Fussy Eaters (merged)

Spendless

Just keep trying. It's a lot of times (20+??) kids have to try something new before they accept the taste. Ignore her making disgusting noises and don't remove the items from the plate. She's getting a reaction and what she wants (the food taking away). Try growing your own veg, even if it's something simple like cress to start off with. It's amazing how kids will eat items they 'made' when they wouldn't normally touch the stuff.

Pee

Do you think that you make a fuss and give her attention when she acts like this, meaning that she continues to do it to get attention? I was babysitting a friend's little boy and he ate up because I said if he did eat most of it I'd know he was hungry and he could have some pudding. He doesn't know me very well, so probably believed what I said - I'm not sure I would have given him pudding if he hadn't eaten his dinner.

He said he had eaten up for pudding and to have the tv back on. (I am not sure if this sort of "stop watching tv whilst you gulp down your tea" technique is brilliant, but it worked as a one off.) He always plays up for his mum, I think because that is the only time he feels he gets more attention than his little brother.

I have a friend who rarely eats himself who was always arguing with his son about clearing his plate, son was just following his Dad really.

I take the view that no child starved by being fussy, so try to worry a little less, but don't give yourself a hard time as it's easy for an outsider to say this, much harder for the mother to put into practise.

Kittendreich

Would a "when you are a big girl..." tactic work? Start now talking about that you are excited about when she will be 3 and a big girl and able to eat all the foods that everyone else does...she has 2 big brothers that she can see must have started to eat properly when they got to 3...!? Most fussy eating is about control or fear of new things. A positive approach that it is a grown up thing to try new foods will help her get over the fear (would stickers work for her? a sticker for eating your dinner 'like a big girl' and perhaps another one for trying a bite of something she isn't sure of/doesn't like/hasn't had before?). This needs to be done with a strong (negative in her eyes) approach to tackle the control issues - this is your dinner, no snacks prior or after (she possibly isn't that hungry if she has eaten through the afternoon as many toddlers don't need to eat much), no substitutes, no fuss tolerated. This carrot and stick approach should help her get to as good an eater as she can and means she learn decent table manners as well as you avoiding 15+years of cooking different meals for her. Start now as it will only get harder!

I was a completely fussy eater as a child, but I was not pandered to (I'd get mine without sauce if possible, but if it was a casserole then that wasn't an option and I'd have to cope) and I had to behave 'properly' at the table so no fuss if I didn't like it (there was never pudding!). I remained fussy until I was about 20 when I decided enough was enough and I now (age 33) eat pretty much anything!

picnmix

Can completely understand your frustrations, my DD1 used to be really fussy, would only eat cereal, bread, rice, plain pasta, although did love fruit. I spent ages getting advice and putting it into practice to no avail, then I just got fed up of the constant battles and gave her the things I knew she would eat, then within a few weeks, hey presto, she started trying new things and eating diff things, she will now eat a roast dinner, amongst other things, but will try new things and then gets lots of praise. She is still fussy, but not to the extent now that it worries me, but she would never have got a pudding or any treats if she hadn't eaten the main part of her dinner.

My mum informed me that when I was about 4 or 5 would only eat cheese and dry cereal, and ice lollies - I remember going on holiday with my grandparents when I was about 6 to Belgium, my poor grandad walked miles looking for an icelolly for me, as everywhere only sold ice cream and I wouldn't touch the stuff!

I personally think it is a control thing with kiddies that age, if you don't make a fuss, and give her any attention over her eating habits, maybe she will change like my DD.

xoxo_2

Don't be too hard on her.

Maybe she doesn't like the appearance, texture, smell etc of the meal rather than the taste. I was as fussy as her as a child and i'm the same now. My parents tried everything to get me to eat 'normally' and 'grow out of it', but nothing worked. Please ignore those who suggest letting her go without, she's only 2.5!! She won't understand that it's to get her to try new things, she'll just know she's going to bed without dinner and a sore belly because she's hungry! If she was 4/5+ then it may work but she's too young to understand at the moment.
Like someone else suggested, if she only wants cereal than give that to her, if she wants just the meat with nothing on from a meal than let her, but please until she's old enough to explain why she doesn't like something then don't starve her! At 2.5 I couldn't explain to my parents that I didn't like roast dinner because i don't like the texture of gravy in my mouth, or foods looked dirty or something

Gentle encouragement to get her to try newer things but don't let the poor girl go without anything

Good luck! But remember she will try new things when she's ready and likes the look of them!

belfastgirl23

I saw this once on supernanny and she allowed the child to draw up a list of 10 foods that they didn't have to eat (single foods basically not groups of foods). But everything else they had to have at least a little spoonful of if it was on the table for everyone else. Gave the child a sense of control over what they ate. They were also allowed to change the list so if they really wanted to add carrots to it they would have to take off something else. Sounded like a good idea to me and did work in the show...

Luciferswench

I have a fussy middle child i tend not to make such of a fuss and adapt meals slightly. Such as he wont eat shepherds pie so he gets the mash and beans.
Making a fuss makes meal times stressful for all parties which isnt ideal children will not willingly starve. It can be hard ignoring the noises of disgust she makes but try to just make a fuss of the 'big children' who are growing big and strong by eating all their tea.

MadDogWoman_2

Hi,

My DD is 3, she isn't fussy but has her moments at meal times if presented with new food.

I just ignore her whilst she is being silly but as soon as a little bit of whatever goes in her mouth she gets loads of praise, which then encourages her to carry on.

I don't insist on a clear plate but she must try everything that is on her plate.

I've also found that she sometimes likes a break of 10 minutes or so, so I let her get down from the table but she will go back very quickly and eat a little more.

I've also involved her in the cooking process, tonight she has helped me by squishing up tinned tomatoes for a tomato sauce and helping roll out the dough (we had calzones), which is a completely new meal for her but she was willing to try as she'd help make it.

Rainey_LB

My DD is now 6 has up until very recently been extremely a fussy eater, I will and have always cooked one meal for us all but ended up making slight adaptions for her, no gravy if it was a cassorole, drain the meat out completely for her, take her potato's out plain boiled before mashing etc. It was quite often a texture thing, she liked and still prefers dry food.

But if she didn't eat the required amount she didn't get pudding, I would limit snacks to a certain extent and no milk before or with meal times as it fills her up and then she won't eat, I always found if she was starting to get tired it would make her worse and would happily go to bed without eating.

I know how frustrating it is my DS will eat anything and everything, I think persistence is the key, I once read it can take at least 15 times of a new food being introduced before a toddler will accept it!!

Loopy_Girl

at_my_wits_end wrote: »

Should I try a get tough approach and not give her any snacks in the daytime, plus no pudding if she leaves her dinner. It sounds easy in theory........she will eat when she is hungry right?

Yes to no snacks and DEFO no pudding and yes, she will eat when she is hungry - no child will starve themselves.

Keep to the usual breakfast and lunch but then put a plate down as per normal what everyone else is eating. Do not let her slide her food on to the table either from the plate - you are having a meal, it's not feeding time at the zoo.

If she doesn't want it then fine, no pudding.

Kids aren't born fussy eaters and the more it gets pandered and special meals made and snacks given and rewards given even if they don't eat their meal, then the more they are unlikely to eat as part of the family.