Fussy Eaters (merged)

isica1903

Hi all, I posted about this a while ago. Basically, my DS (4) is really fussy and only eats: Roast or boiled pots, pasta (plain), spag bol, sausages, chicken nuggets and chips.

The general advice from everyone was to make one meal for all and if he doesn't like it he has to go without. I've been doing that but mainly have been trying to cook things where he likes at least one thing.
He just won't try anything new, he'll just say he doesn't like it.
So what do I do next? I'm really stuck for dinner ideas and we always seem to eat the same thing, but I always feel so guilty when I give him something knowing he won't eat it. He doens't seem too bothered about it though. My DD (2) is really good with her food, likes most things and is willing to try something new.

So what shall I do? Has anyone ever done this with a really stubborn child and succeeded? It's especially difficult when it's a all-in-one type of dish ie. stew, pasta bake, stir fry etc I can guarantee he won't touch it.

He usually eats breakfast and lunch without a problem and has a snack of fruit at nursery in the afternoon, other than that he hardly snacks because I'm scared that he won't eat his dinner.
Any advice once again would be much appreciated!

KellyWelly

How long have you been doing it for? Is he losing weight? Personally I'd just carry on as you are, making one meal, not giving snacks. Children only need a small amount of food at meal times anyway, they don't need to eat an adult sized portion. He's probably getting all he needs.

The only further thing I would say is don't get emotional about it because this will make everything far worse. I know that's easier said than done. I've never had fussy eaters to 'cure' personally but I think that is probably because I've always done this and never gone along with any fussiness. Good luck!

MrsTinks

Have you watched house of tiny tearaways? They seem to deal with this exact problem quite often The episode this morning was a child that would only eat yoghurts and liquids - no lumps or texture at all!
Might be worth watching

ailuro2

Our DD improved greatly when she went to school dinners.

Peer pressure and seeing what everyone else thinks is normal is a wonderful way to improve their eating habits.

Keep doing what you're doing - as has been said before, don't make a big issue of it, or it will become somethign he knows he can use to gain attention.

Experts don't recommend using sweet food as a reward for eating up your greens, but we've used the 'no dessert if you don't finish your main course' for years, and it works. Of course at first it is applied when you know they're going to eat everything up, then slowly add something they're not too keen on but have eaten in the past, then slowly you progress.

Our council hands out a menu of school meals in advance so we'd know what DD had at lunch and ask her if she ate all her lunch.;)

kindofagilr

Sorry I dont have any actual advice, but I was such a fussy eater when I was a kid, and I think Mam just gave me what I liked, and stopped trying to give me things I didnt like, cos it was a waste of food (and we couldnt afford to waste food)

Eventually as I got older, I just started trying new things, and now I love a wide variety of food.

He will grow out of it.

fernliebee

I know it is soooo easy to say as an outsider but really don't worry. LO's can pick up on our desperation and IMO this can make stubborn ones that extra bit stubborn. Just try and stay relaxed about what he eats and try to make meal times calm.

I'm sure you have tried everything but these are just some things that came to mind when I read your post:

If he eats his other meals could you not slowly build these up so he is getting more at these times, he might just not like eating in the eve as much.

By the evening young children can be very tired and can get lazy about eating as they don't necessarily feel hungry. As above if he is getting more breakfast and lunch then you can relax knowing he would eat if he is hungry. As he get's older and not so tired/ more active he will prob start to eat more.

Some children if allowed down once they have finished will rush off to play rather than eat their meal as they get bored, try to get him to stay sitting up with you until the rest of you have finished and then let him down.

If he was hungry he would eat, unless it has become a battle and then stubborness may prevail! Like I said before try to stay relaxed and the 'battle' should subside.

Be happy in the knowledge that he is eating something during the day, and as long as the things he eats are good then he will be getting what he needs.

Children can eat a surprising amount but at the same time some actually can survive on fresh air alone! They are all different though very easy to compare siblings I would have thought. I think in this country adults and children tend to overeat anyway so our sense of portion control is skewed. In restaurants etc we are served large portions of food, which we may be able to eat, but really is much more than we need. Many children still are in touch with their natural portion control trigger so if they are not hungry will not eat, as long as he is drinking enough water he will be fine.

Another piece of advice I have heard is to think of small children's diet as a fortnightly thing. As an adult we tend to get all our food sources in one meal or in one day. Small children can eat lot's of one thing on one day, and lot's of another on a different day but if you look over 2 weeks they will should be getting a rounded diet.

Most of all, really don't worry, I'm sure many many people will be on to re-iterate that he will be fine! My uncle lived on cereal alone until he was 11 he is fit and healthy, my brother went through fad's only banana's, then only pizza or only chips etc (which was unfortunate as we were rarely allowed these at home so he stubbornly sat through a lot of healthy homecooked meals) he is now 6'1 and absolutely fine.

As I said before you have probably tried all this and so much more, but I just wanted to reassure you that he will be fine, it is very common for children to be fussy eaters and it will more than likely pick up as he gets bigger. Hope you start to feel OK about it, although as a parent it is our job to worry about our kid's!

tori.k

Have you seen the doc, just to make sure there is no medical reason behind this? i have an 11 yr old who survived for years on hardly anything ( turned out he suffered from reflux )and with food causing pain it was enough to put off all food.
once that was sorted i started giving him tiny amounts of new food (tablespoon) and did the whole no pudding thing as i find with him to much food on a plate is enough to put him off a whole meal, its working tho he still doesnt eat alot in one sitting but im happy to spilt a meal into 2 and micro it later, he also helps me cook alot (that can be a pain sometimes when you want to get on) but its all about breaking habits i suppose, good luck

skiTTish

The food he eats sound like a whole lot compared to how my son used to eat !!
He lived for 18 months on nothing but Weetabix ,sandwiches and biscuits and pizza and chips and some fruit,I kid you not !!
We tried to cook a meal he would eat (pizza and chips ,soup and a sandwich ,atleast he ate the sandwich ) about 2-3 times a week.
The rest of the time He had a small amount of what we were having and could choose whether or not to eat all or part ,he usually ate nothing ,so then he wasnt offered anything other than fruit for the rest of the night.
He didnt starve ,didnt waste away and within the year he started trying things and although he still doesnt like veg much he eats pretty much anything else ( he is 16 now )

Chinkle

He's eating two meals a day and a snack, maybe he is a little fussy, but I've heard of worse. Is he getting variety with those meals, is he receptive to trying something different at those times? Maybe he isn't so hungry in the evenings. If so, allow him to eat more in the day if he prefers.

This relieves the pressure on you come evening to provide a meal that contains "something he likes" by all means give him a small portion of whatever your having and make him sit with you until at least everyone else has finished even if he doesn't touch anything. Don't make a fuss - you may find it time he gets curious about why everyone else finds the food so yummy.

Mme.Hibou

My youngest brother has always had issues with food. When he was much younger (he's 20 now) he wouldn't eat any fruit - and still doesn't and the only vegetable he would eat was potato and then only if it had been cooked by our grandma!!

He was a fussy child who had 'fads', one month he'd be eating salad cream sandwiches, then he wouldn't like it anymore so it'd be replaced by ketchup.
I've lost count of the amount of times we've been out for meals and he's had garlic bread and chips (he's also 6'2" and straight up and down also very fit and healthy) Christmas dinners were always funny as he'd be sitting there with a pot noodle or a bowl of cereal.

He eats a little better now, will eat chicken in currys and minced beef in chilli.

The way he got better at trying more was basically people around him just ignoring it, don't make a fuss and have nobody to look at him whilst he's eating.

As long as he's not losing weight and he's healthy, I wouldn't worry too much.

System

can you try to get him involved with making the meal even if its only a salad , i agree with others its a phase my 12 yr old was a nightmare now she either eats or doesnt but if she choses not to theres no crisps only fruit on offer.