teaches, I have definitely become luckier in life!! I'm glad to find someone else who's read it as it's quite a unique approach to dealing with problems too.

Did you too find your life was luckier when you did the exercises it suggests and stuff? I'm really keen to hear your thoughts on it!

bunnybaby, sorry to hear about your problems at the moment and I hope things do get better. But people, seriously don't snub the book until you've tried it, it really does work :cool:

lynzpower

Philosophical question then for the weekend. What is luck? Does it really exist?